Canadians it boils down to
A) I'm sick to **** of liberal corruption but Stephen Harper is Wrong in every sense of the word.
B) Stephen Harper is NOT a robot, c'mon guys!
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Bode - 100 Holy Paladin - Lightbringer
6. Death Penalty.
For it. But find a bloody cheaper way to do it. Put a guy in a room, drop a gun through an airhole and check back in 3 weeks.
7. The War in Iraq.
Can't stand the way it's been presented to the American people. It's like we gave Powell some Crayola drawings sent him to the UN and he's all like "we will respect the wishes of the UN... oh, wait... I have word that we just bombed Iraq back to the stone ages". Completely emasculated the UN and for those that can remember there was another organization prior to the UN that completely fell apart b/c of the U.S.' inability to cooperate.
8. Gun Control.
The Right to bear arms. More power to us. But honestly, what hunter needs armor piercing bullets and a fully automatic rifle? Or a sniper scope that can aim 2 miles away? It seems like some control would make a heck of a lot more sense than no control.
For it. But find a bloody cheaper way to do it. Put a guy in a room, drop a gun through an airhole and check back in 3 weeks.
7. The War in Iraq.
Can't stand the way it's been presented to the American people. It's like we gave Powell some Crayola drawings sent him to the UN and he's all like "we will respect the wishes of the UN... oh, wait... I have word that we just bombed Iraq back to the stone ages". Completely emasculated the UN and for those that can remember there was another organization prior to the UN that completely fell apart b/c of the U.S.' inability to cooperate.
8. Gun Control.
The Right to bear arms. More power to us. But honestly, what hunter needs armor piercing bullets and a fully automatic rifle? Or a sniper scope that can aim 2 miles away? It seems like some control would make a heck of a lot more sense than no control.
Quote:
I believe in a God (just not necessarily the one that's in the Bible, Koran, or any other written work out there). To think that there's no afterlife is pretty scary to comprehend.
I'm not at all sure that faith based on fear of the unknown really qualifies as faith at all.
On the other hand, what better foundation for make-believe than fear?
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
I'm actually kindof enjoying this...
6. Death Penalty.
Personally, I don't care. All I want is for criminals to stay away from me. If that means locking them up for life (and I mean until they die of old age life) or death penalty that's up to the government.
7. The War in Iraq.
Illegal and expensive, but something would have had to be done eventually.
8. Gun Control.
The pre-canadian gun registry worked fine. All handguns had to be registerred and all hunting rifles required a training course.
Bad guys don't register their weapons.
Canadians it boils down to:
B) Stephen Harper is NOT a robot, c'mon guys!
-Give him a shot. It could be worse, we could have even more money pissed away to more Liberal fatcats.
6. Death Penalty.
Personally, I don't care. All I want is for criminals to stay away from me. If that means locking them up for life (and I mean until they die of old age life) or death penalty that's up to the government.
7. The War in Iraq.
Illegal and expensive, but something would have had to be done eventually.
8. Gun Control.
The pre-canadian gun registry worked fine. All handguns had to be registerred and all hunting rifles required a training course.
Bad guys don't register their weapons.
Canadians it boils down to:
B) Stephen Harper is NOT a robot, c'mon guys!
-Give him a shot. It could be worse, we could have even more money pissed away to more Liberal fatcats.
"I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
I tried to pick topics that were broad but could still be broken down to a or b. For example evolution.
Death Penalty is a good one also.
Iraq is a little to much of a crows nest to touch. I think that the War in Iraq is the pinnacle of the incompetency of the Bush Adminstration. One f[/b]uck up after another. I also feel that trying to set up a democractic Iraq is great and that the United States cannot leave until the job is done. That however doesnt excuse the pure pooch ***** it is.
Guns is a good one also.
Death Penalty is a good one also.
Iraq is a little to much of a crows nest to touch. I think that the War in Iraq is the pinnacle of the incompetency of the Bush Adminstration. One f[/b]uck up after another. I also feel that trying to set up a democractic Iraq is great and that the United States cannot leave until the job is done. That however doesnt excuse the pure pooch ***** it is.
Guns is a good one also.
