The Boomer Bible wrote:
THE SECOND BOOK OF APES, CALLED
APES
CHAPTER 1
When he had come upon
the earth, the ape was
naked and afraid. For comfort he
picked up a stick, chewed the
end to a point, and stuck it in a
nearby living thing.
2 When the living thing died,
transfixed by the stick, the ape
ate of its flesh and soon con-
ceived a great hunger for
death of other living things.
3 Thereupon the ape made
many pointed sticks and stuck
them into great multitudes of
other living things, including,
on occasion, other apes.
CHAPTER 2
For seven times seven gener-
ations of their race, the apes
stuck pointed sticks into seven
times s4even generations of other
living things.
2 And there were seven times
seven kinds of apes, and of this
number there were brown apes,
and black apes,
3 And green apes, and red apes,
and white apes, and yellow apes.
4 And there were small apes,
and tall apes, and wide apes, and
narrow apes, and thin apes, and
fat apes,
5 And swift apes, and slow..
The apes do unto one another APES
Apes, and strong apes, and weak
apes, and clever apes, and dull apes.
6 And of this number, all were killer
apes.
CHAPTER 3
And when seven times seven
generations had passed, the
land fell barren and living things
of all kinds died in great num-
bers from thirst and hunger and
from pointed sticks.
2 And as the living things grew
scarce in number, the apes be-
came afraid.
3 For if all other kinds of living
things died, there would be noth-
ing left to kill,
4 Except the other apes, all of
whom were killer apes, well
armed with pointed sticks.
5 And so it happened that the
apes banded together, like to
like, to keep the other apes from
killing them.
6 Brown apes joined together
with brown apes, black apes
with black apes,
7 Green apes with green apes,
red apes with red apes, white
apes with white apes, yellow
apes with yellow apes,
8 And small apes with small
apes, tall apes with tall apes,
wide apes with wide apes, nar-
row apes with narrow apes,
9 And thin apes with thin apes,
fat apes with fat apes, swift apes
with swift apes, slow apes with
slow apes,
10 And strong apes with strong
apes, weak apes with weak apes,
cleaver apes with clever apes, and
dull apes with dull apes.
CHAPTER 4
Thereupon bands of apes
turned upon other bands of
apes and transfixed one other
with many thousands of pointed
sticks.
2 And brown apes killed black
apes, even unto extinction.
3 Red apes slew green apes,
leaving none alive,
4 And likewise white apes
slew yellow apes, and tall apes
slew small apes,
5 And wide apes slew narrow
apes, and thin apes slew fat
apes,
6 And slow apes slew swift
apes, and weak apes slew strong
apes,
7 And clever apes slew all the
dull apes, and then the strong
apes, and the swift apes, and
the tall apes, and the white apes,
and the red apes, and the brown
apes,
8 Until the clever apes were
all alone on the earth, with the
exception of the other living
things and many, many trees
that could be turned into pointed
sticks.
