I’m down to the my last straw! Really I am. If I get one more call from this woman, I’m going to mentally snap. I swear on my dog’s life I will!
I’ve been at my job for a few years now. Like everyone else I’m sure, I’ve run into some “interesting†people along the way. I have a desk job and I also help out with the phones as well. Our typical clients tend to have a little bit of spare coin (if you will) so we treat them extremely well. Needless to say, I too am very polite to all the callers and will make everyone calling feel like they are very important.
So what’s my problem?? I’m a 34m that has become the “love interest†of a 72f smoker client with a deep voice who constantly sounds like she’s about to die. I’m not joking.
I think sometimes if she were to come in and no one else were around, that she would try to violate my person. I’M SERIOUS! I’m scared. I tell other people here but they just laugh at me. It’s not like we tape the phone calls so basically it’s her word against mine and everyone thinks that’s she’s just a nice little old lady and that I’m just making all this up.
This morning’s conversation:
Me: “Hello. XYC Corp, how may I direct your call?â€
Bertha: “Heeeey tiger!†(cough, cough)
Me: “Hey Bertha, how are you today?â€
Bertha: “Oh I’m good now. . . †(with that old deep smoker’s voice)
Me: “Pardon me?â€
Bertha: “I’m just hot.â€
Me: “. . . Ah ok, who are you looking to speak with?â€
Bertha: “Well I had a question. . .†(nasty phlegm cough)
Me: “Um ok. . .â€
Bertha: “Did you ever take voice lessons? Were you ever a singer?â€
Me: “Ah . . no.â€
Bertha: “Have the girls ever told you that you make them melt?â€
Me: “Ah. . . . Excuse me?â€
Bertha: “I used to have a very sexy phone voice. That’s what all the boys told me.â€(cough)
Me: “I’m sure you did Bertha. How is your husband today? Well I hope.â€
Bertha: “That old bum is still asleep.†(phlegm cough)
Me: “Was there anything else that I could do for you today?â€
Bertha: “Yep.â€
Me: “Ok. How may I help you?â€
Bertha: “Oh I mean nope.â€
Me: “Ok.â€
Bertha: “â€(Then I hear a weird noise on the receiver, like it is muffled or something)
Me: “Are you ok?â€
Bertha: “Yeah I’m sorry. I just bit my tongue†(little cough and apparently smiling)
At this point I’m beginning to think that she has just licked the phone receiver or something. I swear that is what it sounded like!
Me: “Ok Bertha, well I’ve got to go.â€
Bertha: “So how are things with you and your new little wife?â€
Me: “Oh great. Couldn’t be better.â€
Bertha: “(muffled: I bet so)â€
Bertha: “I remember my first year of being married. We were like rabbits!â€
Me: “I’m sure you were very much in love.â€
Bertha: “Love? No it was more about my body and my chest.†(cough)
Me: “Ok, well I definately have to go now. . .â€
Bertha: “They say they get numb as you get older but I don’t find that to be the case at all.â€
Me: “Mrs. Smith! I’m sorry to cut you off, but I have another call on the line that I really must take!â€
Bertha: “Are you avoiding me?â€
Me: “Avoiding? I’ve been speaking with you for the last couple of minutes, but I must go.â€
Bertha: “Seems to me that a good looking young man like yourself would like a little attention now and again.†(cough)
Me: “Well I’m very happy with my marriage and I have to go. Have a good day.â€
Bertha: “Wait! One last thing. . .â€
Me: “Ok and then I have to go.â€
Bertha: “Ok.†(pause)
Me: “Yes?†(pause) “Mrs. Smith??â€
Bertha: “Sorry, your voice just soothes me to the core if you know what I mean.â€
Me: “Good day Mrs. Smith. Good bye!!â€
I have no idea what to tell this woman. One of the girls just said that she called looking for me about 10 minutes ago as I was typing this. Whenever she comes in she looks at me like I’m a piece of meat. I’ve caught her a few times looking both at my rear and my front if you know what I mean.
If anyone else has had a similar experience with a client, please let me know what you did to get out of it. This is absolutely absurd!
Edited, Aug 16th 2006 at 5:57pm EDT by Whitemedic
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Stop it! I’m going to PUKE!Follow
Go die of AIDS.
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
MY EYYYYYEEEESSSS!!!111
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
I'm rating it up just so I can watch how far it drops. Quote:
Stop it! I’m going to PUKE!
