Limeys grabbed those snakes before they got on the plane! What we really need is for Samuel L. Jackson to ride shotgun as an air marshal on all flights in the US. That'd learn 'em.
Actually, I am of the belief that eventually we will have to strip down naked and send our luggage by mail days in advance. Once you pass the security checkpoint you'd be issued hospital johnnies like these, sans the pole and IV to get on the plane. Stews, pilots, passengers, everyone's a$$ hanging out proving you've got nothing to hide.
Totem
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UK nabbed those Muzzies 'afore they blowed those planes upFollow
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Stews, pilots, passengers, everyone's a$$ hanging out proving you've got nothing to hide.
All for it! Especially the stews, but not that stew named bruce. I want a later flight.
Why do you hate terrorists?
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
They installed new security portals at Midway where you walk in and it blows air across you and on to chemical sensors which can supposedly detect the residue of a five day old gnat fart on your coat. Imagining the NEWER stuff they'll come up with now, I almost picture a Cold War scenario where the terrorists try to just bankrupt the aviation industry with increased (and increased again) security technology.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
If I can't fly with my moisturizer, I'm drivin'.
Fuckin' terrorists.
Fuckin' terrorists.
I was talking to some friends last night about the possibility of naked flights in the future. Ship your stuff ahead, fly nekkid, and the flight attendants will just have to strip the sanitary covers off of the occupied seats as part of the cleanup between flights.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Jophiel wrote:
I almost picture a Cold War scenario where the terrorists try to just bankrupt the aviation industry with increased (and increased again) security technology.
It'll be a race to see whether we run out of money before they run out of people willing to blow themselves up.
I don't know why they're so obsessed with one-upping their last attack anyway. Those large-scale undertakings are too complicated and therefore too easy to catch. They should instead conduct a thousand lesser attacks at malls and cafes and **** like that, just like they do in Iraq. That will make people think twice about going out and spending their filthy capitalist infidel money.
hold on a sec, I'm getting a call from the CIA...
Jawbox wrote:
I don't know why they're so obsessed with one-upping their last attack anyway.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Samira wrote:
I was talking to some friends last night about the possibility of naked flights in the future. Ship your stuff ahead, fly nekkid, and the flight attendants will just have to strip the sanitary covers off of the occupied seats as part of the cleanup between flights.
Oh, come on! It'll debut as "Naked Launch".
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
These terrorists must have been raised on James Bond movies, where they as the villians must design and implement Rube Goldberg, errr, he was a Jew, so ummm, Ali al-Goldfaisal devices intricately made to prolong the infidel's agony. But if they watched these movies to the end they'd discover Jimmy always manages to defeat the arch-bad guy's schemes.
See? American/Hollywood culture uber alles!
Totem
See? American/Hollywood culture uber alles!
Totem
I'm curious about what they're gonna do with all those unopened bottles of water, fresh containers of tequila, lip gloss, hand lotion ('sup, Tacosid?), and shampoo? Those TSA workers must be making bank selling this **** on eBay. You know they are partyin' down back in the luggage hold section in the basement after work. Major drinkin' and scoring free goodies.
Next thing you know, it'll be open season on anything in your bags and the TSA will be the next mafia where "I dunno where it came from. I tink it fell off de back uva truck!"
Totem
Next thing you know, it'll be open season on anything in your bags and the TSA will be the next mafia where "I dunno where it came from. I tink it fell off de back uva truck!"
Totem
I can see the scenario now. The year is 2007 and SNASS (Strip-Naked-and-Ship-Stuff Security) is in full deployment. Hundreds of hapless souls, all stripped down to their standard issue nighties, are waiting in an endless queue for the chance to be scanned, sniffed, and probed by the security storm troopers. Dogs are led up and down the lines of people, using their finely tuned sniffers to search for faint traces of anally-implanted explosive devices. The identical scene can be observed at every concourse entrance in the airport. The fine citizens from the first world countries grumble about the inconvenience, but continue anyway knowing these measures will keep them safe from the ravages of deranged suicidal fruitcakes.
