The clocks on my laptop and cell-phone tell me it's 11.25pm.
The clock in my brain doesn't know if it's sh1t, shot, fUcked or snake-bit.
My flight from Tulsa to Houston was nerfed by teh w3ath3r
, so I'm then negotiating with Billy-Bob or Cleatus or some-such whose geography appears to be limited to the route from his trailer to the airport. So in the words of Marc Cohn, I "touched down in the land of the Delta Blues, in the middle of the pouring rain". Memphis TN might be 'Mighty Purdy" on a better day, but in this ****-poor weather, it has all the charm and elegance of a Murmansk Abbatoir. Apparently some chap called Elvus Prayslie (I may have misheard) lived here or something. Anywho, the beer's nice, and the BBQ food is pretty good.
Now I'm waiting for my connection to Amshterdam (Hear that Goalkeeper? get the Beers in you dutch pouff. Amstel or Heineken will do, but keep that Mayonnaise away from me bloody chips!).
So now I'm looking back on a week in the tender arms (and other limbs) of la Darqflame with her lesbian cats, delightful offspring and bodacious automobile (I did indeed, as they say, get my kicks on Route 66). I can now add "Cherokee Biker Bar", redneck diner and Biochemical DNA Research Laboratory to my list of places I never expected to visit.
Things I now know, but didn't before visiting DF.
- Unlike the titchy versions in the UK, Ameh'cun Hash Browns each require their own low-loader to deliver them to the table.
- American TV is generally Sh1te
- The vast majority of Ameh'cuns appear to only set out on the freeway after toasting their ancestors with rice wine and screaming 'Bansai!' Has anyone heard of lane discipline?
- People still think Eric Clapton is 6 foot fUcking 7
- In Oklahoma, the wind does indeed come rushing through the plane (Bad mistake to eat Fajitas before flying out of Tulsa)
I'd better log out soon. I just stepped on somebody's blue suede shoes (Ahuhuh)
