*** And he watches in amusement at the circus clowns and misguided attendants as they continue to volley for the betterment of a Forum. ***
I hear there's a 2 for 1 "life" sale at the local Wal Mart.
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Professor CrescentFresh wrote:
Quote:
From: TheLastDisciple [ Add to Address Book | Add to Ignore List ]
To: CrescentFresh
Sent: Aug 11, 2006 @ 3:51 PM CST
Read: Aug 11, 2006 @ 3:55 PM CST
Subject: Just a guess..
Message Body: [ Reply | Forward ]
I wish everyone could know the pain I live with every day of my miserable life. Alas no, statistics tells me that only 1 in every 30,000 adult males has a ***** less than 4 inches long and 2 inches around. Only they, my wee weinied brethren can even begin to understand the hurt I feel when I step up to a urinal and the stream of urine is only slightly smaller than the 3.28 inch long, 1.67 inch wide ****** that it springs from.
I have tried pumps, creams, exercises, pulling and god forbid; even praying. Nothing works, not even marginally on my miniscule member. So, everyday I try to lie to the world about possessing a petite ****** by peeling out in my Corvette, strutting around in expensive suits, talking about my mansion, dating strippers to show the world my virility and constantly crowing about my colossal crotch.
But my Armani suits are just expensive costumes to hide my teeny-tiny tallywacker. My gigantic house is where I sit alone with my dwarf johnson. And the truth is the only thing I can stretch when it comes to my freakishly feeble frankfurter. Day in and day out I used to ask myself, "TheLastDisciple what would jesus do with a small *****?"
After hours of reading the bible, searching my soul and peering at my puny prick, I know now that there is no savior, at least not for my snack sized sex stub.
TheLastDisciple
P.S. Let my parents know that if I had gotten that pony I wanted when I was 8 this probably wouldn't have happened.
To: CrescentFresh
Sent: Aug 11, 2006 @ 3:51 PM CST
Read: Aug 11, 2006 @ 3:55 PM CST
Subject: Just a guess..
Message Body: [ Reply | Forward ]
I wish everyone could know the pain I live with every day of my miserable life. Alas no, statistics tells me that only 1 in every 30,000 adult males has a ***** less than 4 inches long and 2 inches around. Only they, my wee weinied brethren can even begin to understand the hurt I feel when I step up to a urinal and the stream of urine is only slightly smaller than the 3.28 inch long, 1.67 inch wide ****** that it springs from.
I have tried pumps, creams, exercises, pulling and god forbid; even praying. Nothing works, not even marginally on my miniscule member. So, everyday I try to lie to the world about possessing a petite ****** by peeling out in my Corvette, strutting around in expensive suits, talking about my mansion, dating strippers to show the world my virility and constantly crowing about my colossal crotch.
But my Armani suits are just expensive costumes to hide my teeny-tiny tallywacker. My gigantic house is where I sit alone with my dwarf johnson. And the truth is the only thing I can stretch when it comes to my freakishly feeble frankfurter. Day in and day out I used to ask myself, "TheLastDisciple what would jesus do with a small *****?"
After hours of reading the bible, searching my soul and peering at my puny prick, I know now that there is no savior, at least not for my snack sized sex stub.
TheLastDisciple
P.S. Let my parents know that if I had gotten that pony I wanted when I was 8 this probably wouldn't have happened.
What the fuck? Is this a suicide note?
Sounds like Bhodi. He's got a thing for small dIcks.
Playdoh actually is quite fun.
So is glitter.
I'd forgotten these things.
So is glitter.
I'd forgotten these things.
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
Joph wrote:
It was funny when Jawbox played along, but I knew someone would be all "OMG I know the secret!!!"
And here I though all of you were using it.
Pardon the fuck out me.
Edited, Aug 11th 2006 at 5:13pm EDT by Kaelesh
Kaelesh the Puissant wrote:
And here I though all of you were using it.
Pardon the fuck out me.
What? The same moist towelette?
Sadly, I don't think the OP was.
My second 'complaint' was frighteningly on topic though.
Edited, Aug 11th 2006 at 5:20pm EDT by Jophiel
My second 'complaint' was frighteningly on topic though.
Edited, Aug 11th 2006 at 5:20pm EDT by Jophiel
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Jophiel wrote:
My second 'complaint' was frighteningly on topic though.
Sadly, yes.
I was about to let loose a 10-paragraph response to Taco before Kaelesh ruined it. 
