Da. Is poll. You fill out, or we releaze ze badgers no? You vill not like ze badgers. Zey are most ill mannered...
1. Through an unexpected database error, and while all staff is away on retreat for the weekend, you suddenly find yourself with forum Admin powers. What do you do?
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
5. What's my favorite color?
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
wheeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
- Forums
- Cross Site
- The Asylum
- It'sa Quizpoll?
It'sa Quizpoll?Follow
Arch Duke Kaolian Drachensborn, lvl 95 Ranger, Unrest Server
Tech support forum | FAQ (Support) | Mobile Zam: http://m.zam.com (Premium only)
Forum Rules
Tech support forum | FAQ (Support) | Mobile Zam: http://m.zam.com (Premium only)
Forum Rules
Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
Da. Is poll. You fill out, or we releaze ze badgers no? You vill not like ze badgers. Zey are most ill mannered...
1. Through an unexpected database error, and while all staff is away on retreat for the weekend, you suddenly find yourself with forum Admin powers. What do you do?
Take over the world, one wombat at a time.
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
I'd aim at the bottomless pit (Circa 1950's Flintstones). It would pass right through the earth!
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
What a waste of
! I'd eat it.
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
It would be the letter _. Opps, I already removed that one.
5. What's my favorite color?
Not sure, is that something like a coloUr?
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
42
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
Depends on what end you stick the pitch fork.
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
Not since one ran off with my aunt.
wheeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Through an unexpected database error, and while all staff is away on retreat for the weekend, you suddenly find yourself with forum Admin powers. What do you do?
Take over the world, one wombat at a time.
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
I'd aim at the bottomless pit (Circa 1950's Flintstones). It would pass right through the earth!
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
What a waste of
! I'd eat it. 4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
It would be the letter _. Opps, I already removed that one.
5. What's my favorite color?
Not sure, is that something like a coloUr?
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
42
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
Depends on what end you stick the pitch fork.
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
this part left intentionally blank wrote:
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
Not since one ran off with my aunt.
wheeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Dinner and a movie.
2. Los Angeles. We're better off without it and if I happen to miss I'll probably still hit something worth destroying.
3. Elderon
4. thequickredfoxjumpedoverthelazybrowndogs
5. 12
6. C
7. The fast kind.
8. <this answer intentionally left blank>
9. OMG n00b lern to spell!
Edited, Jun 27th 2006 at 12:26am EDT by CrescentFresh
2. Los Angeles. We're better off without it and if I happen to miss I'll probably still hit something worth destroying.
3. Elderon
4. thequickredfoxjumpedoverthelazybrowndogs
5. 12
6. C
7. The fast kind.
8. <this answer intentionally left blank>
9. OMG n00b lern to spell!
Edited, Jun 27th 2006 at 12:26am EDT by CrescentFresh
1. 
Wouldn't you like to know?
2. Seattle, Washington. Why there, you ask? I bet Kao knows...
3. Myself.
4. F10
5. A darker shade of purple.
6. Meh.
7. <insert katie joke here>
8. Yeah, it is.
9. As a side dish.
Edited, Jun 27th 2006 at 12:52am EDT by DodoBird
Wouldn't you like to know? 2. Seattle, Washington. Why there, you ask? I bet Kao knows...
3. Myself.
4. F10
5. A darker shade of purple.
6. Meh.
7. <insert katie joke here>
8. Yeah, it is.
9. As a side dish.
Edited, Jun 27th 2006 at 12:52am EDT by DodoBird
Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
Da. Is poll. You fill out, or we releaze ze badgers no? You vill not like ze badgers. Zey are most ill mannered...
1. Through an unexpected database error, and while all staff is away on retreat for the weekend, you suddenly find yourself with forum Admin powers. What do you do?
I'd weild the mighty Ban-stick, and bannanate have a dozen of the sub-default posters that just won't go away. I'd also bump a few people to Guru just because they have so many damn posts they'll never get there without help, and so I don't have to listen to them wine about it any more.
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
Canada. Just for Celine Dion.
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
Bodhi. He would get so worked up over the reason why as to provide enough Drama for 2 weeks of threads. What can I say? I'm a team player.
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
Q -- that damn thing is always looking at me funny.
5. What's my favorite color?
Metallic Pink
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
D-
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
Holstein
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
There's something to be said for consistancy
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
Not since that incident at the Drunken Monkey. I'll never drink Jaegermeister again.
Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
wheeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
Your Mother told you to stop touching yourself there.
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
1. I'd give myself my 6.3 back. Just to spite Danalog
6. I'd give Kakar an A, because He'd give me my 6.3 back, he would.
6. I'd give Kakar an A, because He'd give me my 6.3 back, he would.
Nicroll 65 Assassin
Teltorid 52 Druid
Aude Sapere
Oh hell camp me all you want f**kers. I own this site and thus I own you. - Allakhazam
Teltorid 52 Druid
Aude Sapere
Oh hell camp me all you want f**kers. I own this site and thus I own you. - Allakhazam
Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
Da. Is poll. You fill out, or we releaze ze badgers no? You vill not like ze badgers. Zey are most ill mannered...
1. Through an unexpected database error, and while all staff is away on retreat for the weekend, you suddenly find yourself with forum Admin powers. What do you do?
Take of my pants and starting locking posts. Just like Danalog.
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
South Dakota, because seriously, nothing pisses me off more that South Dakota.
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
Not Coaddddddyyy.
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
I've always hated the "x", so I guess it would have to go.
5. What's my favorite color?
Kick *** red
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
VG+
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
Netflix
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
JOHN, by the grace of God King of England, Lord of Ireland, Duke of Normandy and Aquitaine, and Count of Anjou, to his archbishops, bishops, abbots, earls, barons, justices, foresters, sheriffs, stewards, servants, and to all his officials and loyal subjects, Greeting.
KNOW THAT BEFORE GOD, for the health of our soul and those of our ancestors and heirs, to the honour of God, the exaltation of the holy Church, and the better ordering of our kingdom, at the advice of our reverend fathers Stephen, archbishop of Canterbury, primate of all England, and cardinal of the holy Roman Church, Henry archbishop of Dublin, William bishop of London, Peter bishop of Winchester, Jocelin bishop of Bath and Glastonbury, Hugh bishop of Lincoln, Walter Bishop of Worcester, William bishop of Coventry, Benedict bishop of Rochester, Master Pandulf subdeacon and member of the papal household, Brother Aymeric master of the knighthood of the Temple in England, William Marshal earl of Pembroke, William earl of Salisbury, William earl of Warren, William earl of Arundel, Alan de Galloway constable of Scotland, Warin Fitz Gerald, Peter Fitz Herbert, Hubert de Burgh seneschal of Poitou, Hugh de Neville, Matthew Fitz Herbert, Thomas Basset, Alan Basset, Philip Daubeny, Robert de Roppeley, John Marshal, John Fitz Hugh, and other loyal subjects:
+ (1) FIRST, THAT WE HAVE GRANTED TO GOD, and by this present charter have confirmed for us and our heirs in perpetuity, that the English Church shall be free, and shall have its rights undiminished, and its liberties unimpaired. That we wish this so to be observed, appears from the fact that of our own free will, before the outbreak of the present dispute between us and our barons, we granted and confirmed by charter the freedom of the Church's elections - a right reckoned to be of the greatest necessity and importance to it - and caused this to be confirmed by Pope Innocent III. This freedom we shall observe ourselves, and desire to be observed in good faith by our heirs in perpetuity.
TO ALL FREE MEN OF OUR KINGDOM we have also granted, for us and our heirs for ever, all the liberties written out below, to have and to keep for them and their heirs, of us and our heirs:
(2) If any earl, baron, or other person that holds lands directly of the Crown, for military service, shall die, and at his death his heir shall be of full age and owe a `relief', the heir shall have his inheritance on payment of the ancient scale of `relief'. That is to say, the heir or heirs of an earl shall pay £100 for the entire earl's barony, the heir or heirs of a knight l00s. at most for the entire knight's `fee', and any man that owes less shall pay less, in accordance with the ancient usage of `fees'
(3) But if the heir of such a person is under age and a ward, when he comes of age he shall have his inheritance without `relief' or fine.
