Long story, probably boring as hell to most.
When I first started dating my wife (almost 12 years ago now), both of us agreed that we did not want kids. No way in Hell, never going to change our minds. My wife decided in January that her biological clock was ticking too hard and that she was doing things that experts term 'nesting'. She's gone off of the Depo-provera shot she's been on since we first hooked up.
However, I still have an aversion to kids. My sister's two kids are the poster children for birth control. The eldest, 6, has serious mood swings, doesn't share well, is an attention ***** and gets extremely loud and rude if you don't give him constant attention. The other, just turned 4, is still going through his terrible two's. He ignores instructions, takes things when told not to, and generally doesn't speak unless he wants something. I can stand to be around them for about fifteen minutes before the first hints at a migraine start to attack. There are exceptions to this- I can spend a lot more time with my wife's nephew and my goddaughter, but again, by the end of a few hours, it's time for them to head the hell home.
How do all of you that have kids cope?!
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Wondroustremor the Flatulent wrote:
How do all of you that have kids cope?!
You love your own kids and all their little annoying, irritating things that they do, you love and see as their quirks and eccentricities. You put up with other people's kids and all those kids' eccentricities are just the proof of how spoiled rotten they really are.
How would you react if your wife does end up pregnant?
Quote:
My sister's two kids are the poster children for birth control. The eldest, 6, has serious mood swings, doesn't share well, is an attention ***** and gets extremely loud and rude if you don't give him constant attention. The other, just turned 4, is still going through his terrible two's. He ignores instructions, takes things when told not to, and generally doesn't speak unless he wants something.
See, this just defines that charming entity known the world over as "other peoples' kids".
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Quote:
How do all of you that have kids cope?!
It's called not being a cu[Darkgray][/Darkgray]nt. You grow some sack, deal with your kids behaviors in an appropriate manner, and teach them what is socially accepted in certain situations. Douchebag kids are often the result of douchebag parents as opposed to just natural douchebaggery.
I blow lots of pot smoke in their faces. saves me money on Ritalin.
What you people think Ritalin grows on trees? Edited, Mon May 22 14:34:00 2006 by fenderputy
If you do not want children and discussed this before marriage, you guys need to see a councilor. Children are a big step and both husband and wife should want them. The children WILL KNOW something is not right. Often if the wife gets pregnant knowing the husband has an aversion to children it ruins marriages and causes a resentment of the parent who didnt want the children towards the children. Dont just go with this to make her happy as it will only go to harm your marriage even more. Counciling.
Note to those thinking of getting married:
* Talk about:
* Money
* Children
* Career Goals
* Religion
* Discipline
* Life Goals
* Do not think you can change the person you are marrying or
that they will change to make you happy.
* Communication is the biggest thing in marriage and if you
arent both on the same page then either come to a mutual
agreement or run like hell.
Note to those thinking of getting married:
* Talk about:
* Money
* Children
* Career Goals
* Religion
* Discipline
* Life Goals
* Do not think you can change the person you are marrying or
that they will change to make you happy.
* Communication is the biggest thing in marriage and if you
arent both on the same page then either come to a mutual
agreement or run like hell.
fenderputy the Shady wrote:
What you people think Ritalin grows on trees? that's waht I tell the little bastards... all I hear is "Daddy, I have a headache, daddy, I can't think clear, daddy, my lungs burn"
shut up and take your medicine
I agree with Katie. If you are both on different pages all of a sudden on kids, you guys need to hash it out. As for handling kids, I am not a kid person. Anyone elses kid might be cute, but I dont want to be babysitting for any of them often. Your own kid is different. They are genetically created with an antihate mechanism to any biological and sometimes adoptive parental unit. Also, Bob makes *your* kid cute for a reason. The only reason children grow up to be adults is because they have a cute factor that works overtime on parental units.
If you do decide to have kids, do not base your ideas on your sisters. While all kids have their terrible phases, in the long run well behaved kids are what they are because their parents loved them well enough to teach them respect. Kids who have the run of the house and walk over their parents are kids who have parents that dont care enough to teach them discipline.
If you do decide to have kids, do not base your ideas on your sisters. While all kids have their terrible phases, in the long run well behaved kids are what they are because their parents loved them well enough to teach them respect. Kids who have the run of the house and walk over their parents are kids who have parents that dont care enough to teach them discipline.
Thanks for the responses- my wife is actually a social worker / psychologist, specialising in family counseling. We've discussed it, and I'm at the stage where, while I'm going through pre-planned-parenting anxiety, I'm sure I'll accept it when it happens. We've done a lot of talking in the past several months.
It's more along the lines of watching my sister's kids and thinking "How the hell am I supposed to deal with that kind of little demon", or seeing kids throw temper tantrums, while their parents keep on walking down Aisle 5.
Yesterday was what brought this topic on- my sister was having a birthday party for the 4-year old, and both he and another decided to come into my yard (my family has a house that's broken up into apartments) and pick the Bobdamned flowers I spent all bloody weekend planting. On a complete tangent, my sis and her husband spoil the little brats rotten. I yelled at my nephew, and when my sister told me off for being hard on her kids, I tore her a new one- basically telling her that at least someone wasn't afraid to discipline them.
I just know my dad used to correct me the old-fashioned way, and while I think that corporal punishment is necessary from time to time, there's a serious line between correction and abuse. I don't want to be the pushover dad, but I don't want to go the other extreme either.
Basically, there's a lot of issues that, while I can therapy them out as long as I want, I won't know how I'll actually react until the day we do decide it's time.
