Last night my wife and I are relaxing after a hard day's work. I'm playing WoW, she's watching Take Home Chef. My wife gets 4 phone calls from the same person; all a wrong number. She asked me to answer if the lady calls again, which she does.
The lady calling is obviously upset and is yelling at me about some guy who called from my number. I calmly explain to her that it's just me and my wife, and we haven't called anyone. She reponds by saying she's going to come over and 'shoot us up'.
Immediately deciding that I don't appreciate being threatened by a complete stranger, I *69 to get the number, call the phone company to get the name and address associated with the number, and report it to the police. The police tell me to sit tight and they'll send a unit over to take a report. All being again right with the world, I log off WoW and hang out with my wife.
20 minutes later I see a police car pull into the driveway. I have the curtains closed, so I can only see the cop car through the gap between the curtains. I open the door to the following scene: 10 cruisers parked along the street, 3 K9 units running towards my backyard, 2 helicopters flying overhead, and a SWAT van blocking the middle of the road. SWAT members have formed a semi-circle around my front door, and have weapons drawn and sighted on me. So do all the nice police officers from behind the doors of their cruisers.
I am immediately instructed to step out of the house, which I quickly determined to be a great idea. I was then ordered to hit the deck and place my hands behind my head. Perhaps given the outrageous nature of the situation, I blurt out the first thing that came to mind: "Wow you guys take threatening phone calls pretty serious around here." Needless to say I think the comedic value of my statement was lost on them.
A brief and rather intense conversation ensues, and it is determined that I not the guy they're looking for. The person they're looking for is suspected of raping and murdering a 16-month-old baby. For some reason, the number the guy called the family from showed up on their caller-ID as my number. At the same time I was calling the police to report the threatening phone call, the grandmother of the girl (and the one who alled 5 times) was calling the police to report my number. The cops pulled my address off my number, and hilarity ensued.
The thing that bothers me the most is what one officer said to me after we had everything straitened out and they were packing up. We're all outside, and this guy says: "Let that be a lesson to you. Don't rape babies or we'll come after you!" Now I'm sure that given the sheer volume of the police response, my neighbors were already thinking I must be some phycho killer. The last thing I need them to here is some cop talking to me about raping babies.
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