(4) The guardian of the land of an heir who is under age shall take from it only reasonable revenues, customary dues, and feudal services. He shall do this without destruction or damage to men or property. If we have given the guardianship of the land to a sheriff, or to any person answerable to us for the revenues, and he commits destruction or damage, we will exact compensation from him, and the land shall be entrusted to two worthy and prudent men of the same `fee', who shall be answerable to us for the revenues, or to the person to whom we have assigned them. If we have given or sold to anyone the guardianship of such land, and he causes destruction or damage, he shall lose the guardianship of it, and it shall be handed over to two worthy and prudent men of the same `fee', who shall be similarly answerable to us.
(5) For so long as a guardian has guardianship of such land, he shall maintain the houses, parks, fish preserves, ponds, mills, and everything else pertaining to it, from the revenues of the land itself. When the heir comes of age, he shall restore the whole land to him, stocked with plough teams and such implements of husbandry as the season demands and the revenues from the land can reasonably bear.
(6) Heirs may be given in marriage, but not to someone of lower social standing. Before a marriage takes place, it shall be' made known to the heir's next-of-kin.
(7) At her husband's death, a widow may have her marriage portion and inheritance at once and without trouble. She shall pay nothing for her dower, marriage portion, or any inheritance that she and her husband held jointly on the day of his death. She may remain in her husband's house for forty days after his death, and within this period her dower shall be assigned to her.
(8) No widow shall be compelled to marry, so long as she wishes to remain without a husband. But she must give security that she will not marry without royal consent, if she holds her lands of the Crown, or without the consent of whatever other lord she may hold them of.
(9) Neither we nor our officials will seize any land or rent in payment of a debt, so long as the debtor has movable goods sufficient to discharge the debt. A debtor's sureties shall not be distrained upon so long as the debtor himself can discharge his debt. If, for lack of means, the debtor is unable to discharge his debt, his sureties shall be answerable for it. If they so desire, they may have the debtor's lands and rents until they have received satisfaction for the debt that they paid for him, unless the debtor can show that he has settled his obligations to them.
* (10) If anyone who has borrowed a sum of money from Jews dies before the debt has been repaid, his heir shall pay no interest on the debt for so long as he remains under age, irrespective of whom he holds his lands. If such a debt falls into the hands of the Crown, it will take nothing except the principal sum specified in the bond.
* (11) If a man dies owing money to Jews, his wife may have her dower and pay nothing towards the debt from it. If he leaves children that are under age, their needs may also be provided for on a scale appropriate to the size of his holding of lands. The debt is to be paid out of the residue, reserving the service due to his feudal lords. Debts owed to persons other than Jews are to be dealt with similarly.
* (12) No `scutage' or `aid' may be levied in our kingdom without its general consent, unless it is for the ransom of our person, to make our eldest son a knight, and (once) to marry our eldest daughter. For these purposes ouly a reasonable `aid' may be levied. `Aids' from the city of London are to be treated similarly.
+ (13) The city of London shall enjoy all its ancient liberties and free customs, both by land and by water. We also will and grant that all other cities, boroughs, towns, and ports shall enjoy all their liberties and free customs.
* (14) To obtain the general consent of the realm for the assessment of an `aid' - except in the three cases specified above - or a `scutage', we will cause the archbishops, bishops, abbots, earls, and greater barons to be summoned individually by letter. To those who hold lands directly of us we will cause a general summons to be issued, through the sheriffs and other officials, to come together on a fixed day (of which at least forty days notice shall be given) and at a fixed place. In all letters of summons, the cause of the summons will be stated. When a summons has been issued, the business appointed for the day shall go forward in accordance with the resolution of those present, even if not all those who were summoned have appeared.
* (15) In future we will allow no one to levy an `aid' from his free men, except to ransom his person, to make his eldest son a knight, and (once) to marry his eldest daughter. For these purposes only a reasonable `aid' may be levied.
(16) No man shall be forced to perform more service for a knight's `fee', or other free holding of land, than is due from it.
(17) Ordinary lawsuits shall not follow the royal court around, but shall be held in a fixed place.
(18) Inquests of novel disseisin, mort d'ancestor, and darrein presentment shall be taken only in their proper county court. We ourselves, or in our absence abroad our chief justice, will send two justices to each county four times a year, and these justices, with four knights of the county elected by the county itself, shall hold the assizes in the county court, on the day and in the place where the court meets.
(19) If any assizes cannot be taken on the day of the county court, as many knights and freeholders shall afterwards remain behind, of those who have attended the court, as will suffice for the administration of justice, having regard to the volume of business to be done.
(20) For a trivial offence, a free man shall be fined only in proportion to the degree of his offence, and for a serious offence correspondingly, but not so heavily as to deprive him of his livelihood. In the same way, a merchant shall be spared his merchandise, and a husbandman the implements of his husbandry, if they fall upon the mercy of a royal court. None of these fines shall be imposed except by the assessment on oath of reputable men of the neighbourhood.
(21) Earls and barons shall be fined only by their equals, and in proportion to the gravity of their offence.
(22) A fine imposed upon the lay property of a clerk in holy orders shall be assessed upon the same principles, without reference to the value of his ecclesiastical benefice.
(23) No town or person shall be forced to build bridges over rivers except those with an ancient obligation to do so.
(24) No sheriff, constable, coroners, or other royal officials are to hold lawsuits that should be held by the royal justices.
* (25) Every county, hundred, wapentake, and tithing shall remain at its ancient rent, without increase, except the royal demesne manors.
(26) If at the death of a man who holds a lay `fee' of the Crown, a sheriff or royal official produces royal letters patent of summons for a debt due to the Crown, it shall be lawful for them to seize and list movable goods found in the lay `fee' of the dead man to the value of the debt, as assessed by worthy men. Nothing shall be removed until the whole debt is paid, when the residue shall be given over to the executors to carry out the dead man s will. If no debt is due to the Crown, all the movable goods shall be regarded as the property of the dead man, except the reasonable shares of his wife and children.
* (27) If a free man dies intestate, his movable goods are to be distributed by his next-of-kin and friends, under the supervision of the Church. The rights of his debtors are to be preserved.
(28) No constable or other royal official shall take corn or other movable goods from any man without immediate payment, unless the seller voluntarily offers postponement of this.
(29) No constable may compel a knight to pay money for castle-guard if the knight is willing to undertake the guard in person, or with reasonable excuse to supply some other fit man to do it. A knight taken or sent on military service shall be excused from castle-guard for the period of this servlce.
(30) No sheriff, royal official, or other person shall take horses or carts for transport from any free man, without his consent.
(31) Neither we nor any royal official will take wood for our castle, or for any other purpose, without the consent of the owner.
(32) We will not keep the lands of people convicted of felony in our hand for longer than a year and a day, after which they shall be returned to the lords of the `fees' concerned.
(33) All fish-weirs shall be removed from the Thames, the Medway, and throughout the whole of England, except on the sea coast.
(34) The writ called precipe shall not in future be issued to anyone in respect of any holding of land, if a free man could thereby be deprived of the right of trial in his own lord's court.
(35) There shall be standard measures of wine, ale, and corn (the London quarter), throughout the kingdom. There shall also be a standard width of dyed cloth, russett, and haberject, namely two ells within the selvedges. Weights are to be standardised similarly.
(36) In future nothing shall be paid or accepted for the issue of a writ of inquisition of life or limbs. It shall be given gratis, and not refused.
(37) If a man holds land of the Crown by `fee-farm', `socage', or `burgage', and also holds land of someone else for knight's service, we will not have guardianship of his heir, nor of the land that belongs to the other person's `fee', by virtue of the `fee-farm', `socage', or `burgage', unless the `fee-farm' owes knight's service. We will not have the guardianship of a man's heir, or of land that he holds of someone else, by reason of any small property that he may hold of the Crown for a service of knives, arrows, or the like.
(38) In future no official shall place a man on trial upon his own unsupported statement, without producing credible witnesses to the truth of it.
