Thats it.Follow

In a normal situation where as both parties in a relation ship is putting forth 100%/100%, you might have a case.

The more I read up on Bodhi, the more I get the hindsight that it's a range between 0%/200%-5%/195%.

In the end, say they grow old together, she will die remotly happy (because, of course, nothing Bodhi will do can TRULY make her happy; he just doesn't understand her!), and Bodhi will die miserable; full of regrets and what ifs.

Go back up and read his post on how the romantic dinner he setup went. I'll rest my case with that.


Roses and a teddy bear made her MAD, for Christ's sake.

what DSD said X 2.

Bros before hos.

Good question. I would consider intensive couples therapy before giving up MMOs. If you're going to give it a go, why not try something that might actually stop the hemmoraging hole in your aorta, instead of putting a band-aid on the scratch on your leg?

She had made up her mind to leave me. In this type of a situation where a relationship is about to fall apart I have a tendency to become a cold f'ucking ******* so that I get hurt less. So I made no real efforts to contact her and was making plans on getting a new apartment, assuaging my own ego by stating that I had been so much of a good boyfriend and trying to place the blame on her. Then, I think it was like 5am on Sunday morning and I had an epiphany. By epiphany I truly mean an epiphany one of those moments where you realize something in a totally new light. Kind of hard to explain but when you are pushed to the limit and forced to see past your own ********* I think the last time that happened to me was when me and brother came to terms with eachother during a fistfight (we've gotten along ever since).

There she is at 27, she wants to be working towards something. She is old enough to be worried about becoming her parents etc. There I am working, hanging out with friends and playing video games but not really going anywhere or making any plans just doing the same old thing I have since I graduated highschool. Its been eating at her for a while and I had resisted most attempts to enlighten me to the fact.

So I had this epiphany that she is absolutely right, that I was an idiot. That its time to grow up and start working for something and that she is the girl worth doing it for. It was a little more indepth and personal than that but I don't care to go into too much detail. Anyways it was 5am and I had to work at 7:30 am. So I went into work, then feigned being sick. Rushed home and put my slow monkey brain to work thinking about how I could do things right when she was ready to dump me and move on. So I played phone tag and figured out where she was staying at the moment. Sent flowers and a teddy bear to work. Called her in the evening asking if she wanted to meet somewhere the next day, said my piece and she started crying (happy crying).

We met up the next day and had a long discussion. In the end we agreed to really work for it. However these type of situations tend to be followed by a honeymoon period and then by both parties falling back into old routines. While we managed to live together quite well she is worried that going right back to it might lead to that problem. Hence the living apart.

This weekend will be our second anniversary. We will be going on our first 'date' in a long time, which will actually be a repeat of our actual first date when we went to the fair.

I dunno maybe it will work out and maybe it won't but at least I truly made the effort.

I'm glad to hear you've worked things out with your significant other. I hope it all works out for you.

I'm sorry you're quitting gaming cold turkey. It doesn't sound like that is your real issue or the best solution in the long run. It's not the gaming itself - it's the amount of time you spend doing it. Depriving yourself of something you enjoy may lead to resentment. If it comes to that, try to find some common ground with her.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a hobby you like, no matter what age you are. As long as it's done in moderation, as Ambrya mentioned last night. It sounds like you are going to be focusing on her and interests you share. That's awesome. Just find the balance, Grasshopper.

It's funny, one of the first ground rules I put out there when I started dating my wife is that I'm into gaming and it's a hobby that I won't give up. It could be worse, I told her, I could be out every night getting ********** whoring about, or getting stoned - all wonderful vices, don't get me wrong.

Of course, knowing how important she and our relationship meant to me, I made sure any of my hobbies or distractions didn't cause a problem for our relationship, which was and still is my number one priority. Having lived the lone wolf (i.e., hermit) lifestyle makes one acutely aware of one's priorities in life.

I'm lucky that it turns out that she was totally into gaming as well. Still, even with both of us into gaming, we make the time for other aspects of our life - socializing, sports, exercising, fixing up our home, books, movies, plays, music, politics, etc. You know, necessary things to build memories on.

Of course, like DSD and I said last night - you'll be back, they always come back - it may not be EQ2 or WoW, but something shiny will catch your eye - *cough Vanguard *cough *cough...

That was you? had I known, I'd have let the wife take pics.



Edited, Jun 14th 2006 at 11:53am EDT by Elderon

You know, I had this long post going about personal epiphanies and how choosing to change in accordance with that was probably was what was happening here, but the Bodhi had to post about what had happened and completely wasted the time I took to write it all out.

GFY, douchebag




Yay! Now, go sweep her off her feet and never let her catch her breath.

Good Luck Bhodi, you Fu[Aqua][/Aqua]cking idiot.

All I read there is that you feel the need to grow up, and think that giving up things you enjoy will help.

What are you, 25? Go the whole hog, buy a pipe and slippers and a subscription to "Grandfather Clock Weekly". Then you'll truly be mature and satisfied, and she'll sit knitting or quilting by your side.

Because of course, at 25, you should no longer give in to immature whims like MMOGSs. Hell, as soon as I hit 25 I wish I'd sold all my guitars and quit playing in Bands - I'm sure I'd still be happily married now .

Gonna need some seriously heavy-duty wallcovering to paper over those cracks.

(Or you could just grow a pair)

You sound more like you are trying to justify giving up on something you enjoy than making an actual epiphany.

I think Nobby said it best.


Replacing something else you like...with something you like is bad now? Just alternate.

Or you can give up biking, fishing, and other activities that involve actual people and just concentrate on making her happy. They just take up time that could be used on things she'd rather you be doing.

Eventually, she'll be the happiest woman alive, knowing that she's going out with her mirror image instead of some other individual with his own soul.

Yay!

Edited, Jun 14th 2006 at 12:09pm EDT by Exodus

I think you're just being overly cynical.

Giving up the MMO's for an indefinite period of time is not going to make him into a soulless puppet.

I made a similar life-choice (cut out a lot of the extra to make myself a future), but I wasn't going out with anyone at the time. Matter of fact, the failed relationships I had prior could be traced to my lack of direction (well, in part. Mostly because they were fu[aqua][/aqua]cking crazy, but I can't be held 100% blameless). Does that make my decision to do what I felt was better for myself more justified than his?



In all my lurking here, I've never seen him do important things on just whim, or because somebody made him do it. I don't see why that should change now, especially considering how much he struggled with himself over it in here.

see what you get when you ask a gaming forum advice on wimmens?

If that's a problem for you, turning gay may be your only choice.

I've never known a woman that was ever content with the way things were. They always seem to seek improvement. After marriage, you need to make more money. Always. You need a nicer place. Always. If you have a nice home, you have to do home improvements.

Ya know the "Honey Do" lists? It's no joke. And it all stems from the longing for improvement thing.

In the 20 years my parents lived at my childhood home I cant remember a time where our house wasnt being "improved". And I assure you it wasnt my father's idea.

Guys, well at least myself, seem to be more inclined to just live the life if everthing is working. Dont need a new job or big raise if I can pay all my bills and eat things other than Top Ramen. Dont need a nicer place if my apartment holds all my stuff and gives me a place to sleep.

Maybe it's lack of ambition. meh.

Women give guys direction. They are the bosses, really. If you fight that, especially in this day and age, you are in for some friction. I embraced it from day one and my wife and I get along wonderfully. We've only been living together about 3 years, but we've never had any big arguments. *whip crack*

At least I assume that's what your getting at. And this may be several days late, as what I quoted was from last week... I also tend to make vast, uneducated, generallizations.

My

Weak.