And there you have it-- another one post wonder shot down in flames. Remember, boys and girls, there is no shortcut to getting invited into our exclusive club. The beady eyes of the Asylum watch all, see all, and know all. Besides, everybody can smell that FFXI stink emanating through your teenager pores. It's a dead give-away.
Totem
Totem
Jawbox wrote:
I was about to let loose a 10-paragraph response to Taco before Kaelesh ruined it.
I am such a bastard.
But I live in Iowa, so I think that's punishment enough. I'll make sure my baby-eating, sexpot flogs me with her bottle for ruining the Joph/Jbox good time funnies.
Kaelesh the Puissant wrote:
Jesus H Christ! I hate you for that. And I hate myself for the mental lapse that made me click it.
Eske wrote:
Kaelesh the Puissant wrote:
Jesus H Christ! I hate you for that. And I hate myself for the mental lapse that made me click it.
Take it like a (wo?)man!
I ate a babeh!
Anyone else thinking of "Fat *******" from the Austin Powers movies?
Do I make you horny baby? Do I?
Anyone else thinking of "Fat *******" from the Austin Powers movies?
Do I make you horny baby? Do I?
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
I pictured Nobs doing that to Darkflame, only with the bottle reversed. Well, not so much imagined that, as described it after thinking abou... err nevermind.
Totem
Totem
King Nobby wrote:
I ate a babeh!
Anyone else thinking of "Fat *******" from the Austin Powers movies?
Do I make you randy baby? Do I?
Anyone else thinking of "Fat *******" from the Austin Powers movies?
Do I make you randy baby? Do I?
FTFY.
Hmm...do you brits actually say that?
NephthysWanderer the Charming wrote:
The genius of the Asylum is that they don't need to do any of the above to make you look like a dumbass.
Trying too hard is more embarassing that not trying at all imo. But....
meh.
Trying too hard is more embarassing that not trying at all imo. But....
meh.
you almost tried too hard.. I caught ya
Quote:
A lot of work went into some of those posts, but I bet less than 2 percent of the population of this forum will actually read every word of them.
Lets keep it to factoids people!
Lets keep it to factoids people!
Quote:
Hmm...do you brits actually say that?
Edited, Aug 11th 2006 at 5:53pm EDT by tarv
Quote:
I was about to let loose a 10-paragraph response to Taco before Kaelesh ruined it
Had it been addressed at me, I would have painstakingly refuted its contents and made you look like a jackass in the process.
I have skillz when it comes to that kinda thing.
I voted for the other guy.
Seriously, Have I mentioned lately that suckpoppits **** me off?
Edited, Aug 11th 2006 at 9:17pm EDT by Kaolian
Edited, Aug 11th 2006 at 9:17pm EDT by Kaolian
Arch Duke Kaolian Drachensborn, lvl 95 Ranger, Unrest Server
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I don't get it, why would you make a sock when you're already anonymous?
Welcome, TheLast, you'll fit right in.
Edited, Aug 19th at 3:14 EDT by God
ps - Kao - any way to put the Edited by under the line of dashes to preserve it's integrity?
Edited, Aug 19th at 3:14 EDT by God
ps - Kao - any way to put the Edited by under the line of dashes to preserve it's integrity?
yossarian wrote:
Welcome, TheLast, you'll fit right in.
Edited, Aug 19th at 3:14 EDT by God
ps - Kao - any way to put the Edited by under the line of dashes to preserve it's integrity?
Edited, Aug 19th at 3:14 EDT by God
ps - Kao - any way to put the Edited by under the line of dashes to preserve it's integrity?
Psst, yossarian! When posting a fake edit it helps if the time you use roughly matches the time of the post. Unless of course you are trying to say you edited your post nearly 3 hours later. Then it's ok ya know.
The Glorious Atomicflea wrote:
Man, I had some good lasagna for lunch today. It's almost quieted the giant tummy-monster of mine that craves noodles.
/glow
/glow
Since Joph Jr. is taken, what then? Or is it a, um, Flea Jr.?
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
The Glorious Atomicflea wrote:
Man, I had some good lasagna for lunch today. It's almost quieted the giant tummy-monster of mine that craves noodles.
/glow
Edited, Aug 11th 2006 at 4:53pm EDT by Atomicflea
/glow
Edited, Aug 11th 2006 at 4:53pm EDT by Atomicflea
So, is my hint-ometer off, or are you preggers? Or is it just a stomache parasite? I hear those make excellent pets!
Arch Duke Kaolian Drachensborn, lvl 95 Ranger, Unrest Server
Tech support forum | FAQ (Support) | Mobile Zam: http://m.zam.com (Premium only)
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Pfft. Catch up, son!
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
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