+ (39) No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled, or deprived of his standing in any other way, nor will we proceed with force against him, or send others to do so, except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land.
+ (40) To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.
(41) All merchants may enter or leave England unharmed and without fear, and may stay or travel within it, by land or water, for purposes of trade, free from all illegal exactions, in accordance with ancient and lawful customs. This, however, does not apply in time of war to merchants from a country that is at war with us. Any such merchants found in our country at the outbreak of war shall be detained without injury to their persons or property, until we or our chief justice have discovered how our own merchants are being treated in the country at war with us. If our own merchants are safe they shall be safe too.
* (42) In future it shall be lawful for any man to leave and return to our kingdom unharmed and without fear, by land or water, preserving his allegiance to us, except in time of war, for some short period, for the common benefit of the realm. People that have been imprisoned or outlawed in accordance with the law of the land, people from a country that is at war with us, and merchants - who shall be dealt with as stated above - are excepted from this provision.
(43) If a man holds lands of any `escheat' such as the `honour' of Wallingford, Nottingham, Boulogne, Lancaster, or of other `escheats' in our hand that are baronies, at his death his heir shall give us only the `relief' and service that he would have made to the baron, had the barony been in the baron's hand. We will hold the `escheat' in the same manner as the baron held it.
(44) People who live outside the forest need not in future appear before the royal justices of the forest in answer to general summonses, unless they are actually involved in proceedings or are sureties for someone who has been seized for a forest offence.
* (45) We will appoint as justices, constables, sheriffs, or other officials, only men that know the law of the realm and are minded to keep it well.
(46) All barons who have founded abbeys, and have charters of English kings or ancient tenure as evidence of this, may have guardianship of them when there is no abbot, as is their due.
(47) All forests that have been created in our reign shall at once be disafforested. River-banks that have been enclosed in our reign shall be treated similarly.
* (48) All evil customs relating to forests and warrens, foresters, warreners, sheriffs and their servants, or river-banks and their wardens, are at once to be investigated in every county by twelve sworn knights of the county, and within forty days of their enquiry the evil customs are to be abolished completely and irrevocably. But we, or our chief justice if we are not in England, are first to be informed.
* (49) We will at once return all hostages and charters delivered up to us by Englishmen as security for peace or for loyal service.
* (50) We will remove completely from their offices the kinsmen of Gerard de Athée, and in future they shall hold no offices in England. The people in question are Engelard de Cigogné', Peter, Guy, and Andrew de Chanceaux, Guy de Cigogné, Geoffrey de Martigny and his brothers, Philip Marc and his brothers, with Geoffrey his nephew, and all their followers.
* (51) As soon as peace is restored, we will remove from the kingdom all the foreign knights, bowmen, their attendants, and the mercenaries that have come to it, to its harm, with horses and arms.
* (52) To any man whom we have deprived or dispossessed of lands, castles, liberties, or rights, without the lawful judgement of his equals, we will at once restore these. In cases of dispute the matter shall be resolved by the judgement of the twenty-five barons referred to below in the clause for securing the peace (§ 61). In cases, however, where a man was deprived or dispossessed of something without the lawful judgement of his equals by our father King Henry or our brother King Richard, and it remains in our hands or is held by others under our warranty, we shall have respite for the period commonly allowed to Crusaders, unless a lawsuit had been begun, or an enquiry had been made at our order, before we took the Cross as a Crusader. On our return from the Crusade, or if we abandon it, we will at once render justice in full.
* (53) We shall have similar respite in rendering justice in connexion with forests that are to be disafforested, or to remain forests, when these were first a-orested by our father Henry or our brother Richard; with the guardianship of lands in another person's `fee', when we have hitherto had this by virtue of a `fee' held of us for knight's service by a third party; and with abbeys founded in another person's `fee', in which the lord of the `fee' claims to own a right. On our return from the Crusade, or if we abandon it, we will at once do full justice to complaints about these matters.
(54) No one shall be arrested or imprisoned on the appeal of a woman for the death of any person except her husband.
* (55) All fines that have been given to us unjustiy and against the law of the land, and all fines that we have exacted unjustly, shall be entirely remitted or the matter decided by a majority judgement of the twenty-five barons referred to below in the clause for securing the peace (§ 61) together with Stephen, archbishop of Canterbury, if he can be present, and such others as he wishes to bring with him. If the archbishop cannot be present, proceedings shall continue without him, provided that if any of the twenty-five barons has been involved in a similar suit himself, his judgement shall be set aside, and someone else chosen and sworn in his place, as a substitute for the single occasion, by the rest of the twenty-five.
(56) If we have deprived or dispossessed any Welshmen of lands, liberties, or anything else in England or in Wales, without the lawful judgement of their equals, these are at once to be returned to them. A dispute on this point shall be determined in the Marches by the judgement of equals. English law shall apply to holdings of land in England, Welsh law to those in Wales, and the law of the Marches to those in the Marches. The Welsh shall treat us and ours in the same way.
* (57) In cases where a Welshman was deprived or dispossessed of anything, without the lawful judgement of his equals, by our father King Henry or our brother King Richard, and it remains in our hands or is held by others under our warranty, we shall have respite for the period commonly allowed to Crusaders, unless a lawsuit had been begun, or an enquiry had been made at our order, before we took the Cross as a Crusader. But on our return from the Crusade, or if we abandon it, we will at once do full justice according to the laws of Wales and the said regions.
* (58) We will at once return the son of Llywelyn, all Welsh hostages, and the charters delivered to us as security for the peace.
* (59) With regard to the return of the sisters and hostages of Alexander, king of Scotland, his liberties and his rights, we will treat him in the same way as our other barons of England, unless it appears from the charters that we hold from his father William, formerly king of Scotland, that he should be treated otherwise. This matter shall be resolved by the judgement of his equals in our court.
(60) All these customs and liberties that we have granted shall be observed in our kingdom in so far as concerns our own relations with our subjects. Let all men of our kingdom, whether clergy or laymen, observe them similarly in their relations with their own men.
* (61) SINCE WE HAVE GRANTED ALL THESE THINGS for God, for the better ordering of our kingdom, and to allay the discord that has arisen between us and our barons, and since we desire that they shall be enjoyed in their entirety, with lasting strength, for ever, we give and grant to the barons the following security:
The barons shall elect twenty-five of their number to keep, and cause to be observed with all their might, the peace and liberties granted and confirmed to them by this charter.
If we, our chief justice, our officials, or any of our servants offend in any respect against any man, or transgress any of the articles of the peace or of this security, and the offence is made known to four of the said twenty-five barons, they shall come to us - or in our absence from the kingdom to the chief justice - to declare it and claim immediate redress. If we, or in our absence abroad the chiefjustice, make no redress within forty days, reckoning from the day on which the offence was declared to us or to him, the four barons shall refer the matter to the rest of the twenty-five barons, who may distrain upon and assail us in every way possible, with the support of the whole community of the land, by seizing our castles, lands, possessions, or anything else saving only our own person and those of the queen and our children, until they have secured such redress as they have determined upon. Having secured the redress, they may then resume their normal obedience to us.
Any man who so desires may take an oath to obey the commands of the twenty-five barons for the achievement of these ends, and to join with them in assailing us to the utmost of his power. We give public and free permission to take this oath to any man who so desires, and at no time will we prohibit any man from taking it. Indeed, we will compel any of our subjects who are unwilling to take it to swear it at our command.
If-one of the twenty-five barons dies or leaves the country, or is prevented in any other way from discharging his duties, the rest of them shall choose another baron in his place, at their discretion, who shall be duly sworn in as they were.
In the event of disagreement among the twenty-five barons on any matter referred to them for decision, the verdict of the majority present shall have the same validity as a unanimous verdict of the whole twenty-five, whether these were all present or some of those summoned were unwilling or unable to appear.
The twenty-five barons shall swear to obey all the above articles faithfully, and shall cause them to be obeyed by others to the best of their power.
We will not seek to procure from anyone, either by our own efforts or those of a third party, anything by which any part of these concessions or liberties might be revoked or diminished. Should such a thing be procured, it shall be null and void and we will at no time make use of it, either ourselves or through a third party.
