DeathFollow

Hell no. I don't want to go to jail.

Word.

The beheading videos are the only things I still can't and won't watch.

Friday was the fifth anniversary of my mom death to cancer. No matter how I try yo remember the good memories, I found myself once again suffering from a bad case of depression the last 2 weeks.

She always made sure we got to travel and see major historical events, if possible. Some things i was just too Yong to remember, like seeing the Queen as, she sail down the St. Lawrence Seaway. Other times, we may have complain about being glued to the TV for days watching breaking new stories enfold. Or having to run and get her the moment a breaking story came on TV, interupting our favorite cartoons. Then there was being allow to stay up and watch Neil Armstrong take man's first steps on the moon. After they allowed him and the rest of the crew exit quarantine, we went as a family to Chicago and got to see them at the parade given in their honor.

That was the same weekend I saw my first dead person. We were driving back to my cousins house and there in the middle of the Expressway this guy spread eagle on the roadway with folks just standing there waiting for the EM-T's crew to get there. No one in the car said anything, but then I think most of us kids in the back realized that we just miss seeing someone die.

Mom died on the 1st and when I was able to return to my normal crazy day program 10 days later. Just as I walked into the cafeteria, they show the first plane flying into the WTC. That was when her death really hit me hard. For the last 2 years we all knew she was going to die from the cancer, and planned best we could. Nothing in the world could prepare me though for sitting before the TV that day, without her by my side.

Now as I watch the news every night, I'm glad she isn't around to see the mess our country has become. The lady would rant at the TV all day watching C-span and telling anyone who would listen how congress was going against the US Constitution. One of my parents few regrets in life, was not making it on Nixon's enemy list, though few of their friends did.

edited as I only now feeling dry after getting dreng in the rain this morning going back to the CRP. (Crazy Person Rehab)

Edited, Sep 5th 2006 at 8:56pm EDT by ElneClare

I watched some of those...never in my life had I felt so sick. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and die. My neck hurt for days afterwards for no reason other than the fact that I kept thinking about it. I can look at some sick stuff...I'm no wuss...but that was just too much for me.

My grand-dad died when I was 14, and eventhough we were very close, it didn't affect me that much. I don't know why, maybe just because I thought it was "normal" for old people die. Eventhough he was only 65, and died of lung cancer. I still feel bad, to this day, for not feeling as sad as I should have. Weird.

When I was 19, my best friend had a girlfriend that was really nice. She was a lovely, happy girl, full of colour and life. One of her friends was this girl called Lizy.

One evening, we went over to my best friend's girlfriend's house, where she was with Lizzy. We arrived there, had a fwe drinks, and I was totally absorbed by this Lizzy girl. She was so pretty, and lovely, and fun. And so pretty. At some point, she decided to go and buy a bottle of wine. She said "Who's coming with me?" I had a voice in my head saying "go go go", but becuase I was shy, I didn't say anything for a few seconds, and she went with my best friend's girlfriend. So my friend and I stayed inside, had a few joints, talked about how lovely this girl was. Time went by, and we were finding it strange that they hadnt come back.

Finally we got a knock on the door. We opened, and it was a policeman telling us Lizzy had been invloved in an accident. I asked him how serious it was and he said she had "serious injuries to the head and body". We arrived at the scene, and saw my best friend's girlfriend sitting on the pavement crying. We asked what happened, but she couldn't really say anything. Some lady that was there told us that she had been hit by a car as they crossed the road.

We went to the hospital where Lizzy was being treated. We waited for a bit, until a nurse finally came in, and told us that despite their best efforts, they could not ressussitate her. She was dead.

And that one of the biggest shocks of my life. We learnt later that they didn't even need to cross that road, that they'd made a mistake, and when they tried to cross it back, she got it. My friend's girlfriend was holding Lizzy's hand as she went up in the air.

Since then, I'm not sure I've had a day where I haven't wandered what would've happened if I had gone to the shop with her. Or if they hadnt crossed that road by mistake.

Anyway, that was mine.

When I was twelve, there was Police activity at a neighborhood beach, the one with all the signs that say no swimming, dangerous drop offs. So naturally me and some friends went to spectate. Someone had gone swimming and drowned. Actually 3 people, all teenagers, non locals who were fishing at the beach and apparently did not speak english. When I and other kids were standing on the beach two EMS techs ran into water fully clothed with the wheeled gurney, which was surreal enough, and then the divers came up out of the water and placed the body of one of the kids on the gurney. They wheeled him out of the water right past me. I will never forget the expression on his face, trapped there when he died. It was a look of extreme horror, with his eyes and mouth wide open and both hands up near his face. And as they wheeled him away, a small crab crawled out of his mouth from the sea foam and water still in it.

When I was thirteen I was riding in the first car of a subway train watching the tracks, with my mom and grandma going into manhattan. A guy was standing near the edge of the platform and I guess just fainted or commited suicide, he just leaned or fell straight forward right in front of the train. I was not allowed to go look under the train so I saw nothing gory, but the guy was killed. I remember vividly the scream of a lady a little further of the platform who saw the whole thing graphically. I have never heard a scream quite like that in the movies, nor a look like the one on the drowned kid in the movies either. Fake terror just does not compare to real life terror.

Though no new death sightings since the last time we talked about this in April.

Edited, Sep 6th 2006 at 10:58am EDT by fhrugby

So tell me. How do you peoople that have not convinced yourself that there is an afterlife cope with the knowledge that you will ond day die and the moist leather that you are wearing now will one day be meal for maggots?

Do you just ignore it>?

Only if it refuses to put the lotion on it's skin.

I'm pretty sure that happens even if there *is* an afterlife.

wellllll

I could get picky and say that if there were an afterlife, that



isn't really true.. since "you" could refer to the immortal soul.


the rest *was* just for effect

Edited, Sep 6th 2006 at 11:37am EDT by Kelvyquayo

Why do you hate Austrailian birds?

You really wanna go there?