The joy of roommatesFollow

I'm sure at least most of us have had to deal with them at some point, be it either while going to school or in my case, that delightful period after school where you are working but not making enough to afford a humane place to live on your own. Here are just two vents that I thought I would share with the Bored-at-work crew here in The Asylum.

The Last Cookie:

It isn't always cookies. It could be the last of anything, eggs, milk, whatever. Whatever the item is, you bought it and brought it home only to discover, maybe a few days down the road when you go looking for it, that there is only 1 left.

What fantastic form of human logic dictates that if you leave 1 cookie, 1 handful of chips, 1 shot glass of milk, etc., that it's okay that you completely raided the crap out of something you didn't buy? It completely escapes me how leaving me 1 cheese slice from a pack of 24 is okay, especially when you don't replace it next time you go shopping.

Dishes:

Okay you don't even have to have a roommate for this one, family or a wife/husband can do just as well.

I come home from work everyday, and often the first thing I end up doing is putting on that pair of yellow gloves and washing a mound of dishes. Yet both my roommates, when they come home, will immediately head to the TV or PC, or even worse, the kitchen to "cook" and make even more dishes.

I have come home to find absolutely every fork, spoon, bowl, pot, pan, and plate used, dirty, and piled in both sinks (double sink in the kitchen). I've filled the dish rack to the point of disastrous collapse and left the rest of the mountain, piled in front of the only cooking device my roommates ever use, the microwave. Yet, the next day, the dish rack of now dry and clean dishes has been picked through and the pile in front of the microwave has grown and moved.

I can't wrap my brain around how people can just ignore that much mess, especially when you NEED those items to feed yourself. Don't get me wrong, I've left dishes in the sink too, but when 2 sinks are overflowing, maybe it's time to do some damn dishes.

I’ve confronted both my roommates on this to no avail. I can’t seem to breakdown 25+ years of being babied and pampered by their parents.

I look forward to the day when I own my own place, with a dishwasher.

Has she started giving head again? That's usually the first thing that goes when you do the big move-in.

Who cares.

Start planting something in the cookies/sh[black][/black]it they eat. Make sure you eat a couple clean ones first. As far as what to plant in the food, laxatives might work wonders.

Good luck on the dishes. If they aren't clean people, they probably never will be.

What did you do about the food in the fridge?

I have a ban on soda in cans in my house now. My roomates love to accumulate cans of soda on their desks. What bothers me is that to get a new can of soda, you have to walk by the recycling bin to the fridge and then return the same way.

So at first I told them in order to get a can of soda you have to recycle a can of soda. The response was, "I keep them on the desk to see how many I've had." So when I counted out 27 cans on his desk I get, "That means I need to go buy more soda!" Not only did he drink a whole case, but he added outside cans to the pile!

Now there is a ban on canned soda at my house and I will enforce the ban through the People's Court if necessary.

Baelnic

True dat. Married life FTW.

What do you call a pound of flesh that makes a woman cry?



htribllits

Edited, Thu Feb 23 15:40:01 2006 by bodhisattva

thankfully, since my roommates are too lazy to cook anything that doesn't have instructions on the side of the box, all the real food like the meat is 100% safe.

Me: hey steaks are on sale at the market, got 3 for $12
Roomie: oh I don't eat steak?
Me: what? why not?
Roomie: takes too long to cook. I only eat steak when I go out
Me: are you f-ing kidding me? It takes 3 minutes in the George Foreman
Roomie: bah, too much trouble

Yeah, that's kind of what I meant. I had one good roommate once (we're still friends, go figure), but the rest...

I used to share a house with 3 other guys. One (friend since childhood) owned the house and we got along great. The second worked grave shift and I rarely even saw him other than when he was coming home and I was heading to work. The third roomie was a total pain in the ***.

This guy would either leave the dirty dishes in the sink and ignore them or put them directly into the dishwasher without rinsing off things like potatoe skins, spagetti, veggies, etc. The house owner or I would then have to pull out the rack and unclog the drain in the dishwasher. No matter how many time we talked to him he could not go three days before he started doing it again.

He and I also went to work at roughly the same time. We worked out a schedule where he would get the shower first, but frequently he would sleep in and as soon as I got in the shower, he would scream at the bath room door that he needed the shower cause he would be late. F'ucker! I wasn't gunna be late cause his sorry *** slept in.

I think the trick is to try and out wait them to see who will get sick of them first. The real secret is to start eating out a little more so you don't make any dishes messy.

Then, when they want to cook something and eat they'll have to do their own damn dishes.