Bode - 100 Holy Paladin - Lightbringer
Bodhis Short Political Orientation Quiz
1. Homosexuality.
a) Right or b) Wrong.
A
2. Evolution
a)good theory or b)excludes god and cant explain everything
A
3. Gitmo/Abu Ghraib Abuses
a)national disgrace or b) the terrorists have it coming
A
4. Immigrants
a)Helped found America or b) enough is enough close the borders
A...
5. Abortion
a) A womans right or b) murder
A
Pick the one you find yourself coming towards. The more A)'s the more liberal the more B)'s the more conservative.
Good at judging a curve.
Doesn't include enough economic questions.
1. Homosexuality.
a) Right or b) Wrong.
A
2. Evolution
a)good theory or b)excludes god and cant explain everything
A
3. Gitmo/Abu Ghraib Abuses
a)national disgrace or b) the terrorists have it coming
A
4. Immigrants
a)Helped found America or b) enough is enough close the borders
A...
5. Abortion
a) A womans right or b) murder
A
Pick the one you find yourself coming towards. The more A)'s the more liberal the more B)'s the more conservative.
Good at judging a curve.
Doesn't include enough economic questions.
Cheese is evil. As a Paladin, I destroy cheese-based creatures.
Quote:
I'm not at all sure that faith based on fear of the unknown really qualifies as faith at all.
On the other hand, what better foundation for make-believe than fear?
On the other hand, what better foundation for make-believe than fear?
At the core of it religions are means to comfort people in the face of the unknown and death. And then you get the control freaks wiping up war over who's imaginary guy in the sky is stronger. Fun fun. Opium of the masses and all that.
oh yeah, and B) Stephen Harper is NOT a robot, c'mon guys!
For me too.
Edited, Tue Feb 21 18:17:27 2006 by Tyrandor
Ok, I'm bored at work and this amused me so I'll bite.
1. Where are you from? IN originally now IL
2. How old are you? 25
3. Liberal, Conservative or sick of em both? Sick of them both, near the middle.
4. What MMO's have you played? FFXI, WoW, RFO
5. Who is your favorite Asylum poster? hmm, no favorite but I'll pick Joph for sheer number of posts
6. Tell me your best joke/story A grasshopper walks into a bar and goes to the counter. The bartender says "You know we have a drink named after you?" The grasshopper replies "You have a drink named Steve???"
Ok, not my best but whatever.
7. Wombats. Yes or No? They're cute
Quote:
1. Where are you from? IN originally now IL
2. How old are you? 25
3. Liberal, Conservative or sick of em both? Sick of them both, near the middle.
4. What MMO's have you played? FFXI, WoW, RFO
5. Who is your favorite Asylum poster? hmm, no favorite but I'll pick Joph for sheer number of posts
6. Tell me your best joke/story A grasshopper walks into a bar and goes to the counter. The bartender says "You know we have a drink named after you?" The grasshopper replies "You have a drink named Steve???"
Ok, not my best but whatever.
7. Wombats. Yes or No? They're cute
Quote:
Felons shouldn't have guns. People with a prior history of violence (or assault with a gun, re: brandishing it around and threatening people) shouldn't have guns.
What a bold statement.
Samira wrote:
Quote:
I believe in a God (just not necessarily the one that's in the Bible, Koran, or any other written work out there). To think that there's no afterlife is pretty scary to comprehend.
I'm not at all sure that faith based on fear of the unknown really qualifies as faith at all.
On the other hand, what better foundation for make-believe than fear?
Whoever said I had faith in a god? I just said I believe there is some higher power.
I have faith in what I can do with my own two hands.
I can't stand the religious people that use their faith as a crutch.
If there is a god, like is talked about, how can things like 911, the school being buried in a mud slide, etc.. happen?
trickybeck wrote:
Quote:
Felons shouldn't have guns. People with a prior history of violence (or assault with a gun, re: brandishing it around and threatening people) shouldn't have guns.
What a bold statement.
Like I said to the WoW posters
"If you state a position on something you better be prepared to defend it, you also better be ready if you opinion is bunk"
This would be one of those cases, though arguing with Trickybeck is not something I would want to do.