* (62) We have remitted and pardoned fully to all men any ill-will, hurt, or grudges that have arisen between us and our subjects, whether clergy or laymen, since the beginning of the dispute. We have in addition remitted fully, and for our own part have also pardoned, to all clergy and laymen any offences committed as a result of the said dispute between Easter in the sixteenth year of our reign (i.e. 1215) and the restoration of peace.
In addition we have caused letters patent to be made for the barons, bearing witness to this security and to the concessions set out above, over the seals of Stephen archbishop of Canterbury, Henry archbishop of Dublin, the other bishops named above, and Master Pandulf.
* (63) IT IS ACCORDINGLY OUR WISH AND COMMAND that the English Church shall be free, and that men in our kingdom shall have and keep all these liberties, rights, and concessions, well and peaceably in their fulness and entirety for them and their heirs, of us and our heirs, in all things and all places for ever.
Both we and the barons have sworn that all this shall be observed in good faith and without deceit. Witness the abovementioned people and many others.
Given by our hand in the meadow that is called Runnymede, between Windsor and Staines, on the fifteenth day of June in the seventeenth year of our reign (i.e. 1215: the new regnal year began on 28 May).
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
Do you like fishsammiches?
wheeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Through an unexpected database error, and while all staff is away on retreat for the weekend, you suddenly find yourself with forum Admin powers. What do you do?
Take of my pants and starting locking posts. Just like Danalog.
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
South Dakota, because seriously, nothing pisses me off more that South Dakota.
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
Not Coaddddddyyy.
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
I've always hated the "x", so I guess it would have to go.
5. What's my favorite color?
Kick *** red
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
VG+
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
Netflix
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
JOHN, by the grace of God King of England, Lord of Ireland, Duke of Normandy and Aquitaine, and Count of Anjou, to his archbishops, bishops, abbots, earls, barons, justices, foresters, sheriffs, stewards, servants, and to all his officials and loyal subjects, Greeting.
KNOW THAT BEFORE GOD, for the health of our soul and those of our ancestors and heirs, to the honour of God, the exaltation of the holy Church, and the better ordering of our kingdom, at the advice of our reverend fathers Stephen, archbishop of Canterbury, primate of all England, and cardinal of the holy Roman Church, Henry archbishop of Dublin, William bishop of London, Peter bishop of Winchester, Jocelin bishop of Bath and Glastonbury, Hugh bishop of Lincoln, Walter Bishop of Worcester, William bishop of Coventry, Benedict bishop of Rochester, Master Pandulf subdeacon and member of the papal household, Brother Aymeric master of the knighthood of the Temple in England, William Marshal earl of Pembroke, William earl of Salisbury, William earl of Warren, William earl of Arundel, Alan de Galloway constable of Scotland, Warin Fitz Gerald, Peter Fitz Herbert, Hubert de Burgh seneschal of Poitou, Hugh de Neville, Matthew Fitz Herbert, Thomas Basset, Alan Basset, Philip Daubeny, Robert de Roppeley, John Marshal, John Fitz Hugh, and other loyal subjects:
+ (1) FIRST, THAT WE HAVE GRANTED TO GOD, and by this present charter have confirmed for us and our heirs in perpetuity, that the English Church shall be free, and shall have its rights undiminished, and its liberties unimpaired. That we wish this so to be observed, appears from the fact that of our own free will, before the outbreak of the present dispute between us and our barons, we granted and confirmed by charter the freedom of the Church's elections - a right reckoned to be of the greatest necessity and importance to it - and caused this to be confirmed by Pope Innocent III. This freedom we shall observe ourselves, and desire to be observed in good faith by our heirs in perpetuity.
TO ALL FREE MEN OF OUR KINGDOM we have also granted, for us and our heirs for ever, all the liberties written out below, to have and to keep for them and their heirs, of us and our heirs:
(2) If any earl, baron, or other person that holds lands directly of the Crown, for military service, shall die, and at his death his heir shall be of full age and owe a `relief', the heir shall have his inheritance on payment of the ancient scale of `relief'. That is to say, the heir or heirs of an earl shall pay £100 for the entire earl's barony, the heir or heirs of a knight l00s. at most for the entire knight's `fee', and any man that owes less shall pay less, in accordance with the ancient usage of `fees'
(3) But if the heir of such a person is under age and a ward, when he comes of age he shall have his inheritance without `relief' or fine.
(4) The guardian of the land of an heir who is under age shall take from it only reasonable revenues, customary dues, and feudal services. He shall do this without destruction or damage to men or property. If we have given the guardianship of the land to a sheriff, or to any person answerable to us for the revenues, and he commits destruction or damage, we will exact compensation from him, and the land shall be entrusted to two worthy and prudent men of the same `fee', who shall be answerable to us for the revenues, or to the person to whom we have assigned them. If we have given or sold to anyone the guardianship of such land, and he causes destruction or damage, he shall lose the guardianship of it, and it shall be handed over to two worthy and prudent men of the same `fee', who shall be similarly answerable to us.
(5) For so long as a guardian has guardianship of such land, he shall maintain the houses, parks, fish preserves, ponds, mills, and everything else pertaining to it, from the revenues of the land itself. When the heir comes of age, he shall restore the whole land to him, stocked with plough teams and such implements of husbandry as the season demands and the revenues from the land can reasonably bear.
(6) Heirs may be given in marriage, but not to someone of lower social standing. Before a marriage takes place, it shall be' made known to the heir's next-of-kin.
(7) At her husband's death, a widow may have her marriage portion and inheritance at once and without trouble. She shall pay nothing for her dower, marriage portion, or any inheritance that she and her husband held jointly on the day of his death. She may remain in her husband's house for forty days after his death, and within this period her dower shall be assigned to her.
(8) No widow shall be compelled to marry, so long as she wishes to remain without a husband. But she must give security that she will not marry without royal consent, if she holds her lands of the Crown, or without the consent of whatever other lord she may hold them of.
(9) Neither we nor our officials will seize any land or rent in payment of a debt, so long as the debtor has movable goods sufficient to discharge the debt. A debtor's sureties shall not be distrained upon so long as the debtor himself can discharge his debt. If, for lack of means, the debtor is unable to discharge his debt, his sureties shall be answerable for it. If they so desire, they may have the debtor's lands and rents until they have received satisfaction for the debt that they paid for him, unless the debtor can show that he has settled his obligations to them.
* (10) If anyone who has borrowed a sum of money from Jews dies before the debt has been repaid, his heir shall pay no interest on the debt for so long as he remains under age, irrespective of whom he holds his lands. If such a debt falls into the hands of the Crown, it will take nothing except the principal sum specified in the bond.
* (11) If a man dies owing money to Jews, his wife may have her dower and pay nothing towards the debt from it. If he leaves children that are under age, their needs may also be provided for on a scale appropriate to the size of his holding of lands. The debt is to be paid out of the residue, reserving the service due to his feudal lords. Debts owed to persons other than Jews are to be dealt with similarly.
* (12) No `scutage' or `aid' may be levied in our kingdom without its general consent, unless it is for the ransom of our person, to make our eldest son a knight, and (once) to marry our eldest daughter. For these purposes ouly a reasonable `aid' may be levied. `Aids' from the city of London are to be treated similarly.
+ (13) The city of London shall enjoy all its ancient liberties and free customs, both by land and by water. We also will and grant that all other cities, boroughs, towns, and ports shall enjoy all their liberties and free customs.
* (14) To obtain the general consent of the realm for the assessment of an `aid' - except in the three cases specified above - or a `scutage', we will cause the archbishops, bishops, abbots, earls, and greater barons to be summoned individually by letter. To those who hold lands directly of us we will cause a general summons to be issued, through the sheriffs and other officials, to come together on a fixed day (of which at least forty days notice shall be given) and at a fixed place. In all letters of summons, the cause of the summons will be stated. When a summons has been issued, the business appointed for the day shall go forward in accordance with the resolution of those present, even if not all those who were summoned have appeared.
