Thats it.Follow

I'm going gay. I've had enough of women.

Sabo, where do I sign the charter and learn the secret handshake?

I thought the secret handshake was actually the shaking of another body part.

What happened Bodhi? Your birthday weekend apparently has not begun on an auspicious event.

Oh dear, what word did she misuse this time?

You know, you could just commit to making it work. I know it's a big ego sacrifice at times, but I'd say that it's worth the effort in the long run.


I say this as I'm only a few months along with a woman whom I'm planning to move in with shortly, so PM me that handshake info when you get it, wouldja?

Why? What's the problem?

Edited, Jun 10th 2006 at 11:26am EST by Tare

I've been thinking that question over and I don't think I can properly express what I think is wrong because its tangled mess of a knot of issues.

If I had to address the core issue I would have to say its her persistant belief that in order for anything to be meaningful things must break out of the mundane into some transcendental moment.

So if I get off work early, come home and clean the house, cook her a beautiful dinner and spend the evening showering her with attention that 'nice' but in her view if I really loved her and cared I would have taken her out to dinner at some exotic restaurant followed by a evening of indepth soul sharing conversation leaving us in tears (I exagerate but you get the picture).

I realize that things have come to a head. The fundamental difference in how we view things (my contentment with where I am in life and her need to break new ground in the hope that contentment lies around the next corner) has led to a situation where as much as we like/enjoy/love each other we are gonna chafe over it. Either she is going to resent me for holding her back or I am going to resent her from pulling me away from friends/family etc.

After seriously trying to resolve the issue no headway has been made so its to the point where we know the break up is inevitable but we both really like each other and are sad about it. Plus the whole living together, 2 years invested into the relationship thing is just /blah.

Anyways my ****** has been aired, the girlfriend is spending the weekend at a girlfriends house. I think once she gets back I will do my best to end it amicably.

Bodhi you're reasonably intelligent* have you and her attempted to lay everything out on the table. Just sit down and tell her you're happy with where you are etc. And listen to what she has to say in return? Is there no real common ground that you guys can use to at least meet halfway? I mean it sounds like you're happy and she is as well. I just hate to see you give up after all that time.

Nobody is going to have everything the way that they want it. But there's always the chance of finding the happy medium between the two. Look around the house while she's gone and try to picture it without her there. I mean are we talking to the point where this is unsalvageable or is there a chance to compromise on things yet?

*-Sarcasm

I'll catch for you Bodhi

This is the third time in a matter of months, you two have had some crisis issue come up. Im thinking that these issues will continue to pop up on a continuous basis if you stay together. I know you like drama and if you can handle it, go for it. But if even this is a little too much drama in your life, I think its time for you to suck it up and end it. The longer you're in a relationship you both know is not working, the less time you have to get out there and find Mrs. Right

Edited, Jun 10th 2006 at 12:54pm EST by DSD

I know. And I can sit here and post away with ease as it doesnt affect me, but honestly I can sympathize. Everything is easier said than done. And no matter what you decide to do, sit down and think real hard both with your mind and your heart. Make sure both are on the same page. Good Luck on whatever you decide.

Either way Bhod it's going to be a tough ride for ya.Do what is best for

you

Edited, Jun 10th 2006 at 1:42pm EST by johnnny

I've heard that it's easier to start switch hitting instead of going from right to left like that.

Bodhi:

Sorry to hear things are likely going to end. I understand all to well that even in a relationship that isn't working, ending it is incredibly hard. You have my sympathy.

For what it's worth, after having been with the same man for 10 years, I can say that a true life together is built on the little things you do for one another, not the huge, but ultimately fleeting, gestures. A huge romantic gesture exists in the moment--it happens, then it's gone and while it might leave a pleasant memory, ultimately it has little impact on the relationship.

The most meaningful things are the little things that form the framework of your life together. A dozen long-stemmed roses are meaningless compared to all the times when I am struggling with my recurring insomnia and Mr. Ambrya (without me ever asking him to do so) wakes up and very gently rubs my back to help me relax and get to sleep--even though he's got to be to work in three hours and needs his sleep probably more than I do. He values my packing a lunch for him to take to work several times a week much more than my cooking an elaborate candle-light dinner.

It sounds as though your GF just isn't mature enough yet to recognize the value of the "little" things. Don't give up that habit of making those sorts of little efforts to make life together better in your future relationships, though--someday you will find someone who values them for what they are truly worth.



Edited, Jun 10th 2006 at 2:04pm EST by Ambrya