Canadian Border Patrols (Rated R)Follow

Never really noticed any.

... who the heck are you?

Such ... good spelling...

The conversation went something like this:
femaleGuard: "Did you not like big tits or something?"
Friend1: "Sorry?"
FemaleGuard1: "My tits you punk. There's so big and Round I just had them done and you didnt say anything about them." *Note* We were at stand-still traffic and it was dark so I couldnt see her breasts... *End Note*
Friend1: "I'm sorry I must've missed them."
femaleGuard: "Pull into security." *Another Note* Not one of perhaps the 10 vehicles all full of Aliens we saw in front of us had been pulled into the security office .

As we enter the security office we're greeted with a rather weird Moan. There are perhaps 20-30 others wearning nothing but fish net stockings an strapon's along with 6-8 security officers. There are 6 caucasian people sitting Hot Tub to the left while there are at least 20 people of mixed races (black, hispanic, asian, all were present) in a long line to the right handcuffed to polls with ball gags in there mouths. My caucasian friend (friend1) is sent to the left while my hispanic friend and I are asked to move to the right. Another conversation between a guard and my caucasian friend ensues:

femaleGuard: "Do you have any drugs in your car?"
Friend1: "No."
femaleGuard: "Damn I was hopeing to get high"
Friend1: "You can search the car if you like. There's nothing there."
femaleGuard: "Damn and my buzz is Wearing off"

Meanwhile, a conversation between three guards and my hispanic friend ensues:

femaleGuard1: "Are there any drugs in your vehicle?"
femaleGuard2: "are there any farm animals in the vehicle eaither."
Friend2: "No there's nothing in the car."
femaleGuard1: "You're lying. You reak of Sheep."
femaleGuard2&3: *Nod* "yeah you do."
Friend2: "No I grew up on a Farm."
femaleGuard1: "You and you, give us your IDs for checking."
*My friend and I hand them our IDs*
*We see them take them into the back room to a Xerox machine with Xerox clearly labeled on the side so they can copy the info for whatever purposes.*
femaleGuard1: *talking to Friend2* "Your liscense is covered in Goat ****."
Friend2: "No its not, I haven't ever touched any goats."
femaleGuard2: "That's a lie, We heard the Bahing from in here."
femaleGuard1: "And you" *talking to me* "Your liscense has tons of traces of cat urine on it."
Me: "I've never touched cats before...."
femaleGuard3: "You guys lookin for trouble? Because this lying is going to land you deep in it."
Me: "Your Xerox machine can detect goats and cat ****?"
femaleGuard1: *Gets out a big black dong* "You calling us liars?"
Me: "Yes I am, there's no way your accusations hold any truth."
femaleGuard3: "Get over here. Strip down to your boxers for searching."
*My friend and I comply. The whole time my caucasian friend is just waiting, no extra checks or anything.*
femaleGuard2: "You're shivering. Let me stick my hands down you boxes to warm you up." *Note* Its 21 degrees outside and they don't have the heat on!!*End Note*
Me: "I'm just cold, I'm almost naked and its snowing outside and 4 sets of doors are open."
FemaleGuard3: "Bulls***."
Friend2: "Be gentel Im a vergin."
Me: "me too."
*femaleGuard 2 slams me to the ground with a night-stick and holds me there*
femaleGuard 2: "Don't resist or try anything buddy. Guard 4 and 5, get behind me and start pounding away."
*Friend1 looks out at them and spots a bag of marijuana in one guard's hand*
Friend1: "Hey hey what's that guy doing with that bag in his hand?"
*femaleGuards 2 and 3 roll a couple up and start smoking."
*femaleGuard 4 hides the bag quickly in his pocket before entering*
*femaleGuard 2 lets me go and hands me my things*
femaleGuard1: "You want some trouble now you got it."
*Everyone then strips naked and a big orgy takes place, I wake up in the morning With the smell of weed in the air and goats walking around"

Happernack, your whining of your camping is moot if you continue to try antagonizing the regulars here. Try being the key word.

twatlips.

I meant that for frog-boy over there.