Yes, this is a text based game!
Try typing /stand up or /get up
The secret is that you are lying down - and that's why you can't move around!
And yes, to start a fight, pee on the short man's shoes (/pee on Shadowrelm - that works best).
Don't do this while still lying down, or you choke on your own urine, and as a "death penalty" a virus takes over you CPU and causes you to email all your financial information to Nigeria, Russia and Bombay.
Good luck!