Bode - 100 Holy Paladin - Lightbringer
It works if you picture God as a 8 year old kid holding an ant farm. Things like that happens when he skakes it.
6. Death Penalty.
Good idea, bad system. 10 years wait for execution is simply ridiculous in many cases. To much ***** footing around for my tastes.
7. The War in Iraq.
Ugh, that's a nasty one. Stupidly done, but it'll be a good thing provided we can actualy make progress with an area where half the population have no intrest in making progress.
8. Gun Control.
Assault rifles and bullet peircing rounds and anything akin to that aren't needed by the general public. Nothing wrong with Standard Rifles and registered handguns in the hands of properly trained owners.
Good idea, bad system. 10 years wait for execution is simply ridiculous in many cases. To much ***** footing around for my tastes.
7. The War in Iraq.
Ugh, that's a nasty one. Stupidly done, but it'll be a good thing provided we can actualy make progress with an area where half the population have no intrest in making progress.
8. Gun Control.
Assault rifles and bullet peircing rounds and anything akin to that aren't needed by the general public. Nothing wrong with Standard Rifles and registered handguns in the hands of properly trained owners.
6. Death Penalty.
Against it. It just seems wrong especially with DNA testing and life in jail is cheaper... I'm not saying let people walk if they're guilty.
7. The War in Iraq.
Against it. They keep changing the reasons... first weapons, then save Iraq from Sadaam, now to spread Democracy...
8. Gun Control.
Against it. People can have guns. It's fine. I don't care. I just think we need an IQ test for BB guns so my suitemate stops shooting me through the hole in the wall... door.
Against it. It just seems wrong especially with DNA testing and life in jail is cheaper... I'm not saying let people walk if they're guilty.
7. The War in Iraq.
Against it. They keep changing the reasons... first weapons, then save Iraq from Sadaam, now to spread Democracy...
8. Gun Control.
Against it. People can have guns. It's fine. I don't care. I just think we need an IQ test for BB guns so my suitemate stops shooting me through the hole in the wall... door.
Cheese is evil. As a Paladin, I destroy cheese-based creatures.
Duke Youshutup wrote:
Jesus christ, save me from this sea of shi[/i]t.
Somehow I get the impression he couldn't give a damn.
Ok, now to reply to the political questions.
1. Homosexuality.
Who cares, its your life.
2. Evolution
a)good theory and cant explain everything
3. Gitmo/Abu Ghraib Abuses
neither, its wrong but I had no influence so why the hell would I be ashamed?
4. Immigrants
a)Helped found America immigrants should just join legally (I don't know how hard it is to become a citizen, if its too hard that should be changed)
5. Abortion Personally don't agree with it but I'm not gonna tell others what to do.
6. Death Penalty.
Don't really care, they need to revamp jails so they don't have tv, etc.
7. The War in Iraq.
Why the hell are we in any other country, not just Iraq? That's what the UN should be for.
8. Gun Control.
Whoever holds it controls it.
Quote:
1. Homosexuality.
Who cares, its your life.
2. Evolution
a)good theory and cant explain everything
3. Gitmo/Abu Ghraib Abuses
neither, its wrong but I had no influence so why the hell would I be ashamed?
4. Immigrants
a)Helped found America immigrants should just join legally (I don't know how hard it is to become a citizen, if its too hard that should be changed)
5. Abortion Personally don't agree with it but I'm not gonna tell others what to do.
6. Death Penalty.
Don't really care, they need to revamp jails so they don't have tv, etc.
7. The War in Iraq.
Why the hell are we in any other country, not just Iraq? That's what the UN should be for.
8. Gun Control.
Whoever holds it controls it.
Hmm, so this is the big bad Asylum?
Cool.
Cool.
bodhisattva wrote:
trickybeck wrote:
Quote:
Felons shouldn't have guns. People with a prior history of violence (or assault with a gun, re: brandishing it around and threatening people) shouldn't have guns.
What a bold statement.
Like I said to the WoW posters
"If you state a position on something you better be prepared to defend it, you also better be ready if you opinion is bunk"
This would be one of those cases, though arguing with Trickybeck is not something I would want to do.
Ask a quicky question, get a quicky answer.
This is a thread of nothing but quicky questions with quicky answers. You want good and deep discussion, ask pointed questions.
