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Getting married to a Cobra and all that...Follow

#1 Jun 05 2006 at 9:21 AM Rating: Good
Funny stuff :

Quote:
BHUBANESWAR, India (AFP) - A woman who fell in love with a snake has reportedly married the reptile at a traditional Hindu wedding celebrated by 2,000 guests in India's Orissa state.

Bimbala Das wore a silk saree for the ceremony Wednesday at Atala village near the Orissa state capital Bhubaneswar.

Priests chanted mantras to seal the union, but the snake failed to come out of a nearby ant hill where it lives, the Press Trust of India (PTI) said.

A brass replica snake stood in for the hesitant groom.

"Though snakes cannot speak nor understand, we communicate in a peculiar way," Das, 30, told the agency.

"Whenever I put milk near the ant hill where the cobra lives, it always comes out to drink.

"I always get to see it every time I go near the ant hill. It has never harmed me," she added.

Villagers welcomed the wedding in the belief it would bring good fortune and laid on a feast for the big day.

Snakes and particularly the King Cobra are venerated in India as religious symbols worn by Lord Shiva, the god of destruction.

Das, from a lower caste, converted to the animal-loving vegetarian Vaishnav sect whose local elders gave her permission to marry the cobra, the world's largest venomous snake that can grow up to five metres.

"I am happy," said her mother Dyuti Bhoi, who has two other daughters and two sons to marry off.

"Bimbala was ill," Bhoi told local OTV channel. "We had no money to treat her. Then she started offering milk to the snake ... she was cured. That made her fall in love."

Das has moved into a hut built close to the ant hill since the wedding.

Earlier this year, a tribal girl was married off to a dog on the outskirts of Bhubaneswar.


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...

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The honeymoon must've been fun =/
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#2 Jun 05 2006 at 9:23 AM Rating: Excellent
Will swallow your soul
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Well, at least she knew what she was getting.
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#3 Jun 05 2006 at 9:25 AM Rating: Decent
I bet she can play the hell out of a flute.
#4 Jun 05 2006 at 9:31 AM Rating: Decent
I blame gay marrige...
#5 Jun 05 2006 at 9:32 AM Rating: Decent
The news wrote:
Earlier this year, a tribal girl was married off to a dog on the outskirts of Bhubaneswar.


I think I saw that movie.
#6 Jun 05 2006 at 9:47 AM Rating: Good
Quote:
I blame gay marrige...


I blame zoophiliac Marrige, that *******!
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#7 Jun 05 2006 at 9:51 AM Rating: Good
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I wonder what the children will look like.
#8 Jun 05 2006 at 9:54 AM Rating: Decent
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Must be one of those one eyed trouser snakes.
#9 Jun 05 2006 at 10:12 AM Rating: Good
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
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Did they take their vows in Parceltongue?



Harry Potter ftw
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#10 Jun 05 2006 at 10:16 AM Rating: Excellent
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Nobby wrote:
Did they take their vows in Parceltongue?


Did the FedEx man officiate or something?

#11 Jun 05 2006 at 10:16 AM Rating: Good
YAY! Canaduhian
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I thought this thread had something to do with GI Joe.

Or hoped, rather.

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#12 Jun 05 2006 at 10:18 AM Rating: Good
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6,471 posts
Quote:
"Whenever I put milk near the ant hill where the cobra lives, it always comes out to drink.

"I always get to see it every time I go near the ant hill. It has never harmed me," she added.


Psh...if that's all it took...

Edited, Mon Jun 5 11:42:06 2006 by Eske
#13 Jun 05 2006 at 11:48 AM Rating: Decent
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Princess Tare wrote:
I thought this thread had something to do with GI Joe.

Or hoped, rather.



Me too Smiley: frown
#14 Jun 05 2006 at 12:07 PM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
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TILT
Princess Tare wrote:
I thought this thread had something to do with GI Joe.
I was going to make a Cobra Commander joke upon my first reading but was distracted by real work Smiley: frown
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#15 Jun 05 2006 at 12:21 PM Rating: Decent
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Eske wrote:
Quote:
"Whenever I put milk near the ant hill where the cobra lives, it always comes out to drink.

