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What happens after you die (or when you're nearly dead)Follow
Right now everything goes to my mother and sister, although I suppose this would be altered if I have kids or marry.
The husband and I have a revocable trust (living trust); the pourover wills; Durable Powers of Attorney; and Advance Health Care Directives. We have the Guardians for our kids and the executors nominated in the wills, the successor trustees nominated in the trust.
I have it all in one nice little 3 ring binder for my husband in case something happens to me. A copy has also been given to my folks. I have it labeled "IF I DIE, YOU NEED TO OPEN THIS." It has a little To-Do list of who to call (insurance, the mortuary, specific family and friends, etc.) and what to do (flowers, longs, Catholic service, etc.). I even tucked in the binder a goodbye letter to my husband and a letter to each of the kids.
I put it all down so my husband would be as prepared as possible. The last loving thing I want to leave my husband if I die before him is that I took care of all the details as much as possible not because I want to be controlling, but I love him too much to have him agonize over my funeral details.
I have it all in one nice little 3 ring binder for my husband in case something happens to me. A copy has also been given to my folks. I have it labeled "IF I DIE, YOU NEED TO OPEN THIS." It has a little To-Do list of who to call (insurance, the mortuary, specific family and friends, etc.) and what to do (flowers, longs, Catholic service, etc.). I even tucked in the binder a goodbye letter to my husband and a letter to each of the kids.
I put it all down so my husband would be as prepared as possible. The last loving thing I want to leave my husband if I die before him is that I took care of all the details as much as possible not because I want to be controlling, but I love him too much to have him agonize over my funeral details.
My husband and I both have wills. He left everything to me, and I left everything to him except for my jewelry which I left to my goddaughter. Boring, straightforward kind of wills.
We have had this discussion several times about what if, particularly concerning his life insurance policy. He asked if I would take a chunk of it and help his brother go to college. Beyond that, he just wants me to continue to go to college and finish law school whether he is here or not. The army life insurance and notification information is really pretty morbid, for instance, he had to list where his remains would go. He wants them sent to his father in PA so that I "don't have to deal with that," but since I would get the life insurance and the death benefit, I need to pay for the funeral. He doesn't care whether he would be buried in PA or MS, so I would probably bury him in PA with his family.
I haven't thought about my own life insurance policy as much because no one is shooting at me in a strange desert currently. I just hope he would get out of debt with it and go to college. And cremate me. ***** burial.
Thumbelyna Quick Hands wrote:
The husband and I have a revocable trust (living trust); the pourover wills; Durable Powers of Attorney; and Advance Health Care Directives. We have the Guardians for our kids and the executors nominated in the wills, the successor trustees nominated in the trust.
I have it all in one nice little 3 ring binder for my husband in case something happens to me. A copy has also been given to my folks. I have it labeled "IF I DIE, YOU NEED TO OPEN THIS." It has a little To-Do list of who to call (insurance, the mortuary, specific family and friends, etc.) and what to do (flowers, longs, Catholic service, etc.). I even tucked in the binder a goodbye letter to my husband and a letter to each of the kids.
I put it all down so my husband would be as prepared as possible. The last loving thing I want to leave my husband if I die before him is that I took care of all the details as much as possible not because I want to be controlling, but I love him too much to have him agonize over my funeral details.
I have it all in one nice little 3 ring binder for my husband in case something happens to me. A copy has also been given to my folks. I have it labeled "IF I DIE, YOU NEED TO OPEN THIS." It has a little To-Do list of who to call (insurance, the mortuary, specific family and friends, etc.) and what to do (flowers, longs, Catholic service, etc.). I even tucked in the binder a goodbye letter to my husband and a letter to each of the kids.
I put it all down so my husband would be as prepared as possible. The last loving thing I want to leave my husband if I die before him is that I took care of all the details as much as possible not because I want to be controlling, but I love him too much to have him agonize over my funeral details.
Well thanks for making me feel like a selfish lazy ****.
Thumbelyna Quick Hands wrote:
The last loving thing I want to leave my husband if I die before him is that I took care of all the details as much as possible not because I want to be controlling, but I love him too much to have him agonize over my funeral details.
The Glorious Atomicflea wrote:
Thumbelyna Quick Hands wrote:
The last loving thing I want to leave my husband if I die before him is that I took care of all the details as much as possible not because I want to be controlling, but I love him too much to have him agonize over my funeral details.
My husband had an absolute nightmare of dealing with his first wife's funeral that I wanted to make sure it was as smooth as possible. Oh and in the binder, I also have every bank account and investment listed with instructions on what he needs to do with our trust too on those assets (take my name off as trustee, etc.).
