No, this isn't about the afterlife.
I was curious if any of you have thought about or planned for what happens upon your death. Do you have a Last Will and Testament drawn up for example? Does anyone know how your money and possessions should be distributed? What do you want done with your body? Do you want a large or small funeral, or no funeral at all? Do you want people to weep and cry and mourn, or do you want them to party and celebrate your life?
How about a Living Will? Have you informed someone of your wishes if you should someday end up braindead in a coma?
When I die, first I want science and medicine to take whatever they can find useful out of my body. After that, my personal preference would be to toss me in a furnace and turn me to ash and sweep it into a dumpster. But I understand that people need some sort of connection to their loved ones after their gone, so if it would make my family happy to put my ashes in a jar on the mantle, fine by me. Heck, if it makes them even happier to put my dead body in a box that costs $15,000 only to bury that in the ground, then that's fine too. (I'd just recommend against it.)
And if I'm virtually dead, I'd want someone to pull the plug if there's almost no chance of me waking up. FUck the sanctity of life when it's costing thousands of dollars for machines to pump air and blood through my comatose body for decades.
- Forums
- Cross Site
- The Asylum
- What happens after you die (or when you're nearly dead)
What happens after you die (or when you're nearly dead)Follow
I need to get around to drawing up a will, come to think of it. As it stands, I'd have Jophiel Manor and its surrounding gardens fall into the hands of my loving and capable heir, Jophiel Jr. although he's young yet so there's always the risk of the evil chamberlain wresting control under the guise of sincere assistance to the young lord.
In this case, I guess the chamberlain is my cat.
I do have the lad listed as my beneficiary for my insurance policies but no will yet. Of course, if & when Mlle Flea and I get hitched, all bets would be off on anything I draw up now anyway. I'm listed under Illinois' organ donor program but that's really in the hands of my family (the choice, not the organs) more than me. They won't take my innards without family/spousal consent regardless of what my license says.
Regarding my burial arrangements, I hold to a previous post:
Edited, Jul 26th 2006 at 10:55am EDT by Jophiel
In this case, I guess the chamberlain is my cat.
I do have the lad listed as my beneficiary for my insurance policies but no will yet. Of course, if & when Mlle Flea and I get hitched, all bets would be off on anything I draw up now anyway. I'm listed under Illinois' organ donor program but that's really in the hands of my family (the choice, not the organs) more than me. They won't take my innards without family/spousal consent regardless of what my license says.
Regarding my burial arrangements, I hold to a previous post:
I once wrote:
I want to be laid in a massive marble tomb above ground. Carved with scenes of my life and statements in Latin proclaiming how amazing I was. It should be topped with an eight foot marble, gold and silver statue of an angel with gas jets for eyes that alight when people approach and calls out "Hark, Mourners and bow before this tomb! For you have come across the resting place of Jophiel, beloved among men! If such a man could be claimed by Death, cower before your own worthless mortality!" Old women should be paid to sit around my tomb and wail unceasingly day and night as they rend their garments and spread ashes over their tear-streaked faces.
Edited, Jul 26th 2006 at 10:55am EDT by Jophiel
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
I keep meaning to, but haven't. I will try to get on that just as soon as everything else in the world isn't on my plate, haha.
I don't want to be buried...take anything usable and then burn me up...preferably on a boat or some sort of large bonfire on top of a mountain. Chanting would be good...I'll leave money to hire extra mourners with good singing voices. I don't know about the headstone thing, I guess I don't care...whatever makes other people happy.
A living will would probably be a good idea...I actually have the paperwork around here somewhere.
Nexa
I don't want to be buried...take anything usable and then burn me up...preferably on a boat or some sort of large bonfire on top of a mountain. Chanting would be good...I'll leave money to hire extra mourners with good singing voices. I don't know about the headstone thing, I guess I don't care...whatever makes other people happy.
A living will would probably be a good idea...I actually have the paperwork around here somewhere.
Nexa
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.â€
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
I want to be buried with everything I own.
I mean -everything-. You can save space and just sit me in the driver seat of my car and consider it a caskett. Have me stuffed so that I'm contantly looking out the left window, smiling, and waving with my right hand while holding on to the steering wheel with my left.
That shouldn't be TOO spooky.
I mean -everything-. You can save space and just sit me in the driver seat of my car and consider it a caskett. Have me stuffed so that I'm contantly looking out the left window, smiling, and waving with my right hand while holding on to the steering wheel with my left.
That shouldn't be TOO spooky.No I haven't done any of that, and I really need to. Hell lately, I have problems deciding to wear panties or not. 
