No pictures so aside from the bold text title, fairly work safe.
best quote
Quote:
If you’re going to ********** with the help of heavy machinery, for crying out loud, use the buddy system.
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No pictures so aside from the bold text title, fairly work safe.
best quote
No pictures so aside from the bold text title, fairly work safe.
best quote
*first post dance*
All I have to say is OUCH!! Oh and try not to break your *****!
dam vacuums...
All I have to say is OUCH!! Oh and try not to break your *****!
dam vacuums...
Inhaling the condom... That's just priceless.
Quote:
fractured her pelvis
Quote:
popped blood vessels in their eyes, perhaps from screaming during ******.
awwwww yeahhhh At least now I know I can blame my bloat on the jacuzzi. Score!
More examples of natural selection at work.
"I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
For a few moments there I thought I was reading an article written by an asylumite with some of the sarcasm in that piece:
rather amusing all in all though I have sympathy for some of the ones who "slipped out" at just the wrong time. I'm thinking that trumps a "pain in the neck" and a "pain in the ********** put together. All I can do is wince at the prospect...
Quote:
Call me crazy, but the “intermittent searing pain†would have been a tip off. Had he sought medical care sooner, he could have avoided “necrotic debris.â€
{Cover your ears children}
I worked at the city hospital where I am from, as a desk clerk in the ER, I have heard some of the craziest sh't from the nurses.
One night a woman came in she had a coke can stuck in her ..(you know what). Another time a man had a ***** stuck in his azz, that had me cracking the f'ck up for days. XD
How does one break a *****? O_o
nvm, -.-
Having a lodged foreign body..aww come on people can't be that stupid to put something small enough to get stuck.-.-
lmao, I think some guys can relate from those temder moments on the carpet.
Ouch!, that made my ***** hurt and I don't even have one....><
Edited, Wed Mar 22 07:33:24 2006 by kalaria
Edited, Wed Mar 22 07:34:33 2006 by kalaria
I worked at the city hospital where I am from, as a desk clerk in the ER, I have heard some of the craziest sh't from the nurses.
One night a woman came in she had a coke can stuck in her ..(you know what). Another time a man had a ***** stuck in his azz, that had me cracking the f'ck up for days. XD
Quote:
Broken penises, lodged foreign bodies give new meaning to unsafe sex
How does one break a *****? O_o
Quote:
In fact, as much as I wish it were, breaking your ***** isn’t rare. Guys do it when they get all pile-drivery and they miss the bull's-eye, or when she’s riding Bronco Billy and slips off the saddle. Bend a ***** past the breaking point and you can snap the inner chambers, releasing blood into surrounding areas.
nvm, -.-
Having a lodged foreign body..aww come on people can't be that stupid to put something small enough to get stuck.-.-
Quote:
rug burns
lmao, I think some guys can relate from those temder moments on the carpet.
Quote:
"A 29-year-old man heard a snap during sexual intercourse followed by immediate detumescence and a swelling of the penile basis and *******, due to a penile fracture."
Ouch!, that made my ***** hurt and I don't even have one....><
Edited, Wed Mar 22 07:33:24 2006 by kalaria
Edited, Wed Mar 22 07:34:33 2006 by kalaria
Quote:
One night a woman came in she had a coke can stuck in her ..(you know what). Another time a man had a ***** stuck in his azz, that had me cracking the f'ck up for days. XD
ROFL .
That must be somewhat embarrasing..
I'm glad it wasn't me
kalaria wrote:
Another time a man had a ***** stuck in his azz, that had me cracking the f'ck up for days. XD
I've heard the same type of story from a friend of mine who used to be a nurse. They had a man brought in with a vibrator up his backside, still on.
They went through 5 nurses and 3 doctors trying to get it out. It took so many because they had to keep cycling people in and out so they wouldn't crack up laughing in front of the patient.
Quote:
they had to keep cycling people in and out so they wouldn't crack up laughing in front of the patient.
ROFLMAO
Poor guy ...
I was watching TV a coupla days ago and well....this dude had a stolen necklace sitting in his **** cavity, think how much that would hurt on the way out :P
EvilShenanigans wrote:
I was watching TV a coupla days ago and well....this dude had a stolen necklace sitting in his **** cavity, think how much that would hurt on the way out :P
Especially if it was made of these
Do what now?
A friend of mine is a Surg Tech. She loves telling me stories about the things she sees.
Mayonaise jar in the *** beaded braclet in the urethra candle stick in the urethra cell phone in the ***
The One and Only Katie wrote:
candle stick in the urethra
0.0
Ummm ow
Apparently, Jack wasn't quite nimble enough jumping over that one.
Quote:
Apparently, Jack wasn't quite nimble enough jumping over that one.
XD, lmao!
A friend of mine who is a nurse had this one guy come in with an allergic reaction to spices in some sausage....on and in his ****.
My favorite part of the article was:
Quote:
“We report two cases in which men used the hydraulic shovels on tractors to suspend themselves for masochistic sexual stimulation. One man developed a romantic attachment to a tractor, even giving it a name and writing poetry in its honor. He died accidentally while intentionally asphyxiating himself through suspension by the neck…â€
Romantic attachment?
“A prospective database and photographic record of patients who presented with retained colorectal foreign bodies…The foreign bodies included a pen knife, an aerosol deodorant spray can, a blue plastic tumbler, a plastic bag containing two bank notes and some marijuana, a plastic packet containing fish hooks, a penlight [flashlight], a broomstick, a battery-powered vibrator, a primus stove, a cap of an aerosol can, a piece of wire, a piece of hosepipe wrapped with wire, and an iron bar.â€
How the hell do you fit something that big in your ***?
How the hell do you fit something that big in your ***?
shadomen the Irrelevant wrote:
“A prospective database and photographic record of patients who presented with retained colorectal foreign bodies…The foreign bodies included a pen knife, an aerosol deodorant spray can, a blue plastic tumbler, a plastic bag containing two bank notes and some marijuana, a plastic packet containing fish hooks, a penlight [flashlight], a broomstick, a battery-powered vibrator, a primus stove, a cap of an aerosol can, a piece of wire, a piece of hosepipe wrapped with wire, and an iron bar.â€
How the hell do you fit something that big in your ***?
How the hell do you fit something that big in your ***?
NWS!NWS!
here's your answer
ArrogantT wrote:
you have to wonder once it's stretched to that size, will it ever properly close again?
Quote:
NWS!NWS!
here's your answer
here's your answer
; ;, please warn me next time, I think I'm scared for life...
shadomen the Irrelevant wrote:
How the hell do you fit something that big in your ***?
NEVER ASK THAT QUESTION ON THE INTERNET
assylum indeed 
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