Forum Settings
       
Reply To Thread

I helped a double amputee last nightFollow

#1 Aug 17 2006 at 10:46 PM Rating: Good
*****
16,160 posts
Yeah, it sucks. The word last in the title should able to be coloured red.

Anyhow, I land at our base hospital around 0400 and head over to dispatch after refueling the bird. I'm almost to the door when I hear this faint, "Help! Help me!" My first thought was that some construction worker showed up to work early and got hurt in the new wing of the hospital they are building, so I called dispatch on the handheld and informed them about the calls. Security shows up and they start wandering around trying find the source of the yelling.

I end up towards the parking garage because the echoes can be confusing with all the concrete structures around the campus whereupon I see this guy laying facedown on the ground. It seems he missed the ramp as he was driving his motorized scooter out of his minivan and it tipped over with him underneath it. I could see he had both his legs amputated off about three inches below the crotch and the first thought that popped into my head was...

"Lieutenant Dan! You ain't got no legs!"

I just about bust out laughing right there standing over top the guy, but I managed to quickly cover my mouth and hide my grin. Fortunately, he was staring at the oilstain on the floor beneath him, so he never saw me silently convulsing with laughter. I prolly am headed to Hell thinking these kind of things. Working in a hospital sure exposes you to some funny **** on occasion.

Totem

Edited, Aug 17th 2006 at 11:53pm EDT by Totem
#2 Aug 17 2006 at 10:50 PM Rating: Decent
Scholar
****
5,677 posts
Lieutenant Dan wrote:
"That's what all these cripples down at the VA talk about: Jesus this and Jesus that. They even had a priest come and talk to me. He said God is listening and if I found Jesus, I'd get to walk beside him in the kingdom of Heaven. Did you hear what I said? Walk beside him in the kingdom of Heaven! Well kiss my crippled ***. God is listening? What a crock of ****."
#3 Aug 17 2006 at 11:01 PM Rating: Decent
Drama Nerdvana
******
20,674 posts
Saw a video of a seal getting clubbed and I laughed out loud. The class thought I was a monster. I just had the thought of UHF where the used car salesman tried to get people to buy vehicles by threatening to club a baby seal if no one showed up.
____________________________
Bode - 100 Holy Paladin - Lightbringer
#4 Aug 17 2006 at 11:14 PM Rating: Excellent
Avatar
******
29,919 posts
So how is Mren doing these days anyways?
____________________________
Arch Duke Kaolian Drachensborn, lvl 95 Ranger, Unrest Server
Tech support forum | FAQ (Support) | Mobile Zam: http://m.zam.com (Premium only)
Forum Rules
#5 Aug 17 2006 at 11:20 PM Rating: Good
Who hasn't used the seemingly benevolent act of righting a sprawled, legless man to distract the ever watchful gaze of the parking lot security cameras as you steal his wallet?

The trick would be to somehow procure the van, as well. Those wheelchair lifts are worth a pretty penny.
#6 Aug 17 2006 at 11:22 PM Rating: Good
*****
16,160 posts
Heh, there's a name I haven't heard in a while. What was the name of that one sock someone made? Mren's Wheelchair or something? That was flippin' brutaal, lol.

Totem
#7 Aug 17 2006 at 11:25 PM Rating: Excellent
Avatar
******
29,919 posts
it was mrensstalker. I forget who made it. i suppose I could go look
____________________________
Arch Duke Kaolian Drachensborn, lvl 95 Ranger, Unrest Server
Tech support forum | FAQ (Support) | Mobile Zam: http://m.zam.com (Premium only)
Forum Rules
#8 Aug 17 2006 at 11:43 PM Rating: Good
****
6,730 posts
The question of the hour though is: was his name Bob?


Window seat please.
#9 Aug 17 2006 at 11:47 PM Rating: Good
*****
16,160 posts
Don't laugh, but yeah, actually it is. Heh. He was going in for some kidney dialysis time and got a little woozy. Or so he said.

Totem
#10 Aug 17 2006 at 11:50 PM Rating: Good
*****
16,160 posts
What's up, you dirty little Mexican? Update please. And spare no details concerning redheaded strippers lapdancing you in the pharmacy aisle at Vons.

