Goodbye PostFollow

It was a long cold winter in the Canadian shield. Even the beavers were spending all their time huddled in their wooden fortresses making like their long earred cousins. Overhead the beavers can hear the sounds of the hunter, walking along their fortress crossing the frozen river. The burly hunter takes a moment to listen. He listens closely to what the frozen forest has to tell him. Being more of city person, the hunter did not understand the forest gibberish, so he gave up and continued on his hunt of the great grizzly.

What the hunter didn't realize was that he was in turn being stalked. The hunter (being only level 2), stops to relieve himself at a tree. He chose the big oak tree even though the sapling maple trees would have done the job in ensuring his privacy. Visions of grandeur filled his mind, partially due to the hopes of a great hunt and partially due to the misgivings about his man-post.

Rather suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, the great grizzly bear rears up behind the hunter and emits a roar that could be heard for miles. The actual pitch of this roar is unknown, however it is believed that it was in the range of the brown note, due to the effect it had on the hunter. The hunter in shock screamed like a little Sabo who has just been told he is going to live with the Dallas Cowboys. The bear, believing it was rude to point, swings his enormous paw, tearing into the hunter's exposed flesh leaving him reeling in pain and agony.

The bear, pleased with the outcome, turns and wanders off into the cold and desolate forest. The hunter, with damaged ego and body, places a call on his cell phone to get some help. Speaking with the paramedic on the other end of the line he asks if his ***** could ever be salvaged. Regrettably, it could not. The hunter unable to move or reach his gun, holds the stub that used to be his right hand's best friend. Thinking to himself - "Goodbye man-post, there were so many fields left to plow, but now I'll be lucky to smell the taco."

Fin.





Edited, Thu Feb 16 15:56:37 2006 by Elderon

There is unrest in the forest,
There is trouble with the trees,
For the maples want more sunlight
And the oaks ignore their pleas.

The trouble with the maples,
(And they're quite convinced they're right)
They say the oaks are just too lofty
And they grab up all the light.
But the oaks can't help their feelings
If they like the way they're made.
And they wonder why the maples
Can't be happy in their shade.

There is trouble in the forest,
And the creatures all have fled,
As the maples scream "Oppression!"
And the oaks just shake their heads

So the maples formed a union
And demanded equal rights.
"The oaks are just too greedy;
We will make them give us light."
Now there's no more oak oppression,
For they passed a noble law,
And the trees are all kept equal
By hatchet, axe, and saw.

Did you hear the one about the new rule admitting dogs to gay bars?


They say it's because eveything they do is doggy style.