Posting Shit like this isn't going to stop anyone from jamming it down your throat.
anyone else automatically think of the Easter M&Ms?
At least it's not some 72-year-old guy trying to provoke you into hawt phone secks. 
Edit: I wonder if WhiteMedic is related to CrimsonMagician in any way. We haven't seem him around in a while. I smell a sock...
Edited, Aug 16th 2006 at 5:52pm EDT by Demea
Edit: I wonder if WhiteMedic is related to CrimsonMagician in any way. We haven't seem him around in a while. I smell a sock...
Edited, Aug 16th 2006 at 5:52pm EDT by Demea
Jophiel wrote:
I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.
Nope. I'm not Crimsonmagician. I don't want to smear anyone else's name. :)
Hope everyone has a great day full of sunshine!
Edited, Aug 16th 2006 at 6:11pm EDT by Whitemedic
Hope everyone has a great day full of sunshine!
Edited, Aug 16th 2006 at 6:11pm EDT by Whitemedic
Overcast with a chance of thunderstorms.
Debalic - Don't be a moron. I'm trying to post something serious here my friend.
Edited, Aug 16th 2006 at 6:32pm EDT by Whitemedic
Edited, Aug 16th 2006 at 6:32pm EDT by Whitemedic
Oh, you wanted a serious answer? The I suggest you contact her husband.
Hopefully this will lead to the hottest three-way the Oakdale Retirement Home has ever been witness to, and when Mr Smith blows his dust on your back the missus will simulataneously hack a tuberculosis cake into your mouth and-
Oh fUck you.
Hopefully this will lead to the hottest three-way the Oakdale Retirement Home has ever been witness to, and when Mr Smith blows his dust on your back the missus will simulataneously hack a tuberculosis cake into your mouth and-
Oh fUck you.
Any particular reason why you keep editing your signature out of your posts, WM? It's not like we needed to see it to come to the conclusion that you accidentally stumbled down the rabbit hole on your way to the Mooglefücker forum.
Jophiel wrote:
I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.
Wow. We have a few people here that definately need hugs. 
Whitemedic wrote:
Debalic - Don't be a moron. I'm trying to post something serious here my friend.
Edited, Aug 16th 2006 at 6:32pm EDT by Whitemedic
Edited, Aug 16th 2006 at 6:32pm EDT by Whitemedic
If you were serious, you wouldn't have posted it in those idiotic colors.
Don't post here again until you realize why those colors are a bad idea.
Come to that...just don't post.
Edited, Aug 16th 2006 at 6:36pm EDT by Ambrya
Cause I see no one else here has signatures with jobs in it. I'm new here so I didn't know if that's a no-no here. :)
So if I need to take it out, let me know. Otherwise I'll keep it in :)
So if I need to take it out, let me know. Otherwise I'll keep it in :)
I have a question Ambrya... What do you normally post about? :)
Whitemedic wrote:
I have a question Ambrya... What do you normally post about? :)
That question assumes that your posts are even remotely memorable and would thus stick in the mind of someone who doesn't give a f'uck.
That someone would not be me.
I don't know. I don't care. Never again commit that assault upon our eyes. End of story.
Wow. Well ok then. I'll keep the colors down to a "low roar". lol :)
Thanks for the info!
Thanks for the info!
Whitemedic wrote:
I'm new here so I didn't know if that's a no-no here.
Wise man listen.
Now shut your bung hole (Beavis) and find out where you are posting before you post, asshat.
Stupid filter.
Edited, Aug 16th 2006 at 7:33pm EDT by GitSlayer
Whitemedic wrote:
I have a question Ambrya... What do you normally post about? :)
Fabricatious miscarriages.
Jophiel wrote:
I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.
Huh? That was.... Abbay, or something.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Ambrya is gonna ***** slap you for that, Twizzler.
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
Whitemedic wrote:
Debalic - Don't be a moron. I'm trying to post something serious here my friend.
In alternating pastels? Hardly.
If AIDS doesn't suit you, maybe a nice house fire then, friend?
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
If roses are red and violets are blue
What is the square root of pi?
What is the square root of pi?
As William Makepeace Thackeray was oft-quoted, "Go chew on razor wire with your botty-hole and drink wee wee"
I think that was the gist of it anywho.
What is this place turning into these days, the fUcking rainbow ****** alliance?
I think that was the gist of it anywho.
What is this place turning into these days, the fUcking rainbow ****** alliance?
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
I sense an issue with your sexuality?
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