* (15) In future we will allow no one to levy an `aid' from his free men, except to ransom his person, to make his eldest son a knight, and (once) to marry his eldest daughter. For these purposes only a reasonable `aid' may be levied.
(16) No man shall be forced to perform more service for a knight's `fee', or other free holding of land, than is due from it.
(17) Ordinary lawsuits shall not follow the royal court around, but shall be held in a fixed place.
(18) Inquests of novel disseisin, mort d'ancestor, and darrein presentment shall be taken only in their proper county court. We ourselves, or in our absence abroad our chief justice, will send two justices to each county four times a year, and these justices, with four knights of the county elected by the county itself, shall hold the assizes in the county court, on the day and in the place where the court meets.
(19) If any assizes cannot be taken on the day of the county court, as many knights and freeholders shall afterwards remain behind, of those who have attended the court, as will suffice for the administration of justice, having regard to the volume of business to be done.
(20) For a trivial offence, a free man shall be fined only in proportion to the degree of his offence, and for a serious offence correspondingly, but not so heavily as to deprive him of his livelihood. In the same way, a merchant shall be spared his merchandise, and a husbandman the implements of his husbandry, if they fall upon the mercy of a royal court. None of these fines shall be imposed except by the assessment on oath of reputable men of the neighbourhood.
(21) Earls and barons shall be fined only by their equals, and in proportion to the gravity of their offence.
(22) A fine imposed upon the lay property of a clerk in holy orders shall be assessed upon the same principles, without reference to the value of his ecclesiastical benefice.
(23) No town or person shall be forced to build bridges over rivers except those with an ancient obligation to do so.
(24) No sheriff, constable, coroners, or other royal officials are to hold lawsuits that should be held by the royal justices.
* (25) Every county, hundred, wapentake, and tithing shall remain at its ancient rent, without increase, except the royal demesne manors.
(26) If at the death of a man who holds a lay `fee' of the Crown, a sheriff or royal official produces royal letters patent of summons for a debt due to the Crown, it shall be lawful for them to seize and list movable goods found in the lay `fee' of the dead man to the value of the debt, as assessed by worthy men. Nothing shall be removed until the whole debt is paid, when the residue shall be given over to the executors to carry out the dead man s will. If no debt is due to the Crown, all the movable goods shall be regarded as the property of the dead man, except the reasonable shares of his wife and children.
* (27) If a free man dies intestate, his movable goods are to be distributed by his next-of-kin and friends, under the supervision of the Church. The rights of his debtors are to be preserved.
(28) No constable or other royal official shall take corn or other movable goods from any man without immediate payment, unless the seller voluntarily offers postponement of this.
(29) No constable may compel a knight to pay money for castle-guard if the knight is willing to undertake the guard in person, or with reasonable excuse to supply some other fit man to do it. A knight taken or sent on military service shall be excused from castle-guard for the period of this servlce.
(30) No sheriff, royal official, or other person shall take horses or carts for transport from any free man, without his consent.
(31) Neither we nor any royal official will take wood for our castle, or for any other purpose, without the consent of the owner.
(32) We will not keep the lands of people convicted of felony in our hand for longer than a year and a day, after which they shall be returned to the lords of the `fees' concerned.
(33) All fish-weirs shall be removed from the Thames, the Medway, and throughout the whole of England, except on the sea coast.
(34) The writ called precipe shall not in future be issued to anyone in respect of any holding of land, if a free man could thereby be deprived of the right of trial in his own lord's court.
(35) There shall be standard measures of wine, ale, and corn (the London quarter), throughout the kingdom. There shall also be a standard width of dyed cloth, russett, and haberject, namely two ells within the selvedges. Weights are to be standardised similarly.
(36) In future nothing shall be paid or accepted for the issue of a writ of inquisition of life or limbs. It shall be given gratis, and not refused.
(37) If a man holds land of the Crown by `fee-farm', `socage', or `burgage', and also holds land of someone else for knight's service, we will not have guardianship of his heir, nor of the land that belongs to the other person's `fee', by virtue of the `fee-farm', `socage', or `burgage', unless the `fee-farm' owes knight's service. We will not have the guardianship of a man's heir, or of land that he holds of someone else, by reason of any small property that he may hold of the Crown for a service of knives, arrows, or the like.
(38) In future no official shall place a man on trial upon his own unsupported statement, without producing credible witnesses to the truth of it.
+ (39) No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled, or deprived of his standing in any other way, nor will we proceed with force against him, or send others to do so, except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land.
+ (40) To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.
(41) All merchants may enter or leave England unharmed and without fear, and may stay or travel within it, by land or water, for purposes of trade, free from all illegal exactions, in accordance with ancient and lawful customs. This, however, does not apply in time of war to merchants from a country that is at war with us. Any such merchants found in our country at the outbreak of war shall be detained without injury to their persons or property, until we or our chief justice have discovered how our own merchants are being treated in the country at war with us. If our own merchants are safe they shall be safe too.
* (42) In future it shall be lawful for any man to leave and return to our kingdom unharmed and without fear, by land or water, preserving his allegiance to us, except in time of war, for some short period, for the common benefit of the realm. People that have been imprisoned or outlawed in accordance with the law of the land, people from a country that is at war with us, and merchants - who shall be dealt with as stated above - are excepted from this provision.
(43) If a man holds lands of any `escheat' such as the `honour' of Wallingford, Nottingham, Boulogne, Lancaster, or of other `escheats' in our hand that are baronies, at his death his heir shall give us only the `relief' and service that he would have made to the baron, had the barony been in the baron's hand. We will hold the `escheat' in the same manner as the baron held it.
(44) People who live outside the forest need not in future appear before the royal justices of the forest in answer to general summonses, unless they are actually involved in proceedings or are sureties for someone who has been seized for a forest offence.
* (45) We will appoint as justices, constables, sheriffs, or other officials, only men that know the law of the realm and are minded to keep it well.
(46) All barons who have founded abbeys, and have charters of English kings or ancient tenure as evidence of this, may have guardianship of them when there is no abbot, as is their due.
(47) All forests that have been created in our reign shall at once be disafforested. River-banks that have been enclosed in our reign shall be treated similarly.
* (48) All evil customs relating to forests and warrens, foresters, warreners, sheriffs and their servants, or river-banks and their wardens, are at once to be investigated in every county by twelve sworn knights of the county, and within forty days of their enquiry the evil customs are to be abolished completely and irrevocably. But we, or our chief justice if we are not in England, are first to be informed.
* (49) We will at once return all hostages and charters delivered up to us by Englishmen as security for peace or for loyal service.
* (50) We will remove completely from their offices the kinsmen of Gerard de Athée, and in future they shall hold no offices in England. The people in question are Engelard de Cigogné', Peter, Guy, and Andrew de Chanceaux, Guy de Cigogné, Geoffrey de Martigny and his brothers, Philip Marc and his brothers, with Geoffrey his nephew, and all their followers.
* (51) As soon as peace is restored, we will remove from the kingdom all the foreign knights, bowmen, their attendants, and the mercenaries that have come to it, to its harm, with horses and arms.
* (52) To any man whom we have deprived or dispossessed of lands, castles, liberties, or rights, without the lawful judgement of his equals, we will at once restore these. In cases of dispute the matter shall be resolved by the judgement of the twenty-five barons referred to below in the clause for securing the peace (§ 61). In cases, however, where a man was deprived or dispossessed of something without the lawful judgement of his equals by our father King Henry or our brother King Richard, and it remains in our hands or is held by others under our warranty, we shall have respite for the period commonly allowed to Crusaders, unless a lawsuit had been begun, or an enquiry had been made at our order, before we took the Cross as a Crusader. On our return from the Crusade, or if we abandon it, we will at once render justice in full.
* (53) We shall have similar respite in rendering justice in connexion with forests that are to be disafforested, or to remain forests, when these were first a-orested by our father Henry or our brother Richard; with the guardianship of lands in another person's `fee', when we have hitherto had this by virtue of a `fee' held of us for knight's service by a third party; and with abbeys founded in another person's `fee', in which the lord of the `fee' claims to own a right. On our return from the Crusade, or if we abandon it, we will at once do full justice to complaints about these matters.