"I always get to see it every time I go near the ant hill. It has never harmed me," she added.

Psh...if that's all it took...

Her milk brings all the snakes to the yard!
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#16 Jun 05 2006 at 12:24 PM Rating: Decent
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Debalic wrote:
Eske wrote:
Quote:
"Whenever I put milk near the ant hill where the cobra lives, it always comes out to drink.

"I always get to see it every time I go near the ant hill. It has never harmed me," she added.

Psh...if that's all it took...

Her milk brings all the snakes to the yard!


As much as I hate you for using that insipid song, I must admit I cracked a small smirk on that one.
Kudos.
#17 Jun 05 2006 at 12:26 PM Rating: Decent
Prodigal Son
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20,643 posts
Song? Smiley: confused

I don't know where that phrase is even from, originally. Just noticed it around on forums.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#18 Jun 05 2006 at 1:05 PM Rating: Good
Jophiel wrote:
Princess Tare wrote:
I thought this thread had something to do with GI Joe.
I was going to make a Cobra Commander joke upon my first reading but was distracted by real work Smiley: frown
Smiley: lol So far, "Cobra" instantly brings up references to a cartoon/toy of days long gone to at least 4 people in this thread. Stop it, you are all making me feel old. Smiley: mad

It also made me think of Cobra Kai. "Sweep the leg"!

Fuc[Aqua][/Aqua]kers.
#19 Jun 05 2006 at 1:13 PM Rating: Decent
Debalic wrote:
Song? Smiley: confused

I don't know where that phrase is even from, originally. Just noticed it around on forums.


Milkshake

You deserve it.
#20 Jun 05 2006 at 1:50 PM Rating: Decent
Quote:
Milkshake

You deserve it.


Here, have some some truly awful snake jokes:

How do snakes show they love you?
They give you hugs and hisses!

What happens when a snake gets mad?
It throws a hisssssy-fit!

What kind of snakes get to hug the bride at a wedding?
Garter snakes!

What do snakes put on their kitchen floors?
Rep-tiles!

Why did the wife snake leave her husband at the party?
She thought he was making an asp out of himself!

What clothing might sister snakes share?
Co-bras!

What does an exhibitionistic snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.

What do you call a snake who works for the governement ?
A civil serpent !

Why did the two boa constrictors get married ?
Because they had a crush on each other !

What's the best thing about deadly snakes ?
They've got poisonality !
#21 Jun 05 2006 at 1:53 PM Rating: Decent
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NephthysWanderer the Charming wrote:
Princess Tare wrote:
I thought this thread had something to do with GI Joe.

Or hoped, rather.



Me too Smiley: frown


Myself as well.
#22 Jun 05 2006 at 1:55 PM Rating: Decent
MonxDoT wrote:
Here, have some some truly awful snake jokes:

<insert jokes here>


Easily your most coherent and informative post to date.
#23 Jun 05 2006 at 2:36 PM Rating: Good
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2,880 posts
Quote:
"Though snakes cannot speak nor understand, we communicate in a peculiar way," Das, 30, told the agency.


"It knows when I'm on the rag."

Quote:
"Whenever I put milk near the ant hill where the cobra lives, it always comes out to drink.


"It moves towards food that I put on the ground. It must love me."

Quote:
"I always get to see it every time I go near the ant hill. It has never harmed me," she added.


"It hasn't slapped me for being retarded yet. Best boyfriend I've ever had."

Quote:
"I am happy," said her mother Dyuti Bhoi, who has two other daughters and two sons to marry off.


"I really hate my children."

Quote:
"Bimbala was ill," Bhoi told local OTV channel. "We had no money to treat her. Then she started offering milk to the snake ... she was cured. That made her fall in love."


"I have this magical rock that keeps tigers away. You don't see any tigers around do you? I love my rock."

Quote:
Earlier this year, a tribal girl was married off to a dog on the outskirts of Bhubaneswar.


Pffft, *****.
#24 Jun 06 2006 at 3:00 AM Rating: Decent
if they fly somewhere for the honeymoon, will that be the basis for "snakes on a plane 2"?

THERES A MOTHER F'ING SNAKE ON THE PLANE, AND IT'S MARRIED!
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