Thumbelyna Quick Hands wrote:
My husband had an absolute nightmare of dealing with his first wife's funeral that I wanted to make sure it was as smooth as possible. Didn't make as much on the insurance policy as he thought, eh?
When you're gonna kill your spouse, you need to think these things through!
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
Nice work Thumbelyna.
I've actually been thinking about this a lot this last week, due to a recent loss. I had pretty much the same idea, to have an envelope or binder that would be one of the first things the family finds when they start digging through my stuff that would have everything they need to know in it. One decision I still have to make is what to do with my cold, dead body. I already have a plot at a cemetary back in Montana, where I can be planted next to my step-dad and mother. But, to tell the truth, that cemetary isn't very nice and I really don't care what happens to my body. Hauling it back 800 miles for a burial would be kind of a pain.
I've also considered starting a journal, so that when I kick the bucket the family will have a bit more insight into exactly how morbid and twisted I am. The reason for this is that my Mother died whan I was very young and I only have a few memories of her. A couple years ago my Grandmother gave me my ma's old bible along with some poetry and a couple letters she wrote to various people but never got around to mailing. It wasn't much but it did give me a peak into her personality a bit more than what I knew.
My problem is the follow through. I'll get started on something like that and then lose interest until the next funeral I have to go to.
I've actually been thinking about this a lot this last week, due to a recent loss. I had pretty much the same idea, to have an envelope or binder that would be one of the first things the family finds when they start digging through my stuff that would have everything they need to know in it. One decision I still have to make is what to do with my cold, dead body. I already have a plot at a cemetary back in Montana, where I can be planted next to my step-dad and mother. But, to tell the truth, that cemetary isn't very nice and I really don't care what happens to my body. Hauling it back 800 miles for a burial would be kind of a pain.
I've also considered starting a journal, so that when I kick the bucket the family will have a bit more insight into exactly how morbid and twisted I am. The reason for this is that my Mother died whan I was very young and I only have a few memories of her. A couple years ago my Grandmother gave me my ma's old bible along with some poetry and a couple letters she wrote to various people but never got around to mailing. It wasn't much but it did give me a peak into her personality a bit more than what I knew.
My problem is the follow through. I'll get started on something like that and then lose interest until the next funeral I have to go to.
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Thumbelyna Quick Hands wrote:
Oh and in the binder, I also have every bank account and investment listed with instructions on what he needs to do with our trust too on those assets (take my name off as trustee, etc.).
Not to mention the hooker to come over and give him oral to lift his spirits.
Dude, it's like you don't even care.
Kakar wrote:
one of the first things the family finds when they start digging through my stuff
That brings up another interesting consideration when planning your post-death.
Inevitably someone very close to you will root through all your stuff to either hand it out or toss it away. Now, perhaps you're a good clean God-loving Christian with all your bills paid and debts settled. Or perhaps you're downright proud of your massive 20GB collection of Asian school-girl tentacle-rape Anime clips. But if not, are all your dirty little secrets buried where no one will ever find them if you should kick the bucket on the way home from work today? Have you ever thought about what you'll be leaving behind that you'd rather not anyone see or know about? Especially close family!
Jawbox wrote:
Inevitably someone very close to you will root through all your stuff to either hand it out or toss it away. Now, perhaps you're a good clean God-loving Christian with all your bills paid and debts settled. Or perhaps you're downright proud of your massive 20GB collection of Asian school-girl tentacle-rape Anime clips. But if not, are all your dirty little secrets buried where no one will ever find them if you should kick the bucket on the way home from work today? Have you ever thought about what you'll be leaving behind that you'd rather not anyone see or know about? Especially close family!
That actually reminds me of a couple of stories of some clients. But I remember one very well-off client who died and he had a key to a safety deposit box. Wife didn't know what it was for so the lawyers and the wife went down to the bank to open up the box. Found over half a million in cash in the box. They were just stunned.
Another time, a guy came to the office after both his parents passed away. His parents didn't do anything and didn't tell him anything so he was figuring it was just the cars and the house that he would be dealing with. After digging through everything, he found that his parents made some pretty extensive investments in AT&T (before the Baby Bell splits), Microsoft (BEFORE the IPO happened) and some other blue-chip stocks. He ended up having to pay some serious estate taxes because the estate was way bigger than anyone ever thought, but he still had a nice chunk of cash after it was all said and done.
But I have had clients (the wives) that call the office (we're a law firm) just minutes after their husband has passed away. They're from the old-school traditional marriages where the husband took care of everything and these wives have no idea what to do. Some have never even written a check in their life. And I have seen them go into absolute panic mode.
But because of the horror stories I've seen, I made up my little 3 ring binder.
Jawbox wrote:
But if not, are all your dirty little secrets buried where no one will ever find them if you should kick the bucket on the way home from work today? Have you ever thought about what you'll be leaving behind that you'd rather not anyone see or know about? Especially close family!
