The GirlfriendFollow

I will never understand these women who have the tight leash on their men. Don't they understand that they're missing out on all kinds of wonderful alone time - bubble baths with wine, reading a good book or watching a movie without interuption, shopping at a leisurely pace (or in most of our cases, playing our game of choice without someone bothering us).

Men just get in the way.

When you're with the right person, it's not that hard. Didn't you break up with a chick right before you met your wife? Didn't you have reasons? Who the heck does it benefit to pound a square peg into a round hole?

There's a difference between finding someone's habits annoying, and objecting to a key way they view relationships.

As long as we're telling, I want everyone to know I didn't even get a reach-around from Neph.

Bastage.

There's a key word there:marriage.

sharing dung is right and proper for marriage, but if you share every single minute piece of your dung with your spouse, that is not healthy.

As a wife, I love my husband dearly and love to share almost everything with him. But as a human, I need my own space as well. I will start to get antsy and bit[Beige][/Beige]chy, if I dont have some sort of me time once in awhile. That could be reading a book while he plays on the PC, or running out to a book store with a coffee in my hands for an hour of relaxation. It even has been known to mean me leaving for a weekend of girly get togethers. I know if there was no seperation between Me, him, and us, neither of us would get the time to regroup and recharge our batteries.

Being together and ejoying your life as a couple is very important. But never scoff at simple solo time. You start to take for granted whats in front of you 24/7. When you take some time to step back and take care of you, you can take care of your relationship much more efficiantly

I know some married couples that don't even share their money. They talk about "his money" and "her money" and how he pays for the house but she pays for the utilities, etc. I don't know how they can stand it.

But that's the great part about it. It's not until you agree to share it all from both sides that you actually get anything back.

It can't be give-take, or take-give. When it hits give-give, it works.

It's a pretty safe assumption, considering the vast vast vast majority of people get married. It is, now, later than ever before.

Again, if you have the same expectations as your spouse/SO (whether that means you expect all your time to be together and that all your things belong to both or you think time apart and individuality are healthy), then it doesn't matter, because you're with someone whose goals are compatible to yours.

If you live with someone and it doesn't work out, WTF is the big deal? Maybe you think that the commitment level and other factors are there at the time, but if it doesn't pan out, you move on. That's why you wait for the right person to marry and even then, some people call it quits.

What's the point of marriage then? What's different? I mean, almost no one saves sex for marriage (Lord knows I didn't), but what's the purpose? A one-day party and a random date to remember?

Well, my wife and I have separate accounts. There's one joint account which is usually empty- we just use it to transfer money back & forth to each other via online banking. We each pay a share of the bills based on what we make. When I was making 60% of the income, I paid 70% of the bills. Now, we're making around the same wage, and we split the bills down the middle. She's starting a job that makes 20k more than I do next month, and we'll probably sit down & look at the bills again. However, in all fairness that's the way we both like it.

Of course, what's mine is hers & what's hers is... hers. In all seriousness though, we never hesitate to give each other any money when the other person is low on funds, and we don't ask for it back once we've given it. We don't loan each other money. It really is our money- we just like the illusion of financial autonomy.

Ok, I typed the wrong thing. I meant to say it's all mine!

Seriously, the way it works for us is that I handle most of the money for paying bills, groceries, etc. It's not like he gets an allowance or anything, lol. But I hold on to most of the money since I spend more (and not always on shoes!)

We handle it like this: All money from either person is direct deposited and is split into 3 bank accounts. One account just keeps enough to pay 1 month worth of bills. One account gets however much we have budgeted for our "fun money." All the rest goes into a savings account.

When a bill comes in, it gets paid immediately from the bill account. When one of us wants to buy something for ourself, we can check the balance of the fun money account and know that anything in there is fair game for spending but we are each considerate enough not to spend the entire balance on ourself. For bigger purchases, we talk about it ahead of time and take some money from the savings account. It works out great, we have 3 shared pools of money, and with debit cards and online banking, and there is really not a lot of checkbook balancing to be done.