Then, on 7/9/2007 a strange thing happens. Simultaneously throughout the airport, at each mass of humiliated humanity, a clean cut businessman with a briefcase walks with quiet determination to the guide rope separating the human cattle from the usual array of family, friends, staff, and pre/post security passengers inhabiting the airport. Just before detonating his briefcase, each businessman gives a silent prayer of thanks that all of his victims have been so carefully gathered together for their execution. With the new security measures, it is no longer even necessary to reach the airplanes. /BOOM
It seems like passengers lose dignity with each security measure, but without a significant increase in safety. It doesn't matter what new measures are passed, human ingenuity will find a way to bypass them or make them irrelevant. Without the Intelligence leads, this might have been the 8/10 to follow the 9/11. Of course, flawed security is better than no security. It keeps the average riffraff from jacking airplanes.
edited to remove extra lines at the end
Edited, Aug 11th 2006 at 6:09pm EDT by Reednut
Then, on 7/9/2007 a strange thing happens. Simultaneously throughout the airport, at each mass of humiliated humanity, a clean cut businessman with a briefcase walks with quiet determination to the guide rope separating the human cattle from the usual array of family, friends, staff, and pre/post security passengers inhabiting the airport. Just before detonating his briefcase, each businessman gives a silent prayer of thanks that all of his victims have been so carefully gathered together for their execution. With the new security measures, it is no longer even necessary to reach the airplanes. /BOOM
It seems like passengers lose dignity with each security measure, but without a significant increase in safety. It doesn't matter what new measures are passed, human ingenuity will find a way to bypass them or make them irrelevant. Without the Intelligence leads, this might have been the 8/10 to follow the 9/11. Of course, flawed security is better than no security. It keeps the average riffraff from jacking airplanes.
edited to remove extra lines at the end
Edited, Aug 11th 2006 at 6:09pm EDT by Reednut
Jawbox wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
I almost picture a Cold War scenario where the terrorists try to just bankrupt the aviation industry with increased (and increased again) security technology.
It'll be a race to see whether we run out of money before they run out of people willing to blow themselves up.
I don't know why they're so obsessed with one-upping their last attack anyway. Those large-scale undertakings are too complicated and therefore too easy to catch. They should instead conduct a thousand lesser attacks at malls and cafes and sh*t like that, just like they do in Iraq. That will make people think twice about going out and spending their filthy capitalist infidel money.
hold on a sec, I'm getting a call from the CIA...
I never understood why they bother with airplanes. The terrorists never seem to have a problem geting into the U.S. or in some cases finding someone here willing to try to blow up a plane for them so why don't they just save themselves a lot of hassle and blow up malls and such instead? Hell, if they want to cause panic and problems at airports why don't they just plant a bomb at an airport in an area before you get to the metal detectors? It's like they want to do it the hard way.
It'd sure be a helluva lot easier to just profile these sumbitches. You look like an A-rab? "Come over here, sir. We have a special room for your type. Please strip, and prepare for a massive dose of X-rays..."
Totem
Totem
Quote:
What we really need is for Samuel L. Jackson to ride shotgun as an air marshal on all flights in the US. That'd learn 'em.
Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction FTW
Quote:
It'd sure be a helluva lot easier to just profile these sumbitches. You look like an A-rab? "Come over here, sir. We have a special room for your type. Please strip, and prepare for a massive dose of X-rays..."
Just because you get beaten to a pulp twice weekly by Bubbah Ray and his seven cousins for being black and having a nice car, doesn't stop nice white boys from being terrorists too... Just ask the present encumberant of the whitehouse.
Sure, but the other 21 or so woulda been grabbed at the checkpoint. A few electric shocks to the groin later and-- BAM! They give up whitey.
Totem
Totem
Quote:
Sure, but the other 21 or so woulda been grabbed at the checkpoint. A few electric shocks to the groin later and-- BAM! They give up whitey.
Gitslayer wrote:
I never understood why they bother with airplanes.
Can you think of a more effective measure of getting someones attention than allegedly crashing planes in their buildings? I mean short of assassinating W, they reall did the best they could (and they know they'd have done us a favor had they done the latter).
But you're right. Now that they pulled off 9/11, everything else is small fry ***** ****. Can't really top the fourth of july fireworks on the third.
The Paskil of Doom wrote:
Can you think of a more effective measure of getting someones attention than allegedly crashing planes in their buildings?
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Quote:
Can you think of a more effective measure of getting someones attention than allegedly crashing planes in their buildings?
Blowing up churches, War memorials, crippling the interweb, nuclear power stations, hoover dam, Golden Gate bridge or other irreplacable transport network.
Throw in a 7/7 subway style attack on the same day as taking out all the major bridges in New York for sh*ts and giggles.
For the ultimate hit, take out the vatican, St Pauls and what ever the center of morman religion is on the same day.
effectively three seperate hits on the heart of the three major christain sects.
Shit. And today I just found out that I'm flying to Austin next month for training. 
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
Austin is the bomb, yo. I just found out I have to fly to Germany next month.
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then find someone that life has given vodka and have party.
This establishment does not serve women. You must bring your own.
This establishment does not serve women. You must bring your own.
The real question remains. Where was Nobby throughout all of this? 
Interesting.
Interesting.naked flights = getting arrested for beating off to the broad in front of me
im a pervert
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