I want to be cremated and blown into Jeff Bridges' face. All my stuff goes to my girlfriend, then to the guys at the frathouse, then my brother.
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
I need to do my will as well. Ive started many times with the program you can buy for the PC, but never got around to having it notarized.
No cremation for me. Let me rot in a cherry wood casket with a giant tombstone there to declare my greatness. As for living will, unless Im pregnant and the unborn is unharmed, pull the plug.
Everything right now would go to my children and the rest of my family can GFT
No cremation for me. Let me rot in a cherry wood casket with a giant tombstone there to declare my greatness. As for living will, unless Im pregnant and the unborn is unharmed, pull the plug.
Everything right now would go to my children and the rest of my family can GFT
We should all get together and have a "Will" party and get this done.
You sure know how to entertain! 
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Jophiel wrote:
Coffee just flew out my nose! XD
And that didn't help me recover either...
Whew... Be careful what you read I say...
Now, on topic, ***** wills. I want my family to ***** at each other and fight over my estate (the whole 7k net worth of it ^^). It would be my last testament of how much a pain in the *** I can be.
Edited for my code writing stupidity.
Edited, Jul 26th 2006 at 11:46am EDT by MYteddy
Quote:
I want to be laid in a massive marble tomb above ground. Carved with scenes of my life and statements in Latin proclaiming how amazing I was. It should be topped with an eight foot marble, gold and silver statue of an angel with gas jets for eyes that alight when people approach and calls out "Hark, Mourners and bow before this tomb! For you have come across the resting place of Jophiel, beloved among men! If such a man could be claimed by Death, cower before your own worthless mortality!" Old women should be paid to sit around my tomb and wail unceasingly day and night as they rend their garments and spread ashes over their tear-streaked faces.
Coffee just flew out my nose! XD
Quote:
I mean -everything-. You can save space and just sit me in the driver seat of my car and consider it a caskett. Have me stuffed so that I'm contantly looking out the left window, smiling, and waving with my right hand while holding on to the steering wheel with my left.
That shouldn't be TOO spooky.
That shouldn't be TOO spooky.
And that didn't help me recover either...
Whew... Be careful what you read I say...
Now, on topic, ***** wills. I want my family to ***** at each other and fight over my estate (the whole 7k net worth of it ^^). It would be my last testament of how much a pain in the *** I can be.
Edited for my code writing stupidity.
Edited, Jul 26th 2006 at 11:46am EDT by MYteddy
No formal will, but my nephew is the beneficiary on all my insurance stuff right now. If he's a minor, which he'd better not be, then my brother would be the guardian and everything except the investments would be liquidated and dumped into trust. What happens to the investments at that point would probably depend on how well they're doing - I couldn't care any less.
The caveat, of course, is that they have to take on my menagerie in perpetuity. It's a sitcom waiting to happen!
The caveat, of course, is that they have to take on my menagerie in perpetuity. It's a sitcom waiting to happen!
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
First off, Jawbox, if this is your way of notifying us that you've recently found out that you'er dying, let me be the first to ask: can I have your stuff?
Hmm, a will you say? I find the concept anti-climactic. A little squabbling over the fruits of my lifetime o' labor seems justified and darned disrespectful to forego. These material possessions that I've worked so hard for ought to not just be given away to the slack-jawed fruits of my loins; they ought to be earned. I think a good courtroom fracas would allow my soul to rest easier as it would prove who is most wiley and cunning, and surely they deserve my stuff.
Now for the ritual performed upon my passing. I, like Nexa, would prefer a viking funeral. It would be great if maybe we could be burnt together. If not, I think I would prefer to be chopped up and preserved in little jars in my neighbor's fridge, as I'm almost certain he's a serial killer. To try and find out I've been leaving him children from around the 'hood on his doorstep, ringing the bell and scampering off into the bushes. He hasn't taken the bait yet, but he can only hold out for so long.
Edited, Jul 26th 2006 at 12:05pm EDT by Barkingturtle
Hmm, a will you say? I find the concept anti-climactic. A little squabbling over the fruits of my lifetime o' labor seems justified and darned disrespectful to forego. These material possessions that I've worked so hard for ought to not just be given away to the slack-jawed fruits of my loins; they ought to be earned. I think a good courtroom fracas would allow my soul to rest easier as it would prove who is most wiley and cunning, and surely they deserve my stuff.
Now for the ritual performed upon my passing. I, like Nexa, would prefer a viking funeral. It would be great if maybe we could be burnt together. If not, I think I would prefer to be chopped up and preserved in little jars in my neighbor's fridge, as I'm almost certain he's a serial killer. To try and find out I've been leaving him children from around the 'hood on his doorstep, ringing the bell and scampering off into the bushes. He hasn't taken the bait yet, but he can only hold out for so long.
