Perhaps earlier, but especially noticable for the past several years, you have been slipping bits of propaganda onto my drink cups, bags, fry boxes, etc. These are invariably attempts to convince me that my fast food choice was the right one which is a little odd since I didn't see the blurb until after I gave the drive-thru girl my money and received my food. Anyway...
You are not cool. You are not hip. Consequently, buying your food did not make me cool and hip. I am not "lovin' it". I did not "have it my way". I ordered off a board by number and, to be honest, I don't even know what comes standard on a Whopper. It could be old dish sponges for all I'm aware. All I do know is that, if "my way" requires cheese, you ding me an extra $7.25 for a generic American single. Taco Bell? Arby's? Buying from you was not my attempt to stick it to the Burger-Sellin' Man. The Burger-Sellin' Man gets my business nine times out of ten. You were a diversion, not a countercultural statement.
That said, today I found this in my Wendy's bag:
Some Wendy's marketing guy wrote:
Do something deliciously observant. Eat fish while keeping it real with your taste buds. Order a fish sandwich that will make you shout "Boo-ya!". Just remember, you're never breaking the rules when you do what tastes right
Fish sandwich back for Lent.
Fish sandwich back for Lent.
What. The. Fu[Cyan][/Cyan]ck?
Nothing's more "hip" than a religious observation! And if you gotta sacrifice for your faith, sacrifice in style with delicious taste!
I'm not sure what that second to last sentence means. I guess I can have a sirloin so long as it "Tastes right" 'cause then I'm not breaking my Lenten fast. I imagine the spirit of Dave Thomas was sent from above to inform them of that.
I don't feel spiritually insulted so much as just intellectually insulted. Oh, and Wendy's fish sandwich tastes like ***.
Edited, Mon Mar 13 13:50:00 2006 by Jophiel