So many things I have to reply to...
First off to the OP:
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My oldest one (14) uses MSN Messenger to IM with his friends. I've basically told him that's fine as long as I go through his friend list with him and he tells me who each and every person is. If he doesn't know that person in real life, he can't IM and that person goes off the list.
When I was 14, I had penpals all over the world. Had my parents done this, I wouldn't have had the people I could talk to when I was really depressed before I met my group of friends. A rule like this is a little extreme.
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I also get his password and get to check his IMs whenever I deem it necessary (which is everyday).
Jesus Christ, that's gonna mess his social life up a little. That's like using a separate phone to eavesdrop on other people's conversations. Give him some privacy.
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He's not allowed to upload or download any attachments.
Understandable. The only time that this should be necessary is if you've sent something to yourself such as homework, or pictures that you have on another computer.
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And he's not allowed to IM except in our family room and either his dad or I am home
Overprotectiveness like this can adversely affect how a kid turns out. That makes things worse. I have had a lot of very private and/or emotional conversations with my friends which would have been impossible to do with someone always looking over my shoulder.
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When neither parent is home, the comps that have internet access are all off and are password protected
Similar to the above point. This actually borders on being cruel. I mean, really, let him be normal.
Basically, Thumbelyna, you are the classic overprotective parent. Scared of things that aren't there.
Though of course being 18, I'm not a parent and you'd think I wouldn't criticise your parenting, but from the point of view of a younger person, you're being unreasonable.
Edited, Mon May 15 19:39:57 2006 by Driftwood