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#77 May 18 2006 at 12:31 PM Rating: Good
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NephthysWanderer the Charming wrote:
What's the point of marriage then? What's different? I mean, almost no one saves sex for marriage (Lord knows I didn't), but what's the purpose? A one-day party and a random date to remember?

The point of marriage is that you find someone that has the closest expectations to yours, that you love and hopefully admire and find joy in, and you take a leap of faith together after careful thought and the promise of fidelity.

No one guarantees that you won't grow apart, that one of you won't die, that something won't happen that will alter your commitment and that is why you work on it every day, but since your chances are so slim anyhow, why not give it your best shot with the likeliest candidate instead of sticking it out with someone incompatible out of a sense of obligation?
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#78 May 18 2006 at 4:15 PM Rating: Decent
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The Glorious Atomicflea wrote:
NephthysWanderer the Charming wrote:
What's the point of marriage then? What's different? I mean, almost no one saves sex for marriage (Lord knows I didn't), but what's the purpose? A one-day party and a random date to remember?

The point of marriage is that you find someone that has the closest expectations to yours, that you love and hopefully admire and find joy in, and you take a leap of faith together after careful thought and the promise of fidelity.

No one guarantees that you won't grow apart, that one of you won't die, that something won't happen that will alter your commitment and that is why you work on it every day, but since your chances are so slim anyhow, why not give it your best shot with the likeliest candidate instead of sticking it out with someone incompatible out of a sense of obligation?


So....find someone that's convenient and hope it stays that way?
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#79 May 18 2006 at 4:38 PM Rating: Good
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NephthysWanderer the Charming wrote:
So....find someone that's convenient and hope it stays that way?


Pretty much. Part of the problem, IMO, is that we live in a disposable society. McDonald's, Burget King and KFC all advocate cheap, fast food. Don't like it? Toss it out & get something else. Electronics are cheaper to replace than repair in many cases these days. If they don't work, throw them out and get shiny new, more up-to-date ones. Cars, while they last longer than the average electronic gadget, are also more & more disposable. They're easy to sell, cheaper than ever, and a lot of people keep them for 1-5 years, then get rid of them for the newest model. I feel a lot of people tend to get used to having something work, or getting rid of it. It creeps into everyday interactions and incidents. If it requires too much work, a lot of people get bored, and move on to the next, hopefully more 'perfect' thing.

Relationships, especially marriages, take a lot of work- constant work- if both people involved want to stay committed and happy, and if the relationship is to remain satisfying.
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#80 May 18 2006 at 4:39 PM Rating: Good
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I guess I will talk to her and if she is not receptive or willing to listen then its time to go apartment hunting.
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#81 May 18 2006 at 4:40 PM Rating: Decent
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Wondroustremor the Flatulent wrote:
NephthysWanderer the Charming wrote:
So....find someone that's convenient and hope it stays that way?


Pretty much. Part of the problem, IMO, is that we live in a disposable society. McDonald's, Burget King and KFC all advocate cheap, fast food. Don't like it? Toss it out & get something else. Electronics are cheaper to replace than repair in many cases these days. If they don't work, throw them out and get shiny new, more up-to-date ones. Cars, while they last longer than the average electronic gadget, are also more & more disposable. They're easy to sell, cheaper than ever, and a lot of people keep them for 1-5 years, then get rid of them for the newest model. I feel a lot of people tend to get used to having something work, or getting rid of it. It creeps into everyday interactions and incidents. If it requires too much work, a lot of people get bored, and move on to the next, hopefully more 'perfect' thing.

Relationships, especially marriages, take a lot of work- constant work- if both people involved want to stay committed and happy, and if the relationship is to remain satisfying.


QFthefu'ckingT
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#82 May 18 2006 at 4:42 PM Rating: Decent
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Wondroustremor the Flatulent wrote:
Relationships, especially marriages, take a lot of work- constant work- if both people involved want to stay committed and happy, and if the relationship is to remain satisfying.


Maybe I'm just one of the lucky ones, but I've been married for 6 years and it has never seemed like work. I've always though that if it felt like work you were either doing something wrong or not married to the right person.

