DeathFollow

Sounds like that pesticide really worked! What was the brand? I need to get me some.

One of my friends Brad died on his motorcycle when we were 23. We are not sure exactly how it appended, but there were skid marks for about 30 yards and he hit a sign on the side of the rode and it went through his chin into this brain and killed him instantly.

Earlier that Friday night we had gone out to the bar in a big group. I had a few drinks and was ready to go because my girlfriend had just got out of work. I said goodbye to everyone, but 2 of my friends; Brad and Aaron wanted to go with me. I tried to talk them out of it because my girlfriends parent were gone for the weekend and we both had planned just to stay inside.

They insisted so I let them come with me. We got to my girlfriends house and call some other friends and decide to meet them at the bar they were at. I give my girlfriend the keys since she had not drank at all and was not planning too. I had just bought a new 2003 Mustang and Brad wanted to drive it. I told him since she was entirely sober I felt it was best if she did. He was not having it though. The 3 of us spent about 10 minutes trying to convince him to get into the car, but Brad was one of those people that once they have thier mind made up your not changing it. So he decided to go get his bike and ran off. He lived a block away. We decided the best thing to do was to follow him to the bar we were heading too.

At this point he was not drunk, had only had 3 beers. I figured when we left this next bar he would just give in and ride with us because by then he would have had a few more and we could just get his bike in the morning.

So we arrive at the bar and are getting ready to go in. I ask if everyone has 5 dollars for the cover. Brad gets all pissed and says he is not going to pay a cover charge for a bar, so all 3 of us tell him we will cover it and it is no big deal.

He was not having it and it is hard to physically force someone into a bar. He said he had met a girl the night before and was going to go meet up with her. I did not really think much of it because he was completely sober at that point. Had only drank 3 beers about 2-1/2 hours before. So we say bye to him and the normal goodluck with the woman your off to see, and we went in the bar...

The next day my friend Aaron calls me and says Brad was in an accident and is no longer with us. I went into shock not beliving him at first then trying to take the news. It took awhile to set in. I was told he went to go meet this girl at another bar by himself on his bike. He closed out the bar and was plastered when he felt he could make it home the 2 miles away from his house that he was.

What caused him to skid out into the sign and how fast he was actually going we will never know. Still to this day I look back and know there was so much I could have done to change this, but know I will never have the chance to do it!

How about I tell you waht I do not believe it is?

I do not believe that it is something that any one of us has the capability to FULLY explain to another human being. That is not to say that some understanding could not be reached; but all in all, there would most probably be some conflict of imagery or mis-explained metaphor which though all objectivity would be drowned out with defense mechanisms and egocentric barriers.
Unless you are prepared to accept that, it would be a waste of time.

Sure. I'm not intent on arguing about what it could or could not be, since I'm not sure there is an after life or not.

I'm just curious as to what you, or others that believe in it, think it's like. So, no defense mechanisms or egocentric barriers from me, promise :)

My dad was sitting in his wheelchair and he started to feel really faint. Took his bloodsugar and it was very low. We tryed to give him orange juice with a few heaping tablespoons of sugar in it (he was diabetic) and a few minutes later, he was dead.

Turned out a staph infection had come back and his CNS and organs shut down (or so they told us).

I suspect CIA involvement.

SHH!

Seriously though, it was painful to watch.

Dude! That quote is just in reference to Bush/Blair. It has nothing to do with non-warmongering religious people.

I really don't have a "plan". I was just curious. But no wories, I don't want to make you uncomforable or anything.

To prove it, I'll remove it. There. Gone!

Edited, Sep 7th 2006 at 7:54am EDT by RedPhoenixxxxxx

I believe in a thing called love....

No, not really. Well I do, but thats not the point.

I believe in "something" as well. It's just not an organised religion. But I don't think the world happened "by chance", or coincidence, or pure randomness. I think the world is far too complex and intricate to have just emerged from chaos, pouf, just like that.

Anyway, it doesn't matter so much. I just can't understand what my "soul" is. Does it evolve? Is it permanent? Is it infinite? immortal? I just can't quite make sense of this concept, and hence, neither of the afterlife.

That's why I was curious.

