Someone -- I don't know who yet -- is displaying some highly inappropriate bathroom behavior at my office. Problem #1: Half of his bladder's contents appears to reach the floor rather than in the urinal. Probelm #2: The half that makes it in the urinal does not get flushed down.
I could probably deal with this I suppose, except for the fact that THE MOTHERFU[/U]CKER HAS GOT THE STINKEST RANKEST URNINE KNOWN TO MAN OR BEAST.
Something must be done. Please advise.
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If the man has such poor aim, I'm willing to be he's pissed a good amount on his hands. Go around sniffing your co-workers for said urine smell and, you should be able to figure out who it is. Then toss urine soaked paper towles in his trash bin.
SKS 45.
a bit more unruly than the AK, but cheaper and just as effective.
a bit more unruly than the AK, but cheaper and just as effective.
If it bothers you so much just find a different place to eat your lunch.
You all share one bathroom?
Eat some asparagus and seek revenge.
I spit in the urinal before I pee. Mine
28 posts
Quote:
If it bothers you so much just find a different place to eat your lunch.
I'm sorry but that made my day.
Quote:
Apparently, men will subconsciously gravitate toward the 'target' and some will downright aim for it.
I'm not sure if this is just a local thing, but all the VFW lodges in the area where I live have Hanoi Jane Urinal Targets. I imagine that everyone that uses those urinals aims for it.
As an alternative, you could try filling the urnial with snow. That way when he goes to take a ****, he'll see the snow and instinctively write his name in it. You'll probably have to do a little guess work if he's like most men and can only manage to squeek out the first 2-3 letters, but it's still a start.
Edited, Fri Feb 17 14:42:30 2006 by Jacobsdeception
Baron von AngstyCoder wrote:
One country (Denmark?) placed a decal of a bug such as a fly at the top corner of the part of the urinal into which one pees. Spillage decreased greatly. Apparently, men will subconsciously gravitate toward the 'target' and some will downright aim for it.
I have killed more than one actual bug in this fashion. It was strangley satisfying.
But you might be onto something here. Perhaps if I place a decal of my boss's head in the urinal....
Kelvyquayo, Eater of Souls wrote:
I sniff each urinal before I pee. Then I lick the mint in the one I choose to use. Mine
Fixed for accuracy.
The bathrooms at my work ar rancid too. I donno if its there ****, we have infared flushers, but if ur alone and keep ur distance they dont work so great. Its rather nasty most of the time.
mmm mints 
Live with it?
Get one of these, but the one with the bullseye.
Which I saw in a magazine once, but google is failing to find >.<
Which I saw in a magazine once, but google is failing to find >.<
"The Rich are there to take all of the money & pay none of the taxes, the middle class is there to do all the work and pay all the taxes, and the poor are there to scare the crap out of the middle class." -George Carlin
Don't use the employee bathroom. Rather move the bathroom to your cubicle/office with this
Get a keychain blue light. They're cheap, like $5 now that LED lights are popular. Shine it on a few likely suspects and see who has urine stains all over their trousers. As Fender stated, he's pissing down his own leg, too.
Step two. You have to know a butcher...
Step two. You have to know a butcher...
TStephens wrote:
Get a keychain blue light. They're cheap, like $5 now that LED lights are popular. Shine it on a few likely suspects and see who has urine stains all over their trousers. As Fender stated, he's pissing down his own leg, too.
I guess that's easier than sniffing crotches.
Edited, Fri Feb 17 18:32:19 2006 by fenderputy
Less fun at parties, though.
TStephens wrote:
Get a keychain blue light. They're cheap, like $5 now that LED lights are popular. Shine it on a few likely suspects and see who has urine stains all over their trousers. As Fender stated, he's pissing down his own leg, too.
An intriguing idea. But let's say I do identify the foul beast. Then what?? This is where the real dilemma begins....
I could just mow down the entire office with machine gun fire like Kelvy hinted -- and there would be some fantastic perks with that method -- but there's a young, super-hawt office chick who walks around and gives me a perpetual viagarific ***** all day. I'd hate to give that up...
Step one: Open Microsoft Word or some other word processing software.
Step two: Type "Please, whomever you are, stop pissing on the floor. Thanks."
Step three: Print and post over every urinal and in every stall. For added effect, draw a stick figure vomiting/holding its nose.
Done.
Step two: Type "Please, whomever you are, stop pissing on the floor. Thanks."
Step three: Print and post over every urinal and in every stall. For added effect, draw a stick figure vomiting/holding its nose.
Done.
Flea has the right idea, then follow up with TStephens idea if the pissing problem does'nt stop.
TS I've found that a pig farmer works just as well as a butcher 
Kel going back to the man spits on his territory again? I vaguely remember that thread.
Kel going back to the man spits on his territory again? I vaguely remember that thread.
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