So, I was listening to the radio the other day, and the hosts were asking thier gay callers to describe what it was like for them to come out to their parents. During the course of the discussion, there was a point made by two of the hosts that they felt that being gay was not a choice, and then the throwaway comment that being bisexual was.
I took Nobby's quiz, and was 'gayer' than I thought it would be, if anything I suppose, because gender identitites are changing at a rate never before seen, and I suppose I have a wider definition of my female-ness than the quiz would expect. Also, IMHO, that quiz doesn't measure attraction to the same sex as much as your percieved gender identity. But I digress.
It made me think back to college, to a friend I had that was SO eager to be the poster-child for open-mindedness that she became dangerously free in her sexual favors, and she didn't limit herself to just one sex. Now I can't honestly say I know, but at the time she told me she had discovered she was bisexual, and, knowing her past issues and traumas, I just thought to myself "You need to be loved so bad you don't care who does the loving". Now, for her, I think it was a choice, and I didn't see her as a "true" bisexual even though she slept with several men and women, but never once attempted a relationship with her female partners or introduced them to friends or family as significant others like she did with her men.
In my mind, the idea of a gay person means that not only are you sexually attracted to the same gender, but that your entire idea of love and happiness revolves around the fulfillment of your romantic ideal, and that's a multidimensional concept that involves more than heavy petting and random one-nighters. In other words, it's a lifestyle.
I did meet a woman once who was bisexual, and we worked together for two years. During that time, she dated both men and women, and her attitude towards it was that she had just realized at one point in her life that she didn't care what body her soulmate came in, and that she could love one as well as the other. This seemed to me less of a choice, and more of a self-realization. Since my experience with the bisexual community has been so limited, though, I find I have no real stance on whether or not this is a chosen lifestyle, something you're born with, or a combination of both. I understand there is even a significant stigma within the Gay and Lesbian Community towars Bisexuals, like they just want to have their cake and eat it, too. I was looking to see if any of you (including Yanari, as the obvious Token if she is so inclined) had any thoughts on this.
Edited, Jun 23rd 2006 at 10:45am EDT by Atomicflea