I'm going for brevity





I first suggest keeping in mind that with human brains we are limited to waht we are capable of understanding.
As a result we have to look at bent reflections and try to interpret them the best we can..... which isn't always the logical way.... Logic like.. contemporary physics and biology. There is the stretch that intantly turns most people off. For most people "logical" is like a badge or a status symbol. It is also hard to "unlearn" old habits of beliefs. After a certain point in one's life, it becomes hard to accept a viewpoint other than your own or one that is very different.. it all depends on how open-minded you have let yourself be thoughout the years. I didn't really start getting a "grasp" on waht it is that I think is "real" until mid-twenties. I'm on late-twenties now. In earlier years I had some ideas that were still skewed with preconceptions and miseducation... usually stemming from the ideas of others... books, religions and the ilk. It is only after the experiance that you can really reflect and put 2 and 2 together; while you are emerced your perception is totally in shambles... like trying to tell waht kind of car you are in from the trunk.
That is not to say that I think that I "know-it-all" and am some kind of spiritual genius... I just call it as I see it and in facination with it, temd to ramble about it.... much like people ramble about a movie they just saw or a game they just played to people who really have no interest.. hehe.

The soul. A word. A word that has many many connections of many many images and concepts. Every religion has it's version, every person has their ideas. My annoyance was that even though there are 6 billion people on this plane; no one can really agree on the nature of their own selves... even though essentially they are all the same.. *********
So it's no secret that people in general are all deeply opinionated, stubborn, and have a tendency to FAIL DRAASTiCALLY in the communication department. No argument there. So apply that notion to every idea of religion and souls and everything else that conveniently can't be proven and you will see the clear cut evidence that everyone is full of ****. Apply that notion to the fact that everyone is going to take a personal part of their life experiences and apply that to their beliefs... collectivly this gives you religions. Religions are things that EVERYBODY is affected by.. whether you believe in it or not, from the day you were born you have had the religion carrot dangled in front of your face. Apply this to the fact that everything else that molds the clay of your youth has a direct effect on the way you interpret things today.
SO yeah
That covers that everything I say from now on is total hogwash, right? anyway.

That comes down to the idea of Truth. All in all. We don't know ****, collectivly. Collectivly we know waht our ancestors were able to scribble down on paper before they were slaughtered and we know waht a bunch of geeks can convince of of waht we know because they tell us that mathematics is the language that they speak and that the universe speak... of which WE only know a few grunts and moans in. So they turn around and speak to the universe with their math language and tell us waht was said. That's fine. I am not contesting the logic of math. I am just saying that it's not likely that the entirely of Existance itself only has one language.. and if it did, that a human being could claim to be fluent in it.

Then there is the concept of possiblilties. In a nutshell. I see the soul like a quantum singularity surrounded on all dimensions by infinate possibilities. Incedentally, I also see the Universe like this; the physical universe. The physical universe is the result of the quantum universe.... in a way. The physcial universe as we know it is simply a collection of dimensions as we observe them. As we observe them. It's ye olde "spoke in the wheel" cliche. Our physical universe is a collection of particles, the particles are a collection of.. well there is the kicker. There is where you are standing on the ledge of everything else. There is where your infinite comes in. There are all of the other dimensions that we do not understand/know/recognize as human beings in this universe.

Now there are a number of problems present here. How does this relate to the fúcking soul you ask? Think of your body and your surroundings. This is the physcial "world" from your DNA to the Milky Way. Now think about those other dimensions. The physical world is 3-D or something... things have those 3 height, length, width things.... then they say that Time is the 4th thing.. which makes another dimension... and it just goes on and on. As human beings we are perched around these particulaar dimensions.. BUT as you can see, these dimension are not like the classic "other worlds" like you see on sci-fi movies.. people traveling to "another dimension~!" and finding wierd creatures and M.C. Escher architecture and such. They are just additions; additions upon additions upon additions, all connected to a central point.
Central point. Central point of all dimensions.. beyond our Time and our limited concepts of Space.. the central point. This would be that "Singularity" that I Myself would call... soul MAYBE... but from the perspective of everything.. I would call that God.
But from the perspective of myself. I would call that the ROOT of my Soul.
For the soul would encompass all that is you thoughout all "time and space".

Time and Space. Think of how limited that sounds held up to the light of the infinity of existance. Time and Space.. waht is that? FOUR dimension? Out of how many?
Now, as far as we are aware as humans; we inhabit all of these dimensions. WE OVERLAP through these dimensions. We have patterns that are relativly subordinate to the dimension that applies to the perspective of the observer.

Another problem is the question of your observation of stuff.
Waht does this mean "to observe"? Waht exactly is going on with the universe wehn you are observing something? Well, obviously something funny is going on.
You are aware of the height, length, and, width of your world. You are aware of the time passing in your world. How are you aware of this? Waht the HELL does that mean, waht does that imply; that you are aware?
Some say that this is the 5th dimension. I don't really know waht a 5th dimsion means or would look like... logically... in this world that I, as a human, am living in.