But what the hell, I got a couple minutes before I go home.
Gun Control-
Owning a gun is a right and a responsibility. It's something you have to prove you're mentally capable of handling. When we finally get a house with a yard, I'm buying my son a BB gun. He'll learn to respect the gun and what it means, and if he acts irresponsible with it, he won't have it anymore.
I own a shotgun. I've had it since I was 10. I don't keep it at my house now because I have no where to safely store it that is out of reach of the kids (and it's not my kids I'm worried about touching and playing with it, it's their friends).
Should some kid that has a history of violence (been in and out of juvie for example) be allowed to legally own a gun? No. Not until he's proven that he can mentally handle the responsibility.
I have a friend with a concealed weapon permit (and it's VERY scary how easy those are to get up here in NH). When we go out, he won't leave the clip in the gun just in case his car is broken into, he brings it with him.
Guns aren't toys. With a gun you have the power over life and death. An accident can be fatal.
You have the right to own a gun, but you should have to prove that you can handle the responsibility. As it stands right now, it's too easy to get one legally. It's not necessarily an issue of tighter regulations as it is of being smart about it.
I'm all for the idea of training courses. Registering gun owners is a step in the right direction, but it's not enough.
Someone with a clean record should be allowed to purchase/own a gun if they so choose, but they should also be forced to be trained in the use/care/safety of that gun.
[quote]1. Where are you from?
Minnesota
2. How old are you?
REALLY OLD, 44
3. Liberal, Conservative or sick of em both?
Libra
4. What MMO's have you played?
EQ and Ogame. Thinking about trying out Eve-online. Why'd you quit Bhodi?
5. Who is your favorite Asylum poster?
You're all my favourite in your own special ways.
6. Tell me your best joke/story
What do you call a row of rabbits hopping backwards?
7. Wombats. Yes or No?
Only when Koa is around. (I save them specially for him)
Minnesota
2. How old are you?
REALLY OLD, 44
3. Liberal, Conservative or sick of em both?
Libra
4. What MMO's have you played?
EQ and Ogame. Thinking about trying out Eve-online. Why'd you quit Bhodi?
5. Who is your favorite Asylum poster?
You're all my favourite in your own special ways.
6. Tell me your best joke/story
What do you call a row of rabbits hopping backwards?
7. Wombats. Yes or No?
Only when Koa is around. (I save them specially for him)
Alma wrote:
I lost my post
Bodhis Short Political Orientation Quiz
1. Homosexuality.
a) Right or b) Wrong.
Answer a implies that all liberals are homosexual in that if homosexuality is right for you, you're gay. The precise politically defining answers would be a) deserve the same legal rights as a heterosexual couple and b) deserve no legal rights.
That said, my answer is, "Eeeww, get off me, girlyman!". It's b) wrong for me so I really don't give a crap about their legal rights. Get married, don't get married, whatever, I don't care, just don't try to push it into my life.
2. Evolution
a)good theory or b)excludes god and cant explain everything
It's a good theory, and it's probably quite accurate in most things, but it's proponents often try to exclude the possibility of a God and it certainly can't explain everything.
3. Gitmo/Abu Ghraib Abuses
a)national disgrace or b) the terrorists have it coming
National disgrace. Even though some of them surely have it coming, we have to be true to our own laws, and the spirit of those laws.
4. Immigrants
a)Helped found America or b) enough is enough close the borders
Helped found America, but enough is enough already.
5. Abortion
a) A womans right or b) murder
Woman's right.
I guess that puts me on the liberal side, but I'd like to say a bit about the "liberal" and "conservative" ideals.
Technically speaking, "liberals" want more government involvement in citizen's affairs, yet "liberals" are typically Pro Choice (the woman's responsibility, not the government's). "Conservatives" want less government involvement, yet most are Pro Life (government's call, the woman has no say).
There are many other issues where these terms are contradictory, but abortion is the clearest one. In many many ways, very much in general, it seems to me that "liberals" want more personal freedom and government help with less governmental control, while "conservatives" want to help less and control more, and personal freedoms (including privacy) are subject to government review.