Totem
#11 Aug 18 2006 at 12:57 AM Rating: Decent
****
4,158 posts
D'ya hear about the double amputee who got thrown out of the bar for arsing about?

B-boom-tsssh...Ithankyou.
____________________________
"If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders". Carlin.

#12 Aug 18 2006 at 1:13 AM Rating: Excellent
Official Shrubbery Waterer
*****
14,659 posts
I thought that redheads was a Stok thing?
____________________________
Jophiel wrote:
I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.

#13 Aug 18 2006 at 6:42 AM Rating: Good
YAY! Canaduhian
*****
10,293 posts
Oh, Stok. Man, I forgot about that coffee *****.

____________________________
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
#14 Aug 18 2006 at 6:45 AM Rating: Good
*****
16,160 posts
They both have a thing for reds. As for Stok, yeah, I wonder how that coffee shop of his is doing. Where was it it he supposedly lived again?

Totem
#15 Aug 18 2006 at 6:49 AM Rating: Good
YAY! Canaduhian
*****
10,293 posts
I don't remember. All I remember is the coffee. Quite a legacy.

Your legacy will be your 'bama black snake, Totem. =)

____________________________
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
#16 Aug 18 2006 at 7:23 AM Rating: Good
*****
14,454 posts
Lasttime he was around I thought he mentioned he was opening up another store since business was so good.
#17 Aug 18 2006 at 7:33 AM Rating: Decent
****
6,318 posts
bodhisattva wrote:
Saw a video of a seal getting clubbed and I laughed out loud. The class thought I was a monster. I just had the thought of UHF where the used car salesman tried to get people to buy vehicles by threatening to club a baby seal if no one showed up.


link to the video?
#18 Aug 18 2006 at 7:46 AM Rating: Good
*****
16,160 posts
In memory of Stok:

Bud Lite's Real Men of Genius, Mr. Fancy Coffee Shop Coffee Pourer.

Totem
#19 Aug 18 2006 at 7:50 AM Rating: Good
*****
16,160 posts
Actually, that site has a bunch of those Bud Lite ads, many of which are quite funny.

Enjoy.

Totem
#20 Aug 18 2006 at 8:49 AM Rating: Good
****
6,760 posts
I'm suprised DSD didn't have an on-line PM fling with him. She could get free coffee for life!
____________________________
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
#21 Aug 18 2006 at 8:51 AM Rating: Good
*****
14,454 posts
nah he's too far away. By the time his coffee goodness reached me it wouldnt be nearly as fresh :(


Besides, for the next 4 months I still am cutting back on coffee so it wouldnt be worth it. Now, if we were talking green tea with Peach inffused in it....
#22 Aug 18 2006 at 8:56 AM Rating: Decent
****
6,318 posts
DSD wrote:

Besides, for the next 4 months I still am cutting back on coffee so it wouldnt be worth it. Now, if we were talking green tea with Peach inffused in it....


Then we could give you the ole Doc Martin whoopsie-daisy to the belly and your husband wouldn't have another infernal mouth to feed? [:wave:]


We really need a [:wave:] smiley.
#23 Aug 18 2006 at 8:58 AM Rating: Good
*****
14,454 posts
hubby doesnt have to worry about feeding the new mouth for a good long while. =) Unless of course he develops milk glands in his pecs.
#24 Aug 18 2006 at 9:55 AM Rating: Decent
****
6,318 posts
Ohh, I know, but it is really fun (for some odd reason) to make jokes about killing your unborn baby.

[:shrug:]


Damn, yet another smiley we need
#25 Aug 18 2006 at 10:24 AM Rating: Decent
Will swallow your soul
******
29,360 posts
Totem wrote:
They both have a thing for reds. As for Stok, yeah, I wonder how that coffee shop of his is doing. Where was it it he supposedly lived again?

Totem


Kansas, I think.
____________________________
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

Reply To Thread

Colors Smileys Quote OriginalQuote Checked Help

 

Recent Visitors: 394 All times are in CST
Anonymous Guests (394)