Yes. But after a while of thinking about it I realized something. In that situation I'm dead, so fuck it. It's not like I got dead body parts in jars of phamaldahyde stashed away in my closet. Yeah, they'll probably find some **** and maybe a few other things that might be somewhat embarassing, but who cares? In fact, I'm thinking of planting a few items for just such an event. Make em wonder a bit while they argue over my collected clips from Japanese school girl web sites.
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
I've already asked my hubby to have me cremated and sprinkle my ashes in the woods somewhere.
For those of you with kids, do them a favor and don't simply make out a will. Designate whatever stuff you want them to have as well, and put it in writing!
Neither of my parents made out a will and the financial end of things was the least ambiguous aspect of the situation. Now I know most of you won't have 9 children to divide your goods amongst, but people can get more than a little weird when it comes to dividing up (or disposing of) the posessions of a loved relative. My siblings and I did fine, but serious rifts were created in my mother's family when her father died.
Elderon, I'm definately coming to your funeral. That's one internment I want to see!
For those of you with kids, do them a favor and don't simply make out a will. Designate whatever stuff you want them to have as well, and put it in writing!
Neither of my parents made out a will and the financial end of things was the least ambiguous aspect of the situation. Now I know most of you won't have 9 children to divide your goods amongst, but people can get more than a little weird when it comes to dividing up (or disposing of) the posessions of a loved relative. My siblings and I did fine, but serious rifts were created in my mother's family when her father died.
Elderon, I'm definately coming to your funeral. That's one internment I want to see!
Quote:
My siblings and I did fine, but serious rifts were created in my mother's family when her father died.
For some reason this reminds me of my friend's 85-year-old grandmother (mother's side) asking his 90-year-old grandmother (father's side), "When you pass on, will you leave me this lamp? I've always admired it so."
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Sami, you're on the right track!
Yanari wrote:
For those of you with kids, do them a favor and don't simply make out a will. Designate whatever stuff you want them to have as well, and put it in writing!
Or give the stuff to the people you want it to go to yourself, if your end is somewhat foreseeable.
This is what my husband's 85-year-old grandmother has been doing. The first time I met her at a Thanksgiving dinner she was hosting, one of the first things I said was that I admired her China (Booth's Real Old Willow, circa 1920) which pretty much won me her immediate love.
Then a few years ago, she decided that she was really no longer capable of functioning unassisted and would soon be moving into an apartment in an assisted living facility. Part of the moving process was to talk it over with her children and find out which of her possessions they wanted for themselves. Rather than have them negotiate or god-forbid squabble over it once she was gone, she wanted to give it to them herself. Or, in her exact words, "do your giving while you're living, then you'll know where it goes." One thing none of them requested, however, was the china, because by this point of course, they were all in their 50s and 60s and well established with their own china collections and whatnot.
My husband and I, on the other hand, had just started our household and so she decided she wanted me to have the china. The first thing I did with it was host a thanksgiving dinner at which she was the guest of honor and could see it in use.
Edited, Jul 27th 2006 at 9:12pm EDT by Ambrya
40 posts
This thread has officially made my workday not suck.
I have LoL'ed loudly a few times, sprayed water from my nose, and had to clutch my sides in an attempt to prevent splitting at the seams.
Here are my plans, in case anyone cares.
1) Be cut in half. Knife, saw, chisel, I won't care.
2) Have lower half of body cremated and have brother save ashes.
3) Have upper half of body placed in a midget-sized coffin (I'm 6 ft. tall, when whole)
4) Have cake baked. Substitute ashes from step 2 for flour.
5) Have brother rig coffin with spring-loaded door and lift.
6) Have funeral. Have brother serve cake from step 4.
7) After a set timer pops on coffin, my head and torso (possibly mummified!?) will be launched into the room while a laughtrack plays from a stereo system.
8) Have EMS on standby for freshly heart-attacked/stroked/shocked family members.
9) Brother tells friends and family from step 8 that my ashes were in the cake.
10) Leave everything to my dog. Enjoy knowing that massive legal battle will ensue, and that Fido will not go without attention.
11) Arrive in hell for deeds commited post mortem.
I have LoL'ed loudly a few times, sprayed water from my nose, and had to clutch my sides in an attempt to prevent splitting at the seams.
Here are my plans, in case anyone cares.
1) Be cut in half. Knife, saw, chisel, I won't care.
2) Have lower half of body cremated and have brother save ashes.
3) Have upper half of body placed in a midget-sized coffin (I'm 6 ft. tall, when whole)
4) Have cake baked. Substitute ashes from step 2 for flour.
5) Have brother rig coffin with spring-loaded door and lift.