(54) No one shall be arrested or imprisoned on the appeal of a woman for the death of any person except her husband.
* (55) All fines that have been given to us unjustiy and against the law of the land, and all fines that we have exacted unjustly, shall be entirely remitted or the matter decided by a majority judgement of the twenty-five barons referred to below in the clause for securing the peace (§ 61) together with Stephen, archbishop of Canterbury, if he can be present, and such others as he wishes to bring with him. If the archbishop cannot be present, proceedings shall continue without him, provided that if any of the twenty-five barons has been involved in a similar suit himself, his judgement shall be set aside, and someone else chosen and sworn in his place, as a substitute for the single occasion, by the rest of the twenty-five.
(56) If we have deprived or dispossessed any Welshmen of lands, liberties, or anything else in England or in Wales, without the lawful judgement of their equals, these are at once to be returned to them. A dispute on this point shall be determined in the Marches by the judgement of equals. English law shall apply to holdings of land in England, Welsh law to those in Wales, and the law of the Marches to those in the Marches. The Welsh shall treat us and ours in the same way.
* (57) In cases where a Welshman was deprived or dispossessed of anything, without the lawful judgement of his equals, by our father King Henry or our brother King Richard, and it remains in our hands or is held by others under our warranty, we shall have respite for the period commonly allowed to Crusaders, unless a lawsuit had been begun, or an enquiry had been made at our order, before we took the Cross as a Crusader. But on our return from the Crusade, or if we abandon it, we will at once do full justice according to the laws of Wales and the said regions.
* (58) We will at once return the son of Llywelyn, all Welsh hostages, and the charters delivered to us as security for the peace.
* (59) With regard to the return of the sisters and hostages of Alexander, king of Scotland, his liberties and his rights, we will treat him in the same way as our other barons of England, unless it appears from the charters that we hold from his father William, formerly king of Scotland, that he should be treated otherwise. This matter shall be resolved by the judgement of his equals in our court.
(60) All these customs and liberties that we have granted shall be observed in our kingdom in so far as concerns our own relations with our subjects. Let all men of our kingdom, whether clergy or laymen, observe them similarly in their relations with their own men.
* (61) SINCE WE HAVE GRANTED ALL THESE THINGS for God, for the better ordering of our kingdom, and to allay the discord that has arisen between us and our barons, and since we desire that they shall be enjoyed in their entirety, with lasting strength, for ever, we give and grant to the barons the following security:
The barons shall elect twenty-five of their number to keep, and cause to be observed with all their might, the peace and liberties granted and confirmed to them by this charter.
If we, our chief justice, our officials, or any of our servants offend in any respect against any man, or transgress any of the articles of the peace or of this security, and the offence is made known to four of the said twenty-five barons, they shall come to us - or in our absence from the kingdom to the chief justice - to declare it and claim immediate redress. If we, or in our absence abroad the chiefjustice, make no redress within forty days, reckoning from the day on which the offence was declared to us or to him, the four barons shall refer the matter to the rest of the twenty-five barons, who may distrain upon and assail us in every way possible, with the support of the whole community of the land, by seizing our castles, lands, possessions, or anything else saving only our own person and those of the queen and our children, until they have secured such redress as they have determined upon. Having secured the redress, they may then resume their normal obedience to us.
Any man who so desires may take an oath to obey the commands of the twenty-five barons for the achievement of these ends, and to join with them in assailing us to the utmost of his power. We give public and free permission to take this oath to any man who so desires, and at no time will we prohibit any man from taking it. Indeed, we will compel any of our subjects who are unwilling to take it to swear it at our command.
If-one of the twenty-five barons dies or leaves the country, or is prevented in any other way from discharging his duties, the rest of them shall choose another baron in his place, at their discretion, who shall be duly sworn in as they were.
In the event of disagreement among the twenty-five barons on any matter referred to them for decision, the verdict of the majority present shall have the same validity as a unanimous verdict of the whole twenty-five, whether these were all present or some of those summoned were unwilling or unable to appear.
The twenty-five barons shall swear to obey all the above articles faithfully, and shall cause them to be obeyed by others to the best of their power.
We will not seek to procure from anyone, either by our own efforts or those of a third party, anything by which any part of these concessions or liberties might be revoked or diminished. Should such a thing be procured, it shall be null and void and we will at no time make use of it, either ourselves or through a third party.
* (62) We have remitted and pardoned fully to all men any ill-will, hurt, or grudges that have arisen between us and our subjects, whether clergy or laymen, since the beginning of the dispute. We have in addition remitted fully, and for our own part have also pardoned, to all clergy and laymen any offences committed as a result of the said dispute between Easter in the sixteenth year of our reign (i.e. 1215) and the restoration of peace.
In addition we have caused letters patent to be made for the barons, bearing witness to this security and to the concessions set out above, over the seals of Stephen archbishop of Canterbury, Henry archbishop of Dublin, the other bishops named above, and Master Pandulf.
* (63) IT IS ACCORDINGLY OUR WISH AND COMMAND that the English Church shall be free, and that men in our kingdom shall have and keep all these liberties, rights, and concessions, well and peaceably in their fulness and entirety for them and their heirs, of us and our heirs, in all things and all places for ever.
Both we and the barons have sworn that all this shall be observed in good faith and without deceit. Witness the abovementioned people and many others.
Given by our hand in the meadow that is called Runnymede, between Windsor and Staines, on the fifteenth day of June in the seventeenth year of our reign (i.e. 1215: the new regnal year began on 28 May).
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
Do you like fishsammiches?
wheeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
Da. Is poll. You fill out, or we releaze ze badgers no? You vill not like ze badgers. Zey are most ill mannered...
1. Through an unexpected database error, and while all staff is away on retreat for the weekend, you suddenly find yourself with forum Admin powers. What do you do?
Make Bodhi a Guru, d'uh!
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
Edmonton Alberta. Goose lives there, also its just a sh[Antiquewhite][/Antiquewhite]it city so no one would care. Plus Tare no longer lives there so it s'all good.
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
Joph, you always go for the straight faced guy.
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
Any letter but Zed.
5. What's my favorite color?
Vert!
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
NI - Needs Improvement
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
The kind that are dead, and not really cows but horses. Horses that are overly pulverized. They always make tuesdays sweeter.
8.
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
If they like me, yes. If not I could not give two ***** and a **** about them /harumph
wheeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
Bottoms up!
1. Through an unexpected database error, and while all staff is away on retreat for the weekend, you suddenly find yourself with forum Admin powers. What do you do?
Make Bodhi a Guru, d'uh!
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
Edmonton Alberta. Goose lives there, also its just a sh[Antiquewhite][/Antiquewhite]it city so no one would care. Plus Tare no longer lives there so it s'all good.
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
Joph, you always go for the straight faced guy.
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
Any letter but Zed.
5. What's my favorite color?
Vert!
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
NI - Needs Improvement
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
The kind that are dead, and not really cows but horses. Horses that are overly pulverized. They always make tuesdays sweeter.
8.
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
If they like me, yes. If not I could not give two ***** and a **** about them /harumph
wheeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
Bottoms up!
Bode - 100 Holy Paladin - Lightbringer
1. Through an unexpected database error, and while all staff is away on retreat for the weekend, you suddenly find yourself with forum Admin powers. What do you do?
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
...maybe the moon if I'm lucky enough. If I end up blowing up the moon, all the EQ players will probably get a warm feeling inside.
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
...what flavor pie? If it's this flavor, I'd be highly tempted to just sit and eat it.
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
Why, "X", of course.
5. What's my favorite color?
Green?
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
If it's still Frakkor's post above mine, F for copying and pasting something really long a boring looking.
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
Depends on what time the cocoa bean was harvested from the cocoa trees on Monday.
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
/mourn blank posts
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
Pervert!
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
...maybe the moon if I'm lucky enough. If I end up blowing up the moon, all the EQ players will probably get a warm feeling inside.
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
...what flavor pie? If it's this flavor, I'd be highly tempted to just sit and eat it.
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
Why, "X", of course.
5. What's my favorite color?
Green?