Since I see this more and more these days, I'll go ahead and say I'm a liberal . . . with a mind of my own on specific issues.
1. Homosexuality.
a) Right or b) Wrong.
Answer a implies that all liberals are homosexual in that if homosexuality is right for you, you're gay. The precise politically defining answers would be a) deserve the same legal rights as a heterosexual couple and b) deserve no legal rights.
That said, my answer is, "Eeeww, get off me, girlyman!". It's b) wrong for me so I really don't give a crap about their legal rights. Get married, don't get married, whatever, I don't care, just don't try to push it into my life.
2. Evolution
a)good theory or b)excludes god and cant explain everything
It's a good theory, and it's probably quite accurate in most things, but it's proponents often try to exclude the possibility of a God and it certainly can't explain everything.
3. Gitmo/Abu Ghraib Abuses
a)national disgrace or b) the terrorists have it coming
National disgrace. Even though some of them surely have it coming, we have to be true to our own laws, and the spirit of those laws.
4. Immigrants
a)Helped found America or b) enough is enough close the borders
Helped found America, but enough is enough already.
5. Abortion
a) A womans right or b) murder
Woman's right.
I guess that puts me on the liberal side, but I'd like to say a bit about the "liberal" and "conservative" ideals.
Technically speaking, "liberals" want more government involvement in citizen's affairs, yet "liberals" are typically Pro Choice (the woman's responsibility, not the government's). "Conservatives" want less government involvement, yet most are Pro Life (government's call, the woman has no say).
There are many other issues where these terms are contradictory, but abortion is the clearest one. In many many ways, very much in general, it seems to me that "liberals" want more personal freedom and government help with less governmental control, while "conservatives" want to help less and control more, and personal freedoms (including privacy) are subject to government review.
Since I see this more and more these days, I'll go ahead and say I'm a liberal . . . with a mind of my own on specific issues.
Introduce yourself
1. Where are you from?
Everyone complains about the cost of good ****, but I say "If it's a midget in a cat suit, HOW CAN YOU PUT A PRICE ON THAT??"
2. How old are you?
There is an art to the flipping of a pancake. You need iron will, icy concntration, and a collection of essential oils and bath salts.
3. Liberal, Conservative or sick of em both?
A donkey broke into my house one day. I said, "Hi donkey!" and ate a french fry.
4. What MMO's have you played?
Pez and grape koolaid. Cracker Jacks, if it's warm out.
5. Who is your favorite Asylum poster?
Metallica
6. Tell me your best joke/story
the Boston Pops, definitely
7. Wombats. Yes or No?
In the interest of decency, I must say lingerie
1. Where are you from?
Everyone complains about the cost of good ****, but I say "If it's a midget in a cat suit, HOW CAN YOU PUT A PRICE ON THAT??"
2. How old are you?
There is an art to the flipping of a pancake. You need iron will, icy concntration, and a collection of essential oils and bath salts.
3. Liberal, Conservative or sick of em both?
A donkey broke into my house one day. I said, "Hi donkey!" and ate a french fry.
4. What MMO's have you played?
Pez and grape koolaid. Cracker Jacks, if it's warm out.
5. Who is your favorite Asylum poster?
Metallica
6. Tell me your best joke/story
the Boston Pops, definitely
7. Wombats. Yes or No?
In the interest of decency, I must say lingerie
Thinking about trying out Eve-online. Why'd you quit Bhodi?
I actually have my account active again and I am in the same corporation as Danalog. Buddy program lets you play for 14 days.
Download here http://www.eve-online.com/download/ send me a PM once you have the game on your comp and I will send you buddy key that will let you play for 2 weeks. If after that you like its its 29.99 for game and first month and you can buy it online from same site. Very easy.
I actually have my account active again and I am in the same corporation as Danalog. Buddy program lets you play for 14 days.
Download here http://www.eve-online.com/download/ send me a PM once you have the game on your comp and I will send you buddy key that will let you play for 2 weeks. If after that you like its its 29.99 for game and first month and you can buy it online from same site. Very easy.
Bode - 100 Holy Paladin - Lightbringer
Greetings ****, scaredy cats and nancies.
