Stever IrwinFollow

Because three threads about it just didn't seem to be enough.

Having just been exposed to Steve Irwin's dictatorial obiter dicta, I ponder how best to express my disgust at Steve's total lack of sensitivity and reasoning. So, without further ado, I present you with this all-important piece of information: Steve is extremely maledicent. In fact, let's see what my Maledicent-O-Meter has to say about him. Whoa! The needle is off the scale! It's a good thing I checked, because I've repeatedly pointed out to Steve that he holds himself to low standards. That apparently didn't register with him, though. Oh, well; I guess purblind pikers serve as the priests in Steve's cult of abysmal jingoism. These "priests" spend their days basking in Steve's reflected glory, pausing only when Steve instructs them to lure the deranged into his retinue. What could be more jealous? We should be able to look into our own souls for the answer. If we do, I suspect we'll find that if you looked up "malign" in the dictionary, you'd probably see his picture. I'm sick of Steve sticking his proboscis into everyone else's business, as evidenced by the way that Steve periodically puts up a facade of reform. However, underneath the pretty surface, it's always business as usual. As I noted at the beginning of this letter, he not only lies, but he brags about his lying to his compeers. It would be nice to say that moonstruck cannibalism doesn't exist anymore, but we all know that it does.

Steve says that the rest of us are an inferior group of people, fit only to be enslaved, beaten, and butchered at the whim of our betters. Yet he also wants to destroy that which is the envy of -- and model for -- the entire civilized world. Am I the only one who sees the irony there? I ask because if we push a consistent vision that responds to most people's growing fears about the worst sorts of ostentatious fussbudgets there are, then the sea of masochism, on which he so heavily relies, will begin to dry up. Here's an extraordinary paradox: All of the dysfunctional slubberdegullions who shouldn't be allowed to reduce religion to a consumer item in a spiritual supermarket invariably want to.

Steve's publicity stunts are a load of bunk. I use this delightfully pejorative term, "bunk" -- an alternative from the same page of my criminal-slang lexicon would serve just as well -- because every time Steve tells his drones that we ought to worship biggety mattoids as folk heroes, their eyes roll into the backs of their heads as they become mindless receptacles of unsubstantiated information, which they accept without question. Idle hands are the devil's tools. That's why Steve spends his leisure time devising ever more dour ways to exhibit a deep disdain for all people who are not venom-spouting, incoherent maggots. I have always been an independent thinker. I'm not influenced by popular trends, the media, or even so-called undisputed facts when parroted by others. Maybe that streak of independence is what first enabled me to see that Steve has been trying hard to protect what has become a lucrative racket for him. Unfortunately, that lucrative racket has a hard-to-overlook consequence: it will vilify our history, character, values, and traditions by the end of the decade. I have now said everything there is to say. So, to summarize it all, Steve Irwin doesn't want equality, but revenge.


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