For the parents out there....Follow

What kind of limitations and boundaries do you set (besides the obvious ones) for your minor children being online?

My oldest one (14) uses MSN Messenger to IM with his friends. I've basically told him that's fine as long as I go through his friend list with him and he tells me who each and every person is. If he doesn't know that person in real life, he can't IM and that person goes off the list. I also get his password and get to check his IMs whenever I deem it necessary (which is everyday). He's not allowed to upload or download any attachments. And he's not allowed to IM except in our family room and either his dad or I am home. When neither parent is home, the comps that have internet access are all off and are password protected.

Now, I know when he goes to his friend's house, he's going to IM and get online. OK, I know that but I'm hoping that he's remembering all the warnings and everything that I've gone over with him. And that he's heard the horror stories out there about other kids who were online and just went further than they should have.

But am I missing something else that as a parent I should be doing?

Make sure you knock before entering his room and giving him time to zip up?

Honestly you seem to have a pretty good handle on things and are keeping up where many other parents would not or could not from ignorance or apathy. Good on ya for being responsible even though at 14 he obviously knows more than you and you are just a cyber-bully.

Anything restricted becomes interesting; isn't this essentially a law for child-rearing? I would expect him to be on at friends houses - under a different ID - doing whatever it is he's told not to do at home.

Just make sure you don't tell him where they come from, lest you enjoy the idea of catching him filling up your wife's flower pots full of excrement. I'd stick with buttons. Might be a better chance of poking his eye out but at least it's not gross.

I think youve got a good system down. Just remember kids will try and do anything theyre told they cant. So long as you stay up in their sh[Aliceblue][/Aliceblue]it though, youll be able to spot it.

Everyone said, he probably has 3 emails you don't know about. One security one to show you if you catch on and he can come clean with no wrong doing, and the other 2 are filled with the p0rnz and illicit drug orders.
Regulation is good, but make sure you tell him what and why you are doing this. If it is to ward of internet predators go get a... adult plaything and ask him what an internet predator would do. Then ask him if he would enjoy that.
Seriously though, make sure he knows why and the consequences of online predators. Maybe show him a missing persons list or some newspaper articles of situations like this around your town. Make it real to him so he knows why you are being a hard ***. And start learning to hack so you can find those other email accounts.

I think my son has had the bejeezus scared out of him before. Husband was playing FFXI when he got into an argument with a little 16 year old punk. The punk thought he could be a bada[/red]ss and mouth off so he he tells my husband in /tell "Here's my street address, why don't you try to come down here and kick my ***?" He just gave the house number and the street, didn't say which city or state.

Husband asked me to find what I could. And 5 minutes later, I was passing information back to my husband of which was the kid's full address, his parents' names, their ages, the exact location of the house on the street, what the house looked like and how much the house was bought for. I could have gone further and gotten the phone number and school that the kid went to, but I think the point was made. That punk was shi[red]tting in his pants and thought it was my husband when a random car drove by his house.

My son saw all this and I turned to him and told him "And THAT'S why you never give out any info or talk to anyone online that you don't know."

Another thng I did: When someone on my MySpace friend list bulletin-ed out the last 4 numbers of his phone number, I messaged that guy and told him that wasn't a smart thing to do. He basically was like "it's cool, no one could find anything out." Imagine his shock when I called him a couple of days later and told him to change his profile and take down the bulletin.

So my son knows what info and how fast info could be pulled up if he was careless. I think the other thing I could do is show him how much info I can pull up on one of his friends who does MySpace so that he sees what can happen when stuff is thrown out on the internet.

I even thought about doing the whole NetNanny program, but I want to try to be more proactive than rely on a computer program to keep my son safe.

Edited, Mon May 15 16:43:56 2006 by Thumbelyna

Haha, when I was 14, I spent hours in AOL chatrooms, pretending to be everything from a 39-year-old lesbian to an angry Canadian defector.

A/S/L checks: countless

Flirtatious IMs sent: countless

Actual cyborz participated in: 0

AOL, you tease



Edit: Oh yeah, and I don't think I came out any worse for the wear.



Edited, Mon May 15 16:55:56 2006 by trickybeck

Yeah, but you went in with the intention of not giving anything out about yourself. You didn't cyber with anyone, you didn't go and decide to meet up with someone who swore that they looked just like Halle Berry, you didn't get in so deep that people were able to track it back to you.

My point is that I'm afraid that someone else can gather information on my son or his friends through different pages and that's where the harm is.

And I have a BIG problem when one of my son's friends who is a 14 year old girl hanging upside down from the monkey bars and her pic comment is a new sex position TRY DO'N IT LYK DAT!!

It's what happens. He and she are budding teenagers. and beleive it or not, they will be having sex soon. As bad as it is it most likely will happen you know? Unfortunately I can't give much parental advice but I can give you perspective of being 18. Be on his ***, learn about his life, but you are gonna hear or find stuff that you may not have wanted to hear/see. Especially if you are snooping around.

I understand sex predators, but seriously, make sure he has common sense not to meet with anyone no matter how hot they are and no matter what they are promising in terms of sexual favors. Talk with him about it. Random IM friends can't be too good and it is good you monitor that, butyou aren't able to shelter him from everything. Keep the things that possess physical harm to him away, but don't forbid him from going to "Jenny's super dee duper sleepover b-day!"

Protect, don't shelter. He will hate you if you randomly don't allow things. Explain what you are doing and why.

As to people tracking him down, well, that is possible. So make sure he realizes what not to put on the internet, but also realize that he needs to do his own thing. So long as he isn't putting his number and saying "Call me to talk and make friends" nonsense I don't see to much of a problem.

My stepdaughter is 11 years old and we just bought her an Emachine so she could research and type homework on.

1) shes not allowed any type of IM service

2) she cannot upload or download anything

3) she cannot install anything

4) she can only visit sites that are microsoft "trusted" and if they dont have the cert to say yea or ney then she cant visit them.

5) she is banned from "my space"

6) i have the administrator password and she doesnt so i can go in at any time to look at her computer to see where she has been. if she has been anywhere that we dont sanction then she automaticly looses her computer.

she is REALLY good at coming to get us if she wants to go to a site that isnt trusted. i check it out first with her mom and if its allright then we allow it through the parental controls that windows has.

Sucks to fail at humor because the object is a fur'ner, don't it, Thumle?

Ever watch those Dateline NBC shows about online preditors?

where they get a cop to masquerade as a teen to get some sick fuck to come out to the house?

flippin scary....

Worry to much? naw.... worry just about right.....