It could just be that my wife is doing both of our share of the "work" just to put up with me. Smiley: grin
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#83 May 18 2006 at 4:42 PM Rating: Excellent
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NephthysWanderer the Charming wrote:
Wondroustremor the Flatulent wrote:
NephthysWanderer the Charming wrote:
So....find someone that's convenient and hope it stays that way?


Pretty much. Part of the problem, IMO, is that we live in a disposable society. McDonald's, Burget King and KFC all advocate cheap, fast food. Don't like it? Toss it out & get something else. Electronics are cheaper to replace than repair in many cases these days. If they don't work, throw them out and get shiny new, more up-to-date ones. Cars, while they last longer than the average electronic gadget, are also more & more disposable. They're easy to sell, cheaper than ever, and a lot of people keep them for 1-5 years, then get rid of them for the newest model. I feel a lot of people tend to get used to having something work, or getting rid of it. It creeps into everyday interactions and incidents. If it requires too much work, a lot of people get bored, and move on to the next, hopefully more 'perfect' thing.

Relationships, especially marriages, take a lot of work- constant work- if both people involved want to stay committed and happy, and if the relationship is to remain satisfying.


QFthefu'ckingT


QFthefu'ckingT
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#84 May 18 2006 at 4:47 PM Rating: Excellent
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Mistress Nadenu wrote:
Professor CrescentFresh wrote:
I know some married couples that don't even share their money. They talk about "his money" and "her money" and how he pays for the house but she pays for the utilities, etc. I don't know how they can stand it.


I don't see how some couples do that, either. I kid my husband all the time about "his money" and "my money", but we both know it's really "the kids'".


/nod
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#85 May 18 2006 at 4:51 PM Rating: Good
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Mistress Darqflame wrote:
NephthysWanderer the Charming wrote:
Wondroustremor the Flatulent wrote:
NephthysWanderer the Charming wrote:
So....find someone that's convenient and hope it stays that way?


Pretty much. Part of the problem, IMO, is that we live in a disposable society. McDonald's, Burget King and KFC all advocate cheap, fast food. Don't like it? Toss it out & get something else. Electronics are cheaper to replace than repair in many cases these days. If they don't work, throw them out and get shiny new, more up-to-date ones. Cars, while they last longer than the average electronic gadget, are also more & more disposable. They're easy to sell, cheaper than ever, and a lot of people keep them for 1-5 years, then get rid of them for the newest model. I feel a lot of people tend to get used to having something work, or getting rid of it. It creeps into everyday interactions and incidents. If it requires too much work, a lot of people get bored, and move on to the next, hopefully more 'perfect' thing.

Relationships, especially marriages, take a lot of work- constant work- if both people involved want to stay committed and happy, and if the relationship is to remain satisfying.


QFthefu'ckingT


QFthefu'ckingT
Bitter dried up old has-been much?
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#86 May 18 2006 at 4:53 PM Rating: Excellent
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Nobby wrote:
Blah blah blah


BUT YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME!
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#87 May 18 2006 at 4:53 PM Rating: Good
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Mistress Darqflame wrote:
Nobby wrote:
Blah blah blah


BUT YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME!
pwn3d!111!
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#88 May 18 2006 at 6:05 PM Rating: Good
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Professor CrescentFresh wrote:
Wondroustremor the Flatulent wrote:
Relationships, especially marriages, take a lot of work- constant work- if both people involved want to stay committed and happy, and if the relationship is to remain satisfying.


Maybe I'm just one of the lucky ones, but I've been married for 6 years and it has never seemed like work. I've always though that if it felt like work you were either doing something wrong or not married to the right person.

It could just be that my wife is doing both of our share of the "work" just to put up with me. Smiley: grin


It just might be. If you're lucky and you find the right person, it shouldnt be a struggle to stay connected. The "work" is ensuring that you do not take your spouse for granted. It's continuing the chats about life, the small things, or what happened at work today. Its staying connected. I see a lot of failed relationships and the biggest problem I see is the failure to communicate! It's not rocket science people. You can not expect your spouse to read your mind or vice versa. When you had a bad day let your spouse know what happened, instead of quietly brooding and allowing your spouse to think s/he may have upset you unkowingly somehow. If there is a matter of raising the kids, you need to make sure that you are always as close to the same page as possible. Your ideas and thoughts may change, and his/hers will too. But how do you know this unless you keep the lines of communication open?
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#89 May 18 2006 at 6:08 PM Rating: Good
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have her "accidentally" stumble onto this thread.