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
If it's still Frakkor's post above mine, F for copying and pasting something really long a boring looking.
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
Depends on what time the cocoa bean was harvested from the cocoa trees on Monday.
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
/mourn blank posts
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
Pervert!
1. Through an unexpected database error, and while all staff is away on retreat for the weekend, you suddenly find yourself with forum Admin powers. What do you do?
Bring Bhodi up to Guru, and then shoot down to Scholar, then bring him back up to Sage. And I'm bring the numbers back just for Nephy.
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
I'd aim for the Lost island because those people have no clue what's going on so I'd put them out of their misery and never let them find the answers. Sorry Pikko. But I would.
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
DSD just because the guys would start yelling "Aim for the bewbs!"
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
Y
5. What's my favorite color?
Whatever color your fiance picks out for the wedding.
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
An A+!
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
Happy cows from California.
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
Suck it.
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
Not as much as porcupines.
Bring Bhodi up to Guru, and then shoot down to Scholar, then bring him back up to Sage. And I'm bring the numbers back just for Nephy.
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
I'd aim for the Lost island because those people have no clue what's going on so I'd put them out of their misery and never let them find the answers. Sorry Pikko. But I would.
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
DSD just because the guys would start yelling "Aim for the bewbs!"
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
Y
5. What's my favorite color?
Whatever color your fiance picks out for the wedding.
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
An A+!
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
Happy cows from California.
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
Suck it.
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
Not as much as porcupines.
Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
1. Through an unexpected database error, and while all staff is away on retreat for the weekend, you suddenly find yourself with forum Admin powers. What do you do?
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Eodus wrote:
If it's still Frakkor's post above mine, F for copying and pasting something really long a boring looking.
We[Antiquewhite[/Antiquewhite]ll fu[Blue[/Blue]ck m[Bisque[/Bisque]e fo[Chocolate[/Chocolate]r no[Cornflowerblue[/Cornflowerblue]t real[Lightcoral[/Lightcoral]izing th[Lemonchiffon[/Lemonchiffon]at t[Lightgoldenrodyellow[/Lightgoldenrodyellow]he Mag[Papayawhip[/Papayawhip]na Car[Whitesmoke[/Whitesmoke]ta i[Springsteen[/Springsteen]s lon[Mediumaquamarine[/Mediumaquamarine]g a[Lightslategray[/Lightslategray]nd bori[Mediumspringgreen[/Mediumspringgreen]ng
Quote:
1. Through an unexpected database error, and while all staff is away on retreat for the weekend, you suddenly find yourself with forum Admin powers. What do you do?
Immediately ban the entire non-asylumite ffxi community, put Bodhi's karma at 3.00, put Katie's Karma at 3.66, make my name, Driftwood the 6.3rd just to annoy Xythex, and I would nuke any new posts by anyone with less than 100 posts.
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
Utah
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
myself so that I can have more pie than other people.
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
_
5. What's my favorite color?
hot pink
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
B for being annoying to read
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
A Canadian one
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
why was it intentionally left blank?
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
Immediately ban the entire non-asylumite ffxi community, put Bodhi's karma at 3.00, put Katie's Karma at 3.66, make my name, Driftwood the 6.3rd just to annoy Xythex, and I would nuke any new posts by anyone with less than 100 posts.
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
Utah
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
myself so that I can have more pie than other people.
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
_
5. What's my favorite color?
hot pink
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
B for being annoying to read
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
A Canadian one
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
why was it intentionally left blank?
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
What the **** is an aardvaark?
10k before the site's inevitable death or bust
The World Is Not A Cold Dead Place.
The World Is Not A Cold Dead Place.
Alan Watts wrote:
I am omnipotent insofar as I am the Universe, but I am not an omnipotent in the role of Alan Watts, only cunning
Eske wrote:
I've always read Driftwood as the straight man in varus' double act. It helps if you read all of his posts in the voice of Droopy Dog.
Driftwood the Eccentric wrote:
What the @#%^ is an aardvaark?
This:
http://www.allstar.fiu.edu/aero/images/f-111a.jpg
Or one of these:
http://www.wildwatch.com/images/resources/mammals/aardvaark.jpg
Arch Duke Kaolian Drachensborn, lvl 95 Ranger, Unrest Server
Tech support forum | FAQ (Support) | Mobile Zam: http://m.zam.com (Premium only)
Forum Rules
Tech support forum | FAQ (Support) | Mobile Zam: http://m.zam.com (Premium only)
Forum Rules
Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
1. Through an unexpected database error, and while all staff is away on retreat for the weekend, you suddenly find yourself with forum Admin powers. What do you do?
Give myself and a few others free premium, giving us no touch status and playing around with various threads for the fun of it moving some FFXI into WoW, WoW into EQ, you get the idea.
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
Siberia. Didnt it get hit once already? If not, no one is going to miss it much
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
What kind of pie?
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
***** that! Id get ridof my damn start button next to my alt button. Do you know how many times Ive hit that damn key while playing an MMO and found myself in windows mode? Not cool
5. What's my favorite color?
Blue!!... No Red!
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
Kao answered above me, no grade for joo!
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
The Hershey Cow
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
<this answer was not left blank, but was abducted by alien wombats for examination>
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
Do they taste like chicken?
wheeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
Edited, Jun 27th 2006 at 8:42pm EDT by DSD
Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
Da. Is poll. You fill out, or we releaze ze badgers no? You vill not like ze badgers. Zey are most ill mannered...
1. Through an unexpected database error, and while all staff is away on retreat for the weekend, you suddenly find yourself with forum Admin powers. What do you do?
Sit in an office chair and propel myself around with a fire extinguisher.
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
Nuke the whales!
Gotta nuke SOMETHING!
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
That would depend on the kind of pie...
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
"W" There. I said it. I'm tired of living in fear!!
5. What's my favorite color?
Clear
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
I didn't even read it but I think a "B" is a safe answer.
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
Your mother. Oooooh snap.
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
This text filled that space.
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
BBQ sauce!
wheeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Through an unexpected database error, and while all staff is away on retreat for the weekend, you suddenly find yourself with forum Admin powers. What do you do?
Sit in an office chair and propel myself around with a fire extinguisher.
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
Nuke the whales!
Gotta nuke SOMETHING!
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
That would depend on the kind of pie...
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
"W" There. I said it. I'm tired of living in fear!!
5. What's my favorite color?
Clear
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
I didn't even read it but I think a "B" is a safe answer.
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
Your mother. Oooooh snap.
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
This text filled that space.
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
BBQ sauce!
wheeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Through an unexpected database error, and while all staff is away on retreat for the weekend, you suddenly find yourself with forum Admin powers. What do you do?
Bring back numbers. IP ban a certain college in Chicago. Ban random people. Sex and debauchery, that kind of thing.
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
A community college in Chicago. And you damn well know why Kao!
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
Kelvyquayo
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
Z so I would never have to see the "word" Orz again.
5. What's my favorite color?
The color of money(NO it's not an IGE reference, well now it is...@#%^!)
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
Do what now?
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
Ever wonder how you know what you know? Or why you don't get what others take for granted? It seems our psychic powers and our ability to "fit in" both depend on multiple mirror neuron systems - and the breadth of our social exposures and experience. Makes sense to me.
Everyone has innate psychic ability, according to the advertising copy for psychic training programs and writers like Sufi Idries Shah. Training involves activating the part of the brain that perceives, and making the process conscious. Different schools use various ways to open these very real pathways in the brain and help people develop their "psychic" abilities. And it sounds like these guys are talking about developing multiple mirror neuron systems.
Too often, our society shuts down and suppresses our innate abilities, leaving us with only a primitive shadow of what is possible. And the mainstream media tends to suppress psychic development. Multiple mirror neuron systems are not developed, only a few. The number of mirror neuron systems are limited, and kept primitive: individuals' empathetic powers are twisted to become a basic "I like, I buy" imperative; and violence simply begets violence, not psychic awareness or understanding.
Military applications of this kind of knowledge are another story, addressed elsewhere on this site.
My questions:
What do you think our world would be like if the scientific knowledge about mirror neurons was used to help individuals learn and grow, instead of using it to develop psycho-weapons and manipulate people?