This is where I start going on about how our thoughts exist in another dimension.... and Christ.. it could just go on and on from there, How could anyone Doubt that we are more than we "think" we are?



Afterlife? Afterlife, beforelife, asidelife, leftlife, rightlife, northlife, southlife, diagonalife is irrelevant. We Are That We Are.



does this make any sense?

My best friend Nathan, a bum wondered into our favorite hang out spot in middle school, where we could play Magik, and not get assaulted by Matt's crew. Behind a near by shopping center. Nate was all that, but not enough to run from that bum. He had his way with us, then took Nate. I was bigger then Nate, and able to survive the beating. But Not my Elf/Water dueling deck best friend... At least I found your card sets after I left the hospital. I had LotP in my hand, and was going to use your E. botv against our hit points. lol you taught me that.


My high school art teacher, who died on her way to school. Hit head on by a drunk. She showed me a lot, and the whole school misses her.

First pet, destroyed by a evil bully. Olly kept my trips warm. Did nothing but good, and kindness to all. But was ripped apart and burnt alive, by pure hate....



Grandpa, who knew so much, been to so many places. Did so very much. If only I knew then, what I know now. I didn't pay much attention to your lessons, then. But I remember them now. The greatest generation... Indeed!


Grandma, to sweet for words to say. Always understanding, and soothing. Your art, and eyes will stay my heart for my whole life.

Grand POP, Your da Bee's Knees baby! You gentle ways and sound, yet sutle advise will stand the test of time. You left so very early, but your memorie stands in stone.


Cat Lady, the kind lonely older lady down the street. She had twenty cats, and loved them all. She was nice to everyone, and died alone. In her home, in the dark... alone. I hope your children kept your mind warm, as you slipped away.




You all deserved a smooth as cream death. Some slipped away calmly, in the night. While the world danced time away. Other's were torn away from the light, with only a crying whimper. If there is peace in your resting, even with your body torn and broken. I hope the dark is as welcoming to your soul, as the sun was to your eyes.







emo emo emo bee bop scull-emo!

Dee bop da doo emo beemo da-emo!

Subba du wop wop, de wap wop.

Emo da Fem emo beamo Emo!


Emo!

you obviously missed my Gbajism above.

im at a search and rescue station in the coast guard. my job is to fish dead bodies out of the water. sometimes theyre only a few days old, and all they do is stink. luckily its cold where i am, so the heat doesnt make their skin too rubbery and fall out in big chunks, thats a common problem in the more southern stations. whats really bad is if theyve been out for a while, and drag along the bottom at all, all the "critters" get to em, crabs, crayfish, etc. they like to pull off any exposed flesh, like genitals, ears, fingers. sometimes theyll simply "dig in" in the midsection. thats the ones that really stink. once that hole hits the air, all those rotting gases from the deompostion just burst forth, its worse than any grave stench.

any body, the most sick part is the smell, even if its just a couple days old, this metallic, putrescent stench fills the area, and also it stays with you for hours. you wash and wash and wash, and it doesnt go away. we some back, and despite wearing rubber gloves, our hands still stink of rotting corpse. we dont even use hand soap, we usually go right for dishawshing detergent to try and scrub it. the part that really sticks out to me when we deal with these cadavers, is how the police are always so callous. this was someones life, this is all thats left of a person that someone cared about. but just bury it, push it down like everything else, like the memories of seeing a dead 4 year old floating face down, smashing his head against a buoy. or seeing a kid i used to go to high school with ten years ago, see what was left of him after he got his waverunner caught the undercurrent from a freighter and sucked him into the props. both legs severed mid-thigh, his upper torso was slashed from where his neck meets his shoulder, right thru his lung. not clean cuts either, these were ragged evulsions.

i guess another that stands out would be way back in high school. i thought this girl Sara was cute, so i started talking to her. she asked if id be her boyfriend, i said sure. never hung out outside of school. then i came to class after about 3 days, and found out she was dead. hung herself in he parents garage.


quentin tarantino is a fantastic director/writer. but he doesnt know one ******* iota of what real death is like.

Earlier this year my dad's best friend hung himself after not taking his anti-depressant meds. Just went to the closest Home Depot, bought a garden hose, hooked it up to the electronic garage door and... yeah. He was a good guy.

R.I.P. Lou.