I’m down to the my last straw! Really I am. If I get one more call from this woman, I’m going to mentally snap. I swear on my dog’s life I will!
I’ve been at my job for a few years now. Like everyone else I’m sure, I’ve run into some “interesting†people along the way. I have a desk job and I also help out with the phones as well. Our typical clients tend to have a little bit of spare coin (if you will) so we treat them extremely well. Needless to say, I too am very polite to all the callers and will make everyone calling feel like they are very important.
So what’s my problem?? I’m a 34m that has become the “love interest†of a 72f smoker client with a deep voice who constantly sounds like she’s about to die. I’m not joking.
I think sometimes if she were to come in and no one else were around, that she would try to violate my person. I’M SERIOUS! I’m scared. I tell other people here but they just laugh at me. It’s not like we tape the phone calls so basically it’s her word against mine and everyone thinks that’s she’s just a nice little old lady and that I’m just making all this up.
This morning’s conversation:
Me: “Hello. XYC Corp, how may I direct your call?â€
Bertha: “Heeeey tiger!†(cough, cough)
Me: “Hey Bertha, how are you today?â€
Bertha: “Oh I’m good now. . . †(with that old deep smoker’s voice)
Me: “Pardon me?â€
Bertha: “I’m just hot.â€
Me: “. . . Ah ok, who are you looking to speak with?â€
Bertha: “Well I had a question. . .†(nasty phlegm cough)
Me: “Um ok. . .â€
Bertha: “Did you ever take voice lessons? Were you ever a singer?â€
Me: “Ah . . no.â€
Bertha: “Have the girls ever told you that you make them melt?â€
Me: “Ah. . . . Excuse me?â€
Bertha: “I used to have a very sexy phone voice. That’s what all the boys told me.â€(cough)
Me: “I’m sure you did Bertha. How is your husband today? Well I hope.â€
Bertha: “That old bum is still asleep.†(phlegm cough)
Me: “Was there anything else that I could do for you today?â€
Bertha: “Yep.â€
Me: “Ok. How may I help you?â€
Bertha: “Oh I mean nope.â€
Me: “Ok.â€
Bertha: “â€(Then I hear a weird noise on the receiver, like it is muffled or something)
Me: “Are you ok?â€
Bertha: “Yeah I’m sorry. I just bit my tongue†(little cough and apparently smiling)
At this point I’m beginning to think that she has just licked the phone receiver or something. I swear that is what it sounded like!
Me: “Ok Bertha, well I’ve got to go.â€
Bertha: “So how are things with you and your new little wife?â€
Me: “Oh great. Couldn’t be better.â€
Bertha: “(muffled: I bet so)â€
Bertha: “I remember my first year of being married. We were like rabbits!â€
Me: “I’m sure you were very much in love.â€
Bertha: “Love? No it was more about my body and my chest.†(cough)
Me: “Ok, well I definately have to go now. . .â€
Bertha: “They say they get numb as you get older but I don’t find that to be the case at all.â€
Me: “Mrs. Smith! I’m sorry to cut you off, but I have another call on the line that I really must take!â€
Bertha: “Are you avoiding me?â€
Me: “Avoiding? I’ve been speaking with you for the last couple of minutes, but I must go.â€
Bertha: “Seems to me that a good looking young man like yourself would like a little attention now and again.†(cough)
Me: “Well I’m very happy with my marriage and I have to go. Have a good day.â€
Bertha: “Wait! One last thing. . .â€
Me: “Ok and then I have to go.â€
Bertha: “Ok.†(pause)
Me: “Yes?†(pause) “Mrs. Smith??â€
Bertha: “Sorry, your voice just soothes me to the core if you know what I mean.â€
Me: “Good day Mrs. Smith. Good bye!!â€
I have no idea what to tell this woman. One of the girls just said that she called looking for me about 10 minutes ago as I was typing this. Whenever she comes in she looks at me like I’m a piece of meat. I’ve caught her a few times looking both at my rear and my front if you know what I mean.
If anyone else has had a similar experience with a client, please let me know what you did to get out of it. This is absolutely absurd!
Edited, Aug 16th 2006 at 5:57pm EDT by Whitemedic