I DO NOT want to be at work today. I should be the proud owner of a brand new mini human.
The next person that comes to my desk and makes some snarky comment about the baby not being here is getting caned in the kneecap.
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Today really sucksFollow
I remember the relief we felt at our last Dr. visit when he announced he would induce her. At least then we had a time and date to look forward to.
Guess we were lucky, wife was due April 4th, baby came March 26th while she was relaxing at a lake resort ....
Glad it was over but was a frantic time trying to get to the hospital.
Glad it was over but was a frantic time trying to get to the hospital.
I saw the most hilarious commercial that made me think of your wife Frakkor. It was for Dairy Queen cakes. This fully blown, huffing and puffing lady was being wheelchaired into the hospital with a cake on her lap that said, "Happy Mother's Day Nicole!" She starts talking something like, "Hey! It's Mother's Day and I'm a mother, well not yet anyway. But just in case, we stopped at Dairy Queen to get me this. I figure after 12 hours of labor, I'm really going to need it."
Awesome stuff.
Hope baby comes soon!!
Awesome stuff.
Hope baby comes soon!!
I like the DQ commercial (I think it's DQ) where this asian couple is sharing some ice cream: The guy takes a bite, and dreams of having a son and them getting along etc etc.
The pregnant woman takes a bite, and dreams of the husband being on the hospital bed, going through the pains of labor, and shouts at her "You did this to me!!!" She snaps out of it and gets this eeeeeeeevil grin....
The pregnant woman takes a bite, and dreams of the husband being on the hospital bed, going through the pains of labor, and shouts at her "You did this to me!!!" She snaps out of it and gets this eeeeeeeevil grin....
Tips for Frakkor.
Go home and have wonderful multiple ****** sex.
Go to Wal-Mart or the nearest store of this type. Walk around the store twice.
Go to the store and buy a home pedicure set. Do her toes for her and massage her legs. This may help.
Spicey food. I know you've already tried it but try it again.
Go get her some castor oil!
Go home and have wonderful multiple ****** sex.
Go to Wal-Mart or the nearest store of this type. Walk around the store twice.
Go to the store and buy a home pedicure set. Do her toes for her and massage her legs. This may help.
Spicey food. I know you've already tried it but try it again.
Go get her some castor oil!
The One and Only Frakkor wrote:
I DO NOT want to be at work today. I should be the proud owner of a brand new mini human.
The next person that comes to my desk and makes some snarky comment about the baby not being here is getting caned in the kneecap.
The next person that comes to my desk and makes some snarky comment about the baby not being here is getting caned in the kneecap.
I'm sorry that the baby hasn't gotten here yet. I remember that feeling of uncomfortableness and misery and my baby was born 3 days before her due date.
Just do whatever your wife wants. Whether she wants you to stand there while she pelts you with oranges, or she wants you to rub her feet or rub her back, or if she wants to go for a walk and you need to hold her hand, or if she wants you to just get the hell out of her face because she's ready to smack you. It's all par for the course.
I read somewhere that the days just prior to hard labor are supposed to be the most miserable so that way the mother can just get over her fear of labor and get it over and done with as soon as possible with the least amount of fuss. It's crap, but I read it somewhere.
The One and Only Frakkor wrote:
I DO NOT want to be at work today. I should be the proud owner of a brand new mini human.
The next person that comes to my desk and makes some snarky comment about the baby not being here is getting caned in the kneecap.
The next person that comes to my desk and makes some snarky comment about the baby not being here is getting caned in the kneecap.
You didn't tell us you was having a midget!
Well, frankly, you never asked.
The One and Only Frakkor wrote:
Well, frankly, you never asked.
I never asked if you was having a baby, but you still told us that anyways.
Someone asked.
Ok, someone just came to my desk and asked in a stupid voice "They gave you a procreation license?"
I'm leaving in 40 mins and going to find a nest of baby bunnies to mow over or something.
Long live being a pissy bi[Antiquewhite][/Antiquewhite]tch!
I'm leaving in 40 mins and going to find a nest of baby bunnies to mow over or something.
Long live being a pissy bi[Antiquewhite][/Antiquewhite]tch!
Jesus. You got that oven on preheat, or what? Turn up the temperature already.
If you're this whiney, I can only imagine how your wife must be right now.
If you're this whiney, I can only imagine how your wife must be right now.
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
It doesn't help that I completely and utterly despise my job and my workplace ever since they announced they are outsourcing to India.
At home, I'm not this pissy. This office does it to me.
At home, I'm not this pissy. This office does it to me.
Quote:
Sounds to me like someone has a case of the Mondays!
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Kakar the Vile wrote:
Quote:
Sounds to me like someone has a case of the Mondays!
*******!
[quote=The One and Only Frakkor]It doesn't help that I completely and utterly despise my job and my workplace ever since they announced they are outsourcing to India.
At home, I'm not this pissy. This office does it to **************** I wonder if you work for the same company as Fng (another occasional poster). His company is doing the same.
At home, I'm not this pissy. This office does it to **************** I wonder if you work for the same company as Fng (another occasional poster). His company is doing the same.
so have you told her your new nick name for her yet?
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
Lady DSD wrote:
I hate you
I used to read thsoe cartoons as a small child. So what's the story behind the name DSD?
dont ask or you will be assuring a swift kick to yourself, Joph, and now Smash
Don't worry sweetie, I wouldn't dare laugh at you. 
Much
Much
I'm not afraid of kicks. I've been kicked plenty of times.
Fess up.
Fess up.
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Quote:
I'm leaving in 40 mins and going to find a nest of baby bunnies to mow over or something.
Pictures please
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