Gauge her reaction to it and base your decision on that
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#90 May 18 2006 at 6:09 PM Rating: Good
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that is so evil!!!!!






































I lub it
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#91 May 18 2006 at 6:53 PM Rating: Good
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Quote:
I know some married couples that don't even share their money. They talk about "his money" and "her money" and how he pays for the house but she pays for the utilities, etc. I don't know how they can stand it.
To me, the important thing is finding what works. I read someplace that couples argue about their finances more than anything else. If keeping separate accounts promotes marital peace for a couple, I'm all for it.
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#92 May 18 2006 at 6:56 PM Rating: Default
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We have checking and savings. I'm in charge of both.
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#93 May 18 2006 at 7:21 PM Rating: Excellent
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For what it's worth, I'm sorry that it all sucks Bhodi...

Nexa
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#94 May 18 2006 at 8:03 PM Rating: Good
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Once again, DSD is on the same line of thought as me. I don't mean that marriage is a constant struggle- just that it takes nurturing. Work doesn't have to be something you hate. Sometimes, it can be something you enjoy immensely! ;)

When you keep conversations going, that's working on marital harmony. Doing things together- making an effort to keep involved with your s/o. Buying gifts just because- it requires thought and initiative, which, no matter how small the effort, is working on your marriage (or relationship).

My wife is the only person since I moved out of my mother's house who I have been happy to spend time with day after day. My family & friends I see a couple of times a week, and I'm happy to see them, but happy for the breaks. I value my friends and love my family, but I chose to live with her for better or for worse. It takes more work during fights and disagreements, but it still requires involvement on the part of each partner even during the good times. When you rest on your laurels because you know you 'have' him or her, and stop trying, you often lose what you've started to take for granted.

This doesn't really help Bodhi much, though. Sorry...
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#95 May 18 2006 at 8:12 PM Rating: Good
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She sounds to me like the type who likes to be dominated.

(or deserves to be)



Edited, Thu May 18 21:13:42 2006 by Kelvyquayo
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#96 May 18 2006 at 8:13 PM Rating: Good
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No worries,

just using y'all as a sounding board.
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#97 May 18 2006 at 10:26 PM Rating: Good
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Samira wrote:
Mistress Nadenu wrote:
Professor CrescentFresh wrote:
I know some married couples that don't even share their money. They talk about "his money" and "her money" and how he pays for the house but she pays for the utilities, etc. I don't know how they can stand it.


I don't see how some couples do that, either. I kid my husband all the time about "his money" and "my money", but we both know it's really "the kids'".


/nod


My son's potato sack from last year still fits him, so he's good. Little *******'s not getting any of my money! Smiley: mad
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#98 May 18 2006 at 10:36 PM Rating: Good
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@Bhod-


*cough cough* pus[Aliceblue][/Aliceblue]sy *cough cough*
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#99 May 18 2006 at 10:46 PM Rating: Decent
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Lady DSD wrote:
@Bhod-


*cough cough* pus[/Aliceblue]sy *cough cough*


I believe the regular access to pus[Aliceblue]sy is the source of this whole conundrum....

Hard to give it up for "principles" and... well the fat slobs you game with (not us, clearly, since we're not elite enough), eh?
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#100 May 18 2006 at 10:54 PM Rating: Good
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too bad its not her whos the pu[/Aliceblue]ssy at this point. I think Bhodis the bit[Aliceblue]ch and not the butch. /sigh. My KFC fat housewife dreams are shattered. Shattered I tell you! Smiley: cry
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#101 May 19 2006 at 5:48 AM Rating: Default
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No offense, but your girlfriend is selfish. She seems to think that you should be living in her world and not in each others. Trying to make you move away from your friends, family, job, and all securities so she can try and fill some unknown emptiness is downright silly.


Also, think about this.....if she is constantly thinking she would be happy else where then what does that tell you? She isn't happy where she is... i.e - you are not adequate to make her happy. So let her go and figure out her mistakes on her own. I am willing to bet your telephone will be ringing within 6 months.
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