It's more along the lines of watching my sister's kids and thinking "How the hell am I supposed to deal with that kind of little demon", or seeing kids throw temper tantrums, while their parents keep on walking down Aisle 5.
Yesterday was what brought this topic on- my sister was having a birthday party for the 4-year old, and both he and another decided to come into my yard (my family has a house that's broken up into apartments) and pick the Bobdamned flowers I spent all bloody weekend planting. On a complete tangent, my sis and her husband spoil the little brats rotten. I yelled at my nephew, and when my sister told me off for being hard on her kids, I tore her a new one- basically telling her that at least someone wasn't afraid to discipline them.
I just know my dad used to correct me the old-fashioned way, and while I think that corporal punishment is necessary from time to time, there's a serious line between correction and abuse. I don't want to be the pushover dad, but I don't want to go the other extreme either.
Basically, there's a lot of issues that, while I can therapy them out as long as I want, I won't know how I'll actually react until the day we do decide it's time.
Get a puppy until you've grown up
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Quote:
Get a puppy until
QFT.
You can at least put them in their crate when your pissed at them.
Wondroustremor the Flatulent wrote:
How do all of you that have kids cope?!
You'll be surprised at how easily you turn into your parents.
Nobby wrote:
Get a puppy until you've grown up
Hmmm... if I do that, my wife might be going through menopause by the time I'm ready- besides, we have a 10-year-old cat that might have a problem with a puppy. You wouldn't believe how badly she reacted to seeing the neighbour's puppy through a fence!
Quote:
You wouldn't believe how badly she reacted to seeing the neighbour's puppy through a fence!
It's all for show. Kinda like DSD's client threatening to sue over a haircut.
Thread bleed ftw!
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Wondroustremor the Flatulent wrote:
How do all of you that have kids cope?!
It's the best thing that has ever happened to me?
If you don't want kids and she does that is very serious. If you make kids please take full personal responsibility for that. If you do it, you can't wave this over you wive's head (or the kid(s) head(s)). You two agreed to something and now she's going back on it (which is totally understandable). It is a decision which will change every aspect of your lives. Don't just play along - if you're going to do it, please fully commit to it. Read the books, talk to friends, find out the effort and time and all the ways it changes your life first.
That said, they are very rare, but you could try to find a woman who actually doesn't want kids, ever. Likely you should look at least over 40 - before then they are very likely to change their minds. More likely, you can try to find single women with older kids. (Hang out around home improvement centers, science and math kinds of places and they'll find you.) My single mom friends with older children (1) aren't looking for you to actually "raise" their kids (but they are looking for help and someone to spend time with the kids) and (2) generally aren't going to even consider starting over with new kids and (3) generally the kids are really great (they can't be spoiled sort of by definition).
Getting a puppy before shooting out the micro-human would be a great plan. In case of total irreconsilable disaster, any reputable breeder should take the dog back (so should any good rescue). Can't really give the kid back.
Quote:
Getting a puppy before shooting out the micro-human would be a great plan. In case of total irreconsilable disaster, any reputable breeder should take the dog back (so should any good rescue). Can't really give the kid back.
A real test of commitment is a chimp with a sock full of wood screws, though.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Hey Samira
Did someone hijack your account? After a few years of pissing me off or boring me rigid, you've started posting kick-*** stuff.
Wh'appen?
Did someone hijack your account? After a few years of pissing me off or boring me rigid, you've started posting kick-*** stuff.
Wh'appen?
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Nobby wrote:
Hey Samira
Did someone hijack your account? After a few years of pissing me off or boring me rigid, you've started posting kick-*** stuff.
Wh'appen?
Did someone hijack your account? After a few years of pissing me off or boring me rigid, you've started posting kick-*** stuff.
Wh'appen?
Could be the love of my lawyer-turned-crimefighter boyfriend, Bobo!
Or, maybe you're just growing up. Who can say, really?
Edited, Mon May 22 17:03:14 2006 by Samira
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Samira wrote:
[quote=Nobby]
Or, maybe you're just growing up. Who can say, really?
Or, maybe you're just growing up. Who can say, really?
+1 Samira
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Nobby wrote:
Hey Samira
Did someone hijack your account? After a few years of pissing me off or boring me rigid, you've started posting kick-*** stuff.
Wh'appen?
Did someone hijack your account? After a few years of pissing me off or boring me rigid, you've started posting kick-*** stuff.
Wh'appen?
Someone sucking you (at least cyberally) has made everyone else seem to suck less?
(Either that or Bobo has re-molded Sami in his witty, sock-bearing image)
Celcio wrote:
Someone sucking you (at least cyberally) has made everyone else seem to suck less?
Whoops. You missed a bit,
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Nobby wrote:
You weren't bad Celcio, but next time, take your teeth out and leave the phone off the hook hmmkay?
I don't know what you're complaining about. You said you'd only touch me with someone else's di[aqua][/aqua]ck.
So, WarMaverick, was it really that bad?
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Wondroustremor the Flatulent wrote:
On a complete tangent, my sis and her husband spoil the little brats rotten.
That is the source of their behavior.
But, if you're not afraid to discipline your sisters kids then you'll probably do a pretty good job with your own.
It's not that a well adjusted kid will never throw a tantrum but it's much less frequent and between them the kids are actually fun to be with.
Well behaved kids are great, poorly behaved ones you already know what they're like.
I'd be more concerned about you actually wanting kids or just convincing yourself that you do to please your wife. That could cause serious problems down the road.
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