Introduce yourself
1. Where are you from?
Annapolis, MD
2. How old are you?
26/M
3. Liberal, Conservative or sick of em both?
There are problems inherent to the system and the whole Liberal vs Conservative thing just detracts attention from that. I make up my mind on a case by case basis.
4. What MMO's have you played?
The big three. EQ from just after RoK's release to a few months after PoP. FFXI casually, which means I the got 6 main jobs between 25 and 35 and did way too much crafting and fishing. Been on WoW for a while now.
5. Who is your favorite Asylum poster?
What number sock is proof up to now?
6. Tell me your best joke/story
When I was 16 I skipped town and lived in a van for about 8 months to go see the left coast. Somewhere between visiting Boulder, CO for a month and this little crack town just north of Tiajuana (where crack pipes were on the coffee tables of every house I visited and their use was politely offered as one would a cup of tea) our battery died and we had to get a jump every time we wanted to move the van for the next two months or so. We met up with these two vampires Michael and Star (seriously), and Michael had this amazing ability to play his guitar on an empty street corner for a few hours and end up with $200 in his case at the end of it.
Later on in the trip, in Santa Cruz there was a lunatic old man, Tom, that worked the graveyard shift at a local gas station who we liked to visit and talk to. One day this scary half latino girl with the most gorgeous eyes who decided I was her boyfriend (I had no say in the matter) was molesting me in the back of the van while my traveling companions were inside talking to Tom and some unknown fuc[/i]kstick stole Michael's guitar, which was leaning against the van at the time (yes I was was in the van but was heavily distracted).
So the next day we went on a fundraising tour around the places we had met people (one of whom I met the first night in Santa Cruz, called himself "the bi[/b]tch", and let me tag along with him on several occassions where we would tour the towns grocery stores and farms asking for food donations which we would later pass out to other homeless people at a table set up in a random location with the b[b]itch wielding a spatula and yelling "by the people, for the people, feed the people" in his indistinguishable from Cheech Marin voice) to replace the guitar which required moving the van.
At a particular stop on our tour, a sort of trailer park but with tents, we were unable to find anyone who could give us a jumpstart for about thirty minutes when finally the owner of the car in front of us decided to leave. We asked this 70something woman if she could spare a minute to help us get the van started and she kindly obliged. Now, usually when you ask someone for a jump and they agree, they will help you get their car started, you thank them twice and you both go on your way, but not this time. The kindly owner of the hatchback in front of us, easily a car older than I, after hearing of our stolen guitar and after we had thanked her twice, interrupted with the sudden inquiry "Do you like dragons?".
She decided that it was a good time to discuss her interests and share her troubles with some strangers. Come to find out her car had been broken into not two nights earlier, and she was very upset. She also enjoyed the color green more than I would have expected. The conversation was entirely held by her for about ten minutes before we realized we would have to actively try to escape her company or never part it. The subject returned to the theft of some items from her car and she insisted we not leave until she showed us the documentation. In the end we drove away with this woman walking the sidewalk next to the van, still rambling about mystical creatures with the actual police report of her auto theft incident in my good friend Sixx, driver/owner of the van's pocket.
We went around and completed our tour and raised enough money to replace the guitar and later that night Star and I were talking to Tom when we noticed Sixx laughing hysterically to himself. He was looking through his pockets for soda money (he never went a waking moment without a cigarette in one hand and either caffeine or liquor in the other) and had found the police report and started reading it. It had went unnoticed in our rush to escape the dragon lady that what she had reported stolen from her car included several guitars and amps, a surfboard, and many things that would never fit in a hatchback, not to mention Mr ******* Vibrating ***** among 12 other sexual devices (she must have been a fiesty old broad).
We decided to leave Santa Cruz shortly afterwards, but told this very story to a group of friendly hippies heading the other direction the same day before we left ourselves. We somehow saw fit to send the police report (dubbed "The List") with them, that it might travel and spread its cheer in the mountains of the northern states and Canada. I only wish I would have kept it as proof that this story is 100% true.
If any of you know a hippie with
7. Wombats. Yes or No?
No, I'd rather just put up with the Chihuahuas.