How might we apply this knowledge responsibly, to benefit individuals and the whole of humankind?
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
Is that kind of like a Mexican Hayride?
wheeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
Indeed?
Edited, Jun 27th 2006 at 9:37pm EDT by Buffyisagoddess
Bring back numbers. IP ban a certain college in Chicago. Ban random people. Sex and debauchery, that kind of thing.
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
A community college in Chicago. And you damn well know why Kao!
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
Kelvyquayo
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
Z so I would never have to see the "word" Orz again.
5. What's my favorite color?
The color of money(NO it's not an IGE reference, well now it is...@#%^!)
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
Elderon said
Quote:
42
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
Do what now?
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
Ever wonder how you know what you know? Or why you don't get what others take for granted? It seems our psychic powers and our ability to "fit in" both depend on multiple mirror neuron systems - and the breadth of our social exposures and experience. Makes sense to me.
Everyone has innate psychic ability, according to the advertising copy for psychic training programs and writers like Sufi Idries Shah. Training involves activating the part of the brain that perceives, and making the process conscious. Different schools use various ways to open these very real pathways in the brain and help people develop their "psychic" abilities. And it sounds like these guys are talking about developing multiple mirror neuron systems.
Too often, our society shuts down and suppresses our innate abilities, leaving us with only a primitive shadow of what is possible. And the mainstream media tends to suppress psychic development. Multiple mirror neuron systems are not developed, only a few. The number of mirror neuron systems are limited, and kept primitive: individuals' empathetic powers are twisted to become a basic "I like, I buy" imperative; and violence simply begets violence, not psychic awareness or understanding.
Military applications of this kind of knowledge are another story, addressed elsewhere on this site.
My questions:
What do you think our world would be like if the scientific knowledge about mirror neurons was used to help individuals learn and grow, instead of using it to develop psycho-weapons and manipulate people?
How might we apply this knowledge responsibly, to benefit individuals and the whole of humankind?
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
Is that kind of like a Mexican Hayride?
wheeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
Indeed?
Edited, Jun 27th 2006 at 9:37pm EDT by Buffyisagoddess
DSD wrote:
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
The Hershey Cow
Hershey's choloate milk IS the absolute best on earth.
Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
1. Through an unexpected database error, and while all staff is away on retreat for the weekend, you suddenly find yourself with forum Admin powers. What do you do?
Two words: Bruce Almighty
2. As an interstellar freight cargo ship captain, you are startled and dismayed to discover your craft and cargo of nuclear weaons out of control in low orbit above the earth. You are going to crash, and obliterate a 2,000 square mile area, but you have enough control to determine where you crash at. Land, Ocean, polar ice caps, etc. So what do you aim for and why?
Katie's residence.
3. You find yourself in posession of an extra throwing pie whilst ina group of asylumites. Who do you pie in the face?
That varies depending if the pie contains ******* Trioxide.
4. If you had to eliminate one letter from your keyboard forever, and could never again use it, which letter would it be?
The Menu Button that resides next to the Start Menu Buttion on the bottom right part of a keyboard.
5. What's my favorite color?
achromatic?
6. If this quiz were graded, what would you score the person above you?
"A" for effort, and only effort.
7. Bobby has 2 apples. Susy has 13 and 1/2 apples. They are both hit by a train travelling eastbound at 34 MPH. Aaron was hit by a train going 23 MPH westbound. What kind of cow makes the best chocolate milk on tuesdays?
I would say Cattle.
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
The Aardvark (Orycteropus afer) is a medium-sized mammal native to Africa The name comes from the Dutch for "earth pig" (aarde earth, vark pig), because early settlers from Europe thought it resembled a pig (although Aardvarks are not closely related to pigs).
The Aardvark is the only surviving member of the family Orycteropodidae and of the order Tubulidentata. The Aardvark was originally placed in the same genus as the South American anteaters because of superficial similarities which, it is now known, are the result of convergent evolution, not common ancestry. (For the same reason, Aardvarks bear a striking first-glance resemblance to the marsupial bilbies and bandicoots of Australasia, which are not placental mammals at all.)
The oldest known Tubulidentata fossils have been found in Kenya and date to the early Miocene. Although the relationships of Tubulidentata are unknown, they are probably Ungulates. They spread to Europe and southern Asia during the later Miocene and early Pliocene periods. Three genera of the family Orycteropodidae are known: Leptorycteropus, Myorycteropus, and Orycteropus, the surviving Aardvark. A genus from Madagascar may be related to them, called Plesiorycteropus.
The most distinctive characteristic of the Tubulidentata is (as the name implies) their teeth which, instead of having a pulp cavity, have lots of thin tubes of dentine, each containing pulp and held together by cementum. The teeth have no enamel coating and are worn away and regrow continuously. Aardvarks are born with conventional incisors and canines at the front of the jaw, but these fall out and are not replaced. In adult Aardvarks, the only teeth are the molars at the back of the jaw.
Aardvarks are only vaguely pig-like; the body is stout with an arched back; the limbs are of moderate length. The front feet have lost the pollex (or 'thumb')—resulting in four toes—but the rear feet have all five toes. Each toe bears a large, robust nail which is somewhat flattened and shovel-like, and appears to be intermediate between a claw and a hoof. The ears are disproportionately long and the tail very thick at the base with a gradual taper. The greatly elongated head is set on a short thick neck, and at the end of the snout is a disk in which the nostrils open. The mouth is typical of species that feed on termites: small and tubular. Aardvarks have long, thin, protrusible tongues and elaborate structures supporting a keen sense of smell.
Weight is typically between 40 and 65kg; length is usually between 1 and 1.3m. Aardvarks are a pale yellowish gray in color, often stained reddish-brown by soil. The coat is thin and the animal's primary protection is its tough skin; Aardvarks have been known to sleep in a recently excavated ant nest, so well does it protect them.
In the past, several individual species of Aardvark were named, however current knowledge indicates that there is only one species, Orycteropus afer, with several subspecies; 18 have been listed but most are regarded as invalid.
Aardvarks are nocturnal and solitary creatures that feed almost exclusively on ants and termites. An Aardvark emerges from its burrow in the late afternoon or shortly after sunset, and forages over a considerable home range, swinging its long nose from side to side to pick up the scent of food. When a concentration of ants or termites is found, the Aardvark digs into it with its powerful front legs, keeping its long ears upright to listen for predators, and takes up an astonishing number of insects with its long, sticky tongue—as many as 50,000 in one night has been recorded. They are exceptionally fast diggers, but otherwise move rather slowly.
Aside from digging out ants and termites, aardvarks also excavate burrows to live in: temporary sites scattered around the home range as refuges, and the main burrow which is used for breeding. Main burrows can be deep and extensive, have several entrances, and be 13m long. Aardvarks change the layout of their home burrow regularly, and from time to time move on and make a new one. Only mothers and young share burrows.
After a gestation period of 7 months, a single young weighing around 2kg is born, and is able to leave the burrow to accompany its mother after only two weeks. At six months of age it is digging its own burrows, but it will often remain with the mother until the next mating season. Aardvarks live for up to 10 years in captivity.
Aardvarks are distributed across most of sub-Saharan Africa, and although killed by humans both for their flesh and for their teeth (which are used as decorations), do not appear to be threatened.
Aardvark is always the first noun in the English dictionary.
9. Do you like aardvaarks?
<this answer unintentionally left blank>
whooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!
Edited, Jun 27th 2006 at 11:54pm EDT by Rimesume
1. Change what every says and make a soap across all forums.
2. Land, theres plenty of it.
3. Whoever's closest?
4. Q
5. Scotch
6. 8/10
7. White and Brown spotted ones
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
9. No
2. Land, theres plenty of it.
3. Whoever's closest?
4. Q
5. Scotch
6. 8/10
7. White and Brown spotted ones
8. <this question intentionally left blank>
9. No
Recent Visitors: 425
All times are in CST
Anonymous Guests (425)
- Forums
- Cross Site
- The Asylum
- It'sa Quizpoll?
© 2024 Fanbyte LLC