Edited, Jul 26th 2006 at 12:05pm EDT by Barkingturtle
Barkingturtle wrote:
A little squabbling over the fruits of my lifetime o' labor seems justified and darned disrespectful to forego.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Jophiel wrote:
Barkingturtle wrote:
A little squabbling over the fruits of my lifetime o' labor seems justified and darned disrespectful to forego.
Only if I live to be curmudgeonly enough to pull off a Brewster's Millions kind of quality. It would help alot if my off-spring were to be a black man and had no clue I was white, for comedic value.
Edited, Jul 26th 2006 at 12:10pm EDT by Barkingturtle
Jophiel wrote:
Barkingturtle wrote:
A little squabbling over the fruits of my lifetime o' labor seems justified and darned disrespectful to forego.
Why not combine the best of both? Record a diabolically ambiguous will that first leaves everyone scratching their heads, then leaves them fighting over your masterfully convoluted meaning in decades of court proceedings!
Jawbox wrote:
Why not combine the best of both? Record a diabolically ambiguous will that first leaves everyone scratching their heads, then leaves them fighting over your masterfully convoluted meaning in decades of court proceedings!
A treasure map to the will, or some really difficult series of riddles would be best I think.
I think that if I have anything, my relatives should fight over it in a Tetris Attack elimination challenge. Winner takes all.
Nexa
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.â€
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
Samira wrote:
The caveat, of course, is that they have to take on my menagerie in perpetuity. It's a sitcom waiting to happen!
I guess I didn't realize you're a Trekkie. Is it a signed laserdisc edition or something?
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
Nexa wrote:
Jawbox wrote:
Why not combine the best of both? Record a diabolically ambiguous will that first leaves everyone scratching their heads, then leaves them fighting over your masterfully convoluted meaning in decades of court proceedings!
A treasure map to the will, or some really difficult series of riddles would be best I think.
I think that if I have anything, my relatives should fight over it in a Tetris Attack elimination challenge. Winner takes all.
Nexa
Like National Treasure, take 'em years to decipher!
Mr. Ambrya are actually plotting these details right now. We don't seem to have enough of a sense of urgency to get it done immediately, though, so we're still kinda just talking about talking about it. If Ambrya 2.0 goes into production, though, the whole issue will take on HUGE significance and we'll feel a lot more impetus to get to the lawyer's office and get it done.
If only one of us dies, it's easy--everything goes to the other.
If we both die and there is no Ambrya 2.0 to consider, our estate will be liquidated and the proceeds divided evenly between his parents/brother and my mother. The codicil to this, however, is that in my mother's case, they funds will go into a trust that pays a monthly stipend or something like that. Considering that when her husband died she blew through the $100K+ he left her in liquid assets in less than 6 months, was virtually penniless and had to take out a mortgage on the FULLY PAID-FOR house he ALSO left her, there's no way in hell she's getting a lump sum of anything I leave her.
If there is an Ambrya 2.0 to consider, everything will be liquidated and go into trust for her, maybe again paying a small monthly stipend to help pay for her upbringing. Right now we're leaning toward my little brother and his girlfriend as godparents should the need arise. Mr. Ambrya's parents are too old, my mother (who doesn't actually drink anymore) is STILL a drunk and can't even care for herself properly, three of the four kids my aunt and uncle managed to raise (including myself) have emotional issues and/or substance abuse history, my sister is too much of a flake, his brother and sister-in-law have a very unstable marriage with his brother prone to having affairs and his sister-in-law prone to drinking when he does. That leaves my little brother unless we're willing to start considering friends. He had a drinking problem in his late teens and early 20s, but he was mainly over that by the time he hit 22 and now looking 30 in the eye, he's got a stable job, seems to have most of his emotional crap together, and is in a long-term committed relationship with a woman who is just about the nicest person I have ever met in my entire life (and a teacher to boot!)
As for funeral arrangements, I'm in the "any organs someone can use, then use the rest for medical research, then cremate what's left over" category. I place absolutely no significance on what happens to this meat-shell once I'm done using it. Don't even keep the urn--dump the ashes off a cliff, plant a tree in my name or something, and move on. No way in hell I'm gonna occupy an overpriced 6x3x6 piece of real-estate for the next several hundred years, long past the time anyone who cares who I was has moved on.
If only one of us dies, it's easy--everything goes to the other.