[i]Edited, Tue Feb 21 19:12:04 2006 by highRfrequenC
Introduce yourself
1. Where are you from?
Annapolis, MD
2. How old are you?
26/M
3. Liberal, Conservative or sick of em both?
There are problems inherent to the system and the whole Liberal vs Conservative thing just detracts attention from that. I make up my mind on a case by case basis.
4. What MMO's have you played?
The big three. EQ from just after RoK's release to a few months after PoP. FFXI casually, which means I the got 6 main jobs between 25 and 35 and did way too much crafting and fishing. Been on WoW for a while now.
5. Who is your favorite Asylum poster?
What number sock is proof up to now?
6. Tell me your best joke/story
When I was 16 I skipped town and lived in a van for about 8 months to go see the left coast. Somewhere between visiting Boulder, CO for a month and this little crack town just north of Tiajuana (where crack pipes were on the coffee tables of every house I visited and their use was politely offered as one would a cup of tea) our battery died and we had to get a jump every time we wanted to move the van for the next two months or so. We met up with these two vampires Michael and Star (seriously), and Michael had this amazing ability to play his guitar on an empty street corner for a few hours and end up with $200 in his case at the end of it.
Later on in the trip, in Santa Cruz there was a lunatic old man, Tom, that worked the graveyard shift at a local gas station who we liked to visit and talk to. One day this scary half latino girl with the most gorgeous eyes who decided I was her boyfriend (I had no say in the matter) was molesting me in the back of the van while my traveling companions were inside talking to Tom and some unknown fuc[/i]kstick stole Michael's guitar, which was leaning against the van at the time (yes I was was in the van but was heavily distracted).
So the next day we went on a fundraising tour around the places we had met people (one of whom I met the first night in Santa Cruz, called himself "the bi[/b]tch", and let me tag along with him on several occassions where we would tour the towns grocery stores and farms asking for food donations which we would later pass out to other homeless people at a table set up in a random location with the b[b]itch wielding a spatula and yelling "by the people, for the people, feed the people" in his indistinguishable from Cheech Marin voice) to replace the guitar which required moving the van.
At a particular stop on our tour, a sort of trailer park but with tents, we were unable to find anyone who could give us a jumpstart for about thirty minutes when finally the owner of the car in front of us decided to leave. We asked this 70something woman if she could spare a minute to help us get the van started and she kindly obliged. Now, usually when you ask someone for a jump and they agree, they will help you get their car started, you thank them twice and you both go on your way, but not this time. The kindly owner of the hatchback in front of us, easily a car older than I, after hearing of our stolen guitar and after we had thanked her twice, interrupted with the sudden inquiry "Do you like dragons?".
She decided that it was a good time to discuss her interests and share her troubles with some strangers. Come to find out her car had been broken into not two nights earlier, and she was very upset. She also enjoyed the color green more than I would have expected. The conversation was entirely held by her for about ten minutes before we realized we would have to actively try to escape her company or never part it. The subject returned to the theft of some items from her car and she insisted we not leave until she showed us the documentation. In the end we drove away with this woman walking the sidewalk next to the van, still rambling about mystical creatures with the actual police report of her auto theft incident in my good friend Sixx, driver/owner of the van's pocket.
We went around and completed our tour and raised enough money to replace the guitar and later that night Star and I were talking to Tom when we noticed Sixx laughing hysterically to himself. He was looking through his pockets for soda money (he never went a waking moment without a cigarette in one hand and either caffeine or liquor in the other) and had found the police report and started reading it. It had went unnoticed in our rush to escape the dragon lady that what she had reported stolen from her car included several guitars and amps, a surfboard, and many things that would never fit in a hatchback, not to mention Mr ******* Vibrating ***** among 12 other sexual devices (she must have been a fiesty old broad).
We decided to leave Santa Cruz shortly afterwards, but told this very story to a group of friendly hippies heading the other direction the same day before we left ourselves. We somehow saw fit to send the police report (dubbed "The List") with them, that it might travel and spread its cheer in the mountains of the northern states and Canada. I only wish I would have kept it as proof that this story is 100% true.
If any of you know a hippie with
7. Wombats. Yes or No?
No, I'd rather just put up with the Chihuahuas.
[i]Edited, Tue Feb 21 19:12:04 2006 by highRfrequenC
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