So I quit my jobFollow

We've all done it. I'm young enough not to regret it. I worked at Safeway for crying out loud. Not sure where else to have posted this because the OOT forums are too quiet for my tastes.

I was late for the first time yesterday. No biggie, right? I hate being late, but I go in and start doing my job. The boss asks me to do something I can't do by myself. I tell them this. Apparently I'm wrong. Apparently I have no clue as to what I can and cannot do in a job I've worked in since February. Wow, I must really need training. As they walk away I hear a muttered comment about my being late. *fury*

I went back behind the counter and pulled my boss aside for a minute and it went down like this.

Me: Hey, if you have something to say about my being late then say it. I told you why I was late and apologised, if thats not good enough for you then too bad.

Boss: You need to watch your additude, you don't talk to me like that.

Me: This is Doug the angry guy you're talking to right now, not Doug your employee.

Boss: Get back to work.

So I go back to work and try to do my job. Naturally I'm volitile.

Coworker: So, what are you whining about?

Me: Wasn't whining.

Coworker: What are you whining about?

Me: Check your tone.

Coworker: What are you whining about? (wow i could almost see the smoke coming out of his ears to think up this sentence)

Me: Dude, you've got two seconds to get the fuck out of my face before I break it.

At this point the boss came back and broke it up. They took us into the back again and asked what the problem was. I told the boss and so did coworker.

Boss: If this is how you're going to be then I'd rather have no help than angry help.

Me: Fine, bye.

Just to mess with their heads I went and checked the schedule so they'd think I was coming in today. ***** Safeway. As I type this I am three hours late. I guess I should have told them I quit or something. I hope they have a pleasant lunch rush today! Oh wait...I'm the one whos supposed to be making sandwiches...and they were horribly understaffed to begin with...oh no, what have I done?! *evil laughter*

But who's going to bag my groceries? You terrorist!

If you really wanted to mess with them you should have ran your head through the meat slicer after he fired you. You could have put them out of business. Who would want to risk finding parts of "Doug the angry guy" in their smoked turkey?

Go ahead and go in to work today. At least you know what to do now when he reminds you that he fired you yesterday.

I heard our military is recruiting.

Doug, dawg, you gots no J-O-B, dude, and that means no dough for dope. Reconsider your foolish actions and go beg forgiveness from your boss to get your bag boy position back. It is the pinnacle of your career.

Totem

This is probably true, but if he plays his cards right he can get 15 minutes of fame on Maury or Montel screaming "fuck you, you don't know me" and flashing the double-bird at the audience just before being sent to boot camp.

Oh please, Cusak never got angry and said anything. He sat in the kitchen and burned the burgers while he drew up passive-aggressive little cartoons.

Now, Charlie Sheen...

No, no, Sheen's all wrong. Too directed. Get that Stiller kid in for a screen test.


Edited, Aug 14th 2006 at 1:10pm EDT by Samira

Is this Angry Doug talking?

Looks like the Safeway gig wasn't the only job he walked on.

This must have been pre-Angry Doug. You know, before the war.

I think Ashton Kucher or someone equally forgetable should play "Angry Doug", and I see him wearing a hairstyle and beard similar to Che Guevara. Perhaps even tilting his deli hat like Che, foreshadowing the conflict that he is about to unleash, when he quits the deli and leaves a lot of unhappy Seniors, waiting at the deli line for Pimento Loaf . Though "Angry Doug" may have lost/quit his job, he remains the potent symbol of rebellion and the alluring zeal of revolution in the work-place known to us as , "The Safeway Deli".

Cusak and Stiller are just to old play that role, as they are both getting into the "Wholesome-Romantic-Comedy" phases of their careers.

Viva La Angry Doug!

Am I the only one who is wondering who the f'uck Doug is or why we care about his job bagging groceries at Safeway?

That's what we're trying to unravel!

Who is this Doug? What makes him tick? What are his dreams? Why is he just a slack-***? Why is it that when Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into a rampaging green skinned brute but Doug merely informs people "I am now Angry Doug!"?

If I was still playing City of Heroes, I'd totally make a guy named "Angry Doug".