If we both die and there is no Ambrya 2.0 to consider, our estate will be liquidated and the proceeds divided evenly between his parents/brother and my mother. The codicil to this, however, is that in my mother's case, they funds will go into a trust that pays a monthly stipend or something like that. Considering that when her husband died she blew through the $100K+ he left her in liquid assets in less than 6 months, was virtually penniless and had to take out a mortgage on the FULLY PAID-FOR house he ALSO left her, there's no way in hell she's getting a lump sum of anything I leave her.
If there is an Ambrya 2.0 to consider, everything will be liquidated and go into trust for her, maybe again paying a small monthly stipend to help pay for her upbringing. Right now we're leaning toward my little brother and his girlfriend as godparents should the need arise. Mr. Ambrya's parents are too old, my mother (who doesn't actually drink anymore) is STILL a drunk and can't even care for herself properly, three of the four kids my aunt and uncle managed to raise (including myself) have emotional issues and/or substance abuse history, my sister is too much of a flake, his brother and sister-in-law have a very unstable marriage with his brother prone to having affairs and his sister-in-law prone to drinking when he does. That leaves my little brother unless we're willing to start considering friends. He had a drinking problem in his late teens and early 20s, but he was mainly over that by the time he hit 22 and now looking 30 in the eye, he's got a stable job, seems to have most of his emotional crap together, and is in a long-term committed relationship with a woman who is just about the nicest person I have ever met in my entire life (and a teacher to boot!)
As for funeral arrangements, I'm in the "any organs someone can use, then use the rest for medical research, then cremate what's left over" category. I place absolutely no significance on what happens to this meat-shell once I'm done using it. Don't even keep the urn--dump the ashes off a cliff, plant a tree in my name or something, and move on. No way in hell I'm gonna occupy an overpriced 6x3x6 piece of real-estate for the next several hundred years, long past the time anyone who cares who I was has moved on.
Ambrya wrote:
Mr. Ambrya are actually plotting these details right now.
I don't doubt that he is.
Debalic wrote:
Samira wrote:
The caveat, of course, is that they have to take on my menagerie in perpetuity. It's a sitcom waiting to happen!
I guess I didn't realize you're a Trekkie. Is it a signed laserdisc edition or something?
I don't even know what this means. Did someone steal my idea before I was born, again?!?
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
#22REDACTED,
Posted: Jul 26 2006 at 12:07 PM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) I want to be dressed in a loincloth and thrown into a tar pit or thrown into a hole filled with fressh pine tree sap. That way when someone discovers my body 200 years from now, they will think they have found the missing link.
Hehe, Eld, I'm lol.
I ... I haven't put any thought into this. Like so many of my fellow Americans, I'm living in denial of my own mortality.
I ... I haven't put any thought into this. Like so many of my fellow Americans, I'm living in denial of my own mortality.
Samira wrote:
Debalic wrote:
Samira wrote:
The caveat, of course, is that they have to take on my menagerie in perpetuity. It's a sitcom waiting to happen!
I guess I didn't realize you're a Trekkie. Is it a signed laserdisc edition or something?
I don't even know what this means. Did someone steal my idea before I was born, again?!?
So you're not geek enough, huh? That's a shame.
The Menagerie was a two-part Star Trek episode from '66, which includes part of the original (un-aired) Star Trek pilot episode.
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
While watching a football game a couple months back, my girlfriend and I were discussing life and death.
I told her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
She promptly got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all my beer.
Some days I hate having a smart *** girlfriend.
I told her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
She promptly got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all my beer.
Some days I hate having a smart *** girlfriend.
No written will yet, but I've made my intentions clear with family.
Money goes to direct family, junk goes to the ex-wife.
If I die unexpectedly, I'm getting cremated and having someone sit my jar on the ground next to the biggest douglas fir they can find. Drop the tree on the jar and call it a tombstone. By the time the tree rots, I'll be forgotten anyway.
If it's going to be a slow death, I'm going out like a native. With a gunney sack full of herb and a long walk into the mountains.
Money goes to direct family, junk goes to the ex-wife.
If I die unexpectedly, I'm getting cremated and having someone sit my jar on the ground next to the biggest douglas fir they can find. Drop the tree on the jar and call it a tombstone. By the time the tree rots, I'll be forgotten anyway.
If it's going to be a slow death, I'm going out like a native. With a gunney sack full of herb and a long walk into the mountains.
Recent Visitors: 363
All times are in CST
Anonymous Guests (363)
- Forums
- Cross Site
- The Asylum
- What happens after you die (or when you're nearly dead)
© 2024 Fanbyte LLC