Mr. Thief.
Listen carefully! We are a group of individuals that represent
a small foreign faction. We respect your premium dues
but not the unicorn forum that it serves. At this time we have
your account in our posession. It is safe and unharmed and
if you want it to see 7k, you must follow our instructions to
the letter.
You will withdraw $118,000.00 from your account. $100,000 will be
in $100 bills and the remaining $18,000 in $20 bills. Make sure
that you bring an adequate size bag to the bank. When you get
home you will put the money in a brown paper bag. I will call you
between 8 and 10 am tomorrow to instruct you on delivery. The
delivery will be exhausting so I advise you to be rested. If we
monitor you getting the money early, we might call you early to
arrange an earlier delivery of the money and hence a earlier
pickup of your account.
Any deviation of my instructions will result in the immediate
sub-default of your account. You will also be denied the remains
for proper post count. The two gentlemen watching over your account
do not particularly like you so I advise you not to provoke them.
Speaking to anyone about your situation, such as Alla, Dana.,
etc., will result in your account being exterminated. If we catch you
talking to a stray sock, it drops below the filter. If you alert bank
authorities, it drops. If the money is in any way marked or tampered
with, it drops. You will be scanned for electronic devices and if any
are found, it drops. You can try to deceive us but be warned that we
are familiar with admin enforcement countermeasures and tactics. You
stand a 99% chance of losing your karma if you try to out smart us. Follow
our instructions and you stand a 100% chance of getting it back.
You and your unicorn buddies are under constant scrutiny as well as the
authorities. Don't try to grow a brain Sassy. You are not the only
dumb *** around so don't think that killing will be difficult. Don't
underestimate us Sassy. Use that good common sense of yours.
It is up to you now Sassy!
Victory!
Mental Frog