An England football fan excitedly takes his seat in the stadium to watch his team play in the World Cup Finals. To his amazement, despite the match being a sell-out, the seat next to him is empty. He asks the chap next to the empty seat how this can be.
"Well my Wife and I never missed a single England game in the 30 years we've been married"
"So how come she's not here today?"
"She died last Saturday" comes the reply.
"Oh sh[Aqua][/Aqua]it mate. So sorry to hear that. Couldn't you have given her ticket to one of your friends?"
"No, pal. . .
They're all at the funeral."
Barrum-bum Pssshhh
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World Cup joke recycledFollow
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Three Canadians and three Americans were traveling to a hockey game.
The three Americans each buy tickets and watch as the three Canadians buy only a single ticket. How are the three people going to travel on only one ticket?", asks an American. Watch and you'll see," says a Canadian. They all board the train. The Americans take their respective seats but all three Canadians cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says, "Ticket please!" The door opens a crack, a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Americans see this and agree it was quite a clever idea.
So after the game they decide to copy the Canadians on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment the Canadians don't buy a ticket at all.
How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed American.
"Watch and you'll see," replies a Canadian.
When they board the train the three Americans cram into a bathroom and the three Canadians cram into another bathroom nearby. Once the train leaves the station, one of the Canadians leaves and walks over to the other bathroom where the Americans are hiding, knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please!"
The three Americans each buy tickets and watch as the three Canadians buy only a single ticket. How are the three people going to travel on only one ticket?", asks an American. Watch and you'll see," says a Canadian. They all board the train. The Americans take their respective seats but all three Canadians cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says, "Ticket please!" The door opens a crack, a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Americans see this and agree it was quite a clever idea.
So after the game they decide to copy the Canadians on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment the Canadians don't buy a ticket at all.
How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed American.
"Watch and you'll see," replies a Canadian.
When they board the train the three Americans cram into a bathroom and the three Canadians cram into another bathroom nearby. Once the train leaves the station, one of the Canadians leaves and walks over to the other bathroom where the Americans are hiding, knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please!"
Bode - 100 Holy Paladin - Lightbringer
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