Nancy Grace...Follow

I had to quickly Google to see what the hell Grace was on about with the burqa. Apparently Smart's kidnapper dressed her in a burqa and a wig while she was being held captive. Huh.

Asking Smart how she saw out of a burqa in that context sounds like asking someone "So, how did the nylon ropes feel against your skin while tied to the chair? Did they leave burns or were they silky?"

What a tool.

She was most likely thinking "ratings ratings, gotta get ratings. gopssip gossip gossip. gossip gossip gossip. My career, please let this help my career"


and prolly not much else.

But, she was an undefeated prosecutor. Surely she has that as a backup plan!

Nancy Grace is a ***** Gaw I hate her. Ranks right up there with Bill O'Rielly and Greta Van Lesbian.

Things Elizabeth Smart could have
done to escape her captors.

For those of you who don't know who Elizabeth Smart is, I envy your ignorance. She's the 14 year old: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/smart_ns1.jpg

Who was stolen by this guy: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/mitchell4.jpg



The nut job who kidnapped her calls himself "Emmanuel," and I have to give him credit because Emmanuel is a much more compelling name for a cult leader than "Brian." After he became a suspect, his stepson was quoted as saying "Emmanuel is capable of kidnapping a child."

This begs the question: who isn't capable of kidnapping a child? I mean, how much effort could it take? Kids are stupid, just look at how many of them die in fires every year. Who the hell dies in a fire? How fast does the flame move anyway? Every time I burn my brother's toys, it takes an eternity for the flames to spread. A common house fire spreads about half a mile per hour. Oh no, a fire? Jump through the flames you *****. If you don't make it everyone's going to think you're a dumbass anyway, so you might as well try. Besides, think how cool it would be if you ran out of the building screaming while you were on fire. Holy **** that would rule, chicks would be humping you left and right (assuming the burns don't scar your junk).

When Elizabeth Smart was finally "freed," her father appeared on TV giving one blubbering speech after another saying "I don't know what she's gone through and I'm sure she's been through hell." I don't think he was referring to the pictures of Elizabeth hanging out at parties circulating on the Internet, the video of her having a picnic at a park, or the hippy drum circle she was spotted at when he referred to "hell."

So to help other children in the future, I've put together a list of things Elizabeth could have done to escape her captors:

1. Walked away.
It turns out that Elizabeth was held at knife-point and was as close as 10 minutes away from her home at times throughout her 9-month ordeal. Here's an idea: walk home. Or if you're a gimp, change "walk" to "hobble" and the same rules apply.

2. Don't use wigs, sunglasses, and phony accents.
If you're trying to break free, cut the ******** and remove the disguise when you're in public. If your captor walks away from you at a party and starts drinking beer, it's a pretty safe bet he's not a prophet. What are you clinging onto?

3. Don't hang out at parties.
It kind of blows the credibility of the whole kidnapping story if you're seen at a party. Next thing you know you have to make up some crazy **** about being brainwashed.

4. Anything.
Almost a year before Elizabeth Smart was found, there was a 7 year old girl named Erica Pratt who was kidnapped, bound with duct tape around her arms, legs and eyes, and left in the basement of a building.

To bad it wasn't his wisdom as that was copy & pasted verbatim.

My first thought when I think of Nancy. It's the unbending resolve she exhibits even when she is clueless, and the fact that I bet she makes some really inept obscene phone calls.

Aside from the problem I have with the concept of "hate crimes" in general, I really have a problem with holding up useful legislation via riders.

Assuming, of course, that this legislation would in fact be useful.

What the ****?

Go interview an Afghan woman if you're so interested.

What did she even expect as an answer to that question?

Smart: "Uh, I saw out through the little holes"

Grace: "Fascinating!"

Oh you're talking about THAT one? I hate her. When I was on the night shift down in houston we had CNN on in the background. She's worse then good ol anne "satin" coulter in my book.

You know what happened to the last person who made fun of my spelling?

We ate them.