6) Have funeral. Have brother serve cake from step 4.
7) After a set timer pops on coffin, my head and torso (possibly mummified!?) will be launched into the room while a laughtrack plays from a stereo system.
8) Have EMS on standby for freshly heart-attacked/stroked/shocked family members.
9) Brother tells friends and family from step 8 that my ashes were in the cake.
10) Leave everything to my dog. Enjoy knowing that massive legal battle will ensue, and that Fido will not go without attention.
11) Arrive in hell for deeds commited post mortem.
who wrote:
Here are my plans, in case anyone cares.
1) Be cut in half. Knife, saw, chisel, I won't care.
2) Have lower half of body cremated and have brother save ashes.
3) Have upper half of body placed in a midget-sized coffin (I'm 6 ft. tall, when whole)
4) Have cake baked. Substitute ashes from step 2 for flour.
5) Have brother rig coffin with spring-loaded door and lift.
6) Have funeral. Have brother serve cake from step 4.
7) After a set timer pops on coffin, my head and torso (possibly mummified!?) will be launched into the room while a laughtrack plays from a stereo system.
8) Have EMS on standby for freshly heart-attacked/stroked/shocked family members.
9) Brother tells friends and family from step 8 that my ashes were in the cake.
10) Leave everything to my dog. Enjoy knowing that massive legal battle will ensue, and that Fido will not go without attention.
11) Arrive in hell for deeds commited post mortem.
1) Be cut in half. Knife, saw, chisel, I won't care.
2) Have lower half of body cremated and have brother save ashes.
3) Have upper half of body placed in a midget-sized coffin (I'm 6 ft. tall, when whole)
4) Have cake baked. Substitute ashes from step 2 for flour.
5) Have brother rig coffin with spring-loaded door and lift.
6) Have funeral. Have brother serve cake from step 4.
7) After a set timer pops on coffin, my head and torso (possibly mummified!?) will be launched into the room while a laughtrack plays from a stereo system.
8) Have EMS on standby for freshly heart-attacked/stroked/shocked family members.
9) Brother tells friends and family from step 8 that my ashes were in the cake.
10) Leave everything to my dog. Enjoy knowing that massive legal battle will ensue, and that Fido will not go without attention.
11) Arrive in hell for deeds commited post mortem.
Do not wait til death, have all that done to you right now. Then post here, or rather have your brother post here and let us know how it went.
40 posts
fhrugby the Sly wrote:
Do not wait til death, have all that done to you right now. Then post here, or rather have your brother post here and let us know how it went.
Nah, I'm still working on building up enough worldly posessions to make the legal battle worthwhile.
If you have any suggestions for completely ridiculous (but valuable) worldly posessions, I would like to hear them. The funnier the topic of the squabbling (say, a toilet paper manufacturing facility), the better.
If only it were that simple. The devil is in the details right?
10 posts
Well I think I'd like to have my body ground up and put into cans of spam. I don't know why, it just sounds fun, although I'd hate it if someone ate me before my funeral- even though the look on their face would be priceless when they found out they just ate their relative...
Yes I know I'm weird but I just love spam!
Edited, Jul 28th 2006 at 11:38pm EDT by Bigevildude
Yes I know I'm weird but I just love spam!
Edited, Jul 28th 2006 at 11:38pm EDT by Bigevildude
Bumping the thread to add some new and interesting ideas.
Hubby is in a band that is mainly horror genre, and they were invited to play at sme function/bbq this weekend for people who work in that niche of business ( I was told the guy who played Leatherface made awesome chili). One of the guys who was there works for a man by the name of Gunther Van Hagens. This is a man who started making art out of donated corpses and they are exhibited in museums. They are now being shown at the Boston Museum of Science. While hubby was at the bbq/function donor cards were handed out in case anyone wished to will their body to this guy and become a piece of art after they died.
I thought it was pretty interesting, but I'm still having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that these "sculptures" are actually real dead people. A little too freaky for my taste, but I figured some of you might be down with this kind of fame.
Hubby is in a band that is mainly horror genre, and they were invited to play at sme function/bbq this weekend for people who work in that niche of business ( I was told the guy who played Leatherface made awesome chili). One of the guys who was there works for a man by the name of Gunther Van Hagens. This is a man who started making art out of donated corpses and they are exhibited in museums. They are now being shown at the Boston Museum of Science. While hubby was at the bbq/function donor cards were handed out in case anyone wished to will their body to this guy and become a piece of art after they died.
I thought it was pretty interesting, but I'm still having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that these "sculptures" are actually real dead people. A little too freaky for my taste, but I figured some of you might be down with this kind of fame.
Please invite me to the opening of the Sickabilly Corpse Art Show. Might be too morbid for you, but might be right up his alley!
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