Why toilets are like the internetFollow

I work in a governement department. It's a nice respectable place, most people here are friendly, serious, over 25, and respectable.

And yet, the toilets are fucking disgusting. People **** with the toilet seat down, and somehow manage to spray half of it on said-seat. Either that, or they make poo bas-reliefs on the floor with last night's curry. Half the time, the toilets are not flushed, and there's poo and **** and paper everywhere. It is fucking awful, and sometimes I'd rather just shit on the pavement.

The worst is that everyone complains about this situation. And yet, it's the same people that do it (except me, of course). So those dumb-asses that enjoy "creative poo-ing" are in fact punishing themselves.

So why do they do it?

Is it because, just like on the internet, you can never tell whose poo it is? Since you do it anonymously, why bother? I'm sure these people wouldn't crap everywhere at home. So it must be the same reason as why people are so rude and nasty on the internet. Anonymity.

From now on, I'm having my ***** in the girl's toilets.

Edited, Aug 2nd 2006 at 10:00am EDT by RedPhoenixxxxxx

And did you come up with any solution?

Are the girls toilet any better?

Not sure a sign will help much against this passive-aggressive anonymous sociopathic behavior.

Meh. Pavement it is, then.

sometimes I think that girl toilets are worse off then mens. Not only do you have to deal with the same shit ( har har) but then you have to deal with women clogging the toilets with sanitary napkins, or just wrapping them in toilet paper ( if you;re lucky) and depositing them on the floor. They seem to forget there are special little trash bins for these.


Another thing I dont get on a womans point of view: why the hell does the average woman take so freaking long to use the bathroom???? Unless you are seriously constipated, it should not take you 10 minutes to use a stall. Im quick. Im in and out, do my business, wash my hands and Im out of there in 2 minutes. Cmon femmes. Your pants buttons do not take 3 minutes to undo and redo unless you are a size 12 trying to fit in to a size 8. And if you are doing that, they dont look good. Trust me

Thing about our bathrooms at work are they are 2 stalls crammed in to a tiny space. We have one indvidual here who, when he goes to take a ****, likes to sit and bask in his own glory and renders the entire room unusable unless you have a hazmat suit on. No courtesy flush or anything. And if he even does flush it usually just clogs the toilet. If you are unlucky enough to be in one stall when he comes in to use the other, you are treated to sounds of grunting, explosions of various kinds, and other disgusting things I won't mention.

The other gents on my floor and I have set up a PFN (pooping friends network) to alert each other when said savage has defiled our restroom.

The most baffling of all is when there is urine on top of the urinal. Seriously

You and I have talked about this before. You are the only other chick I know that is, like me, lightning quick in the ladies'. There are other women waiting, goddamnit! Women that have to go.

Part of the problem is women's anatomy. Unlike a man's d1ck, which causes urine to be directed in a stream, the female urethra makes for more of a spraying action which is made even more messy by the fact that the vast majority of chicks "hover" over the toilet. Thus the urine is veritably atomized in a territory marking spray. Combine such water sports with a menstrual cycle and most women's bathrooms begin to look like an abattoir.

Totem

that still doesnt explain though why the majority of women take just as long to pee as they do to give birth. :/

Would you like it if I did?

By the way, ladies, for those of you who have had children it's not too late to begin strenghtening your Kegels. Seriously. It'll help you from becoming incontinate as you grow older. How many of you have mothers or aunts who make a mad dash for the bathroom when they have a good laugh? Or suffer from poor bladder control during scary parts of movies and rush off to the bathroom after the monster bursts out from behind and attacks the hero?

FleaJo1, it also has the beneficial effect of keeping FleaJo2 entranced with your amazing snapper, year after year, even after a shiney new Peruvian model sashays by your man on the Miracle Mile. Just a little friendly pre-marital advice from Doc "Totem" Johnson. (And that'd be pronounced Joan-sun, btw)

Totem

QFT. Kegel excersises are very important, not to mention fun when you're getting it on ;). When I was pregnant with lil one #1 I was told to do these as often as possible and I will admit they do help strengthen those muscle for afterwards. Not to mention they can really add to the feeling of intercourse ;)