Been seeing this girl...Follow

I have a question regarding this girl I have been seeing for about the last 3 months or so. A little background first. I have taken her out to many a nice restaurant (not fancy fancy, but $40-60 range for two) and have paid for random little things we do around the city as well. On memorial day I was stuck at work all day, and asked her to hit the beach with me before sundown, since it was such a nice day. When we got back to her car a few hours later, I was kind of mentally exhausted, and didn't feel like thinking of what else we could do for the evening, and really didn't feel like shelling out any more dollars.

So far, I have been the only one to ever make any suggestions on what we should do, or where we should go. She has not extended her mental capacity beyond inviting me to her house which has a broken AC system (literally 105 degrees in there) to do the "hangout" thing, which is alright with me most of the time anyway.

So, as we sit in her car, I decided not to be the one to come up with anything, because I really didn't feel like thinking about it, and she turned into another person, and got all mad and sh*t when I put her on the spot. She thought I actually had something in mind but was trying to get her to guess what it was, which is laughable. I am suspicious to think that she just wants to do everything possible not to suggest something so that she doesn't have to spend anything (I am serious).

So, tonight I will be heading over there to her house, and we will probably end up watching TV or something and just chilling. My question is, should I stick to my guns and make this girl dedicate the 2 minutes of brain power to come up with something, or just give in and formulate my own plan of events for the night, which is easily done. I have no problem showing someone a good time, its just nice when someone takes the wheel every once in awhile ya know? Comments? And no B.S. if you please.

If a guy phones me and ask me out, I assume he has plans. Not asking me what do I want to do, after he shows up. If you don't want to spend money go for a hike, back a picnic lunch. I know I love that ****. Anyone can take me out for dinner and a movie its the guy that shows some orginality and intiative, wins the day. When being courted, i usually won't make any plans, phone him or suggest anything until where in a ongoing relantionship(then i take over and make his life hell); how long that takes is well different each and everytime sometimes its only 5 dates sometimes the dating ritual has gone of for 3months.

Edited, Sat Jun 3 21:07:43 2006 by DVEight

Well, if you want her to do something you're going to have to tell her what you want. If this is important to you, or if it means something to you that it doesn't mean to her, then the two of you need to talk about that.

Assume that neither of you reads minds, and go from there.

Does she spend any money at all or suggest that she pay for anything? Does she work and have independent financial resources?

If you feel like you have to pay for everything, then either she is following really old-fashioned, traditional norms or she's somewhat of a gold-digger and bases the relationship on the amoun of money you spend. If you feel like it's the latter, then you need to talk with her. If it's the former, suggest things that have little to no monetary value. Go on a picnic, take a hike through nature, take her to a museum. How she reacts to what your plans are will give you a better clue.

Also, if you aren't sure she can formulate plans for an evening out, suggest a couple of ideas and let her pick. She might be feeling unsure of herself about how to suggest something and afraid she's coming across as a demanding date if she asks to do something.

You've never been invited to a Mystery Science Theater 3000 party, have you?

~Blix

I remember I used to rate you down, but I don't remember why.

It must have been justified though, no reason to stop now.

Yeah, she'll probably try to convince him the demon-spawn is his, too.

I feel warm and tingly that you remember me in such a profound way. I must have made an impression, but honestly I don't remember the conversations I had months ago on here, its been awhile. Thanks for being a great fan.

Anyhow, after the last time I tried to talk with this girl, she got all upset, so I backed off from the whole topic. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, and approached her differently last night and found out that she had thought this whole time that I was the "I am man, hear me roar" type that has to buy everything, which is not the case since I am but a humble, poor college student :D After that she promptly took me out for dessert. All is right in the jungle.

Hooray for communication!

Nexa

Anyhow, after the last time I tried to talk with this girl, she got all upset, so I backed off from the whole topic. I gave her the benefit of the doubt

Try not to forget how well that worked.