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It's nearly Snipping DayFollow

#1 Jan 31 2006 at 1:01 PM Rating: Decent
Skelly Poker Since 2008
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So here's the deal.

They cut a little teeny hole at the base of teh D[b][/b]ICK. Then they just reach in with a hooky thing and pull out the tubes. Snip the tubes, seal off the ends, stick them back inside and sew up the teeny hole. That's it.

BUT!

You're still not safe.

After waiting at least one week before sex, you have to ejaculate 12 times, collect a sample on the 13th and have it analyzed. You're sample should be free and clear of sperm. If it is - no more worries!!! Smiley: grin



(my husband is freaking out)



I will never understand the swear filter





Edited, Tue Jan 31 13:02:33 2006 by Elinda
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#2 Jan 31 2006 at 1:04 PM Rating: Good
Elinda wrote:
After waiting at least one week before sex, you have to ejaculate 12 times, collect a sample on the 13th and have it analyzed. Smiley: grin
Sounds like an average afternoon. Remember, saliva will not skew the results. Make it a fun time for poor Mr. Happy.
#3 Jan 31 2006 at 1:09 PM Rating: Good
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So let me get this straight.

A simple procedure with minimal pain. A week of down time. You then have to ********** 12 times on the 13th time they ask that you do it into a cup. After that you are free to have all the unprotected sex you want without fear of knocking a chick up?

Win win situation if you ask me.
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#4 Jan 31 2006 at 1:13 PM Rating: Decent
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I did mention the part about not getting to have anymore kids right?
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#5 Jan 31 2006 at 1:15 PM Rating: Decent
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bodhisattva wrote:
So let me get this straight.
You then have to ********** 12 times on the 13th time they ask that you do it into a cup.
YOU may have to **********. I don't intend to let my man though.
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#6 Jan 31 2006 at 1:15 PM Rating: Good
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Hurts like hell getting it put back together but the snip is nothing.
#7 Jan 31 2006 at 1:16 PM Rating: Good
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Elinda wrote:
I did mention the part about not getting to have anymore kids right?


Frankly I would blackmail you into all types of freaky sex.

"C'mon baby I got f[b][/b]ucking sterilized for you, the least you could do is....."


By the end of the week you would probably be thinking to yourself "it would have been less work to get pregnant!"
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#8 Jan 31 2006 at 1:18 PM Rating: Good
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Poor Mr. Happy. Smiley: frown

I do agree, however, that extensive oral therapy is the only way to make this up to him.
#9 Jan 31 2006 at 1:18 PM Rating: Decent
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Quote:
I did mention the part about not getting to have anymore kids right?



nevermind, answered my own question

Edited, Tue Jan 31 13:21:35 2006 by Molish
#10 Jan 31 2006 at 1:20 PM Rating: Good
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The Glorious Atomicflea wrote:
Poor Mr. Happy. Smiley: frown

I do agree, however, that extensive oral therapy is the only way to make this up to him.


I'd take you to an award show any day AF.
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#11 Jan 31 2006 at 1:22 PM Rating: Good
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bodhisattva wrote:
The Glorious Atomicflea wrote:
Poor Mr. Happy. Smiley: frown

I do agree, however, that extensive oral therapy is the only way to make this up to him.


I'd take you to an award show any day AF.

There wouldnt be any room for you with Nexa in the second seat. I could let you keep it warm for her when she went to the bathroom, though.
#12 Jan 31 2006 at 1:24 PM Rating: Good
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The Glorious Atomicflea wrote:
bodhisattva wrote:
The Glorious Atomicflea wrote:
Poor Mr. Happy. Smiley: frown

I do agree, however, that extensive oral therapy is the only way to make this up to him.


I'd take you to an award show any day AF.

There wouldnt be any room for you with Nexa in the second seat.


Are you implying that Nexa is fat?

How catty!
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#13 Jan 31 2006 at 1:29 PM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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Elinda wrote:

(my husband is freaking out)


He's freaking out about a procedure that isn't even an elevendy-kadillionth as painful as childbirth, doesn't require nine-months of uncomfortable preparation, and has a recovery time that is about 6-8 weeks shorter? Also, it won't make him fat, give him hemroids, or stretchmarks?

Tell him to get over it.

Nexa
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“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#14 Jan 31 2006 at 1:32 PM Rating: Good
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Nexa wrote:
Also, it won't make him fat, give him hemroids, or stretchmarks?


Dude?

definitely no awards shows for you.
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#15 Jan 31 2006 at 1:34 PM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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bodhisattva wrote:
Nexa wrote:
Also, it won't make him fat, give him hemroids, or stretchmarks?


Dude?

definitely no awards shows for you.


Luckily I didn't have that problem, but it's not uncommon. I forgot to mention that some women suffer from incontinence during pregnancy and after childbirth. Be prepared if you want any rugrats.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#16 Jan 31 2006 at 1:36 PM Rating: Good
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Nexa wrote:
bodhisattva wrote:
Nexa wrote:
Also, it won't make him fat, give him hemroids, or stretchmarks?


Dude?

definitely no awards shows for you.


Luckily I didn't have that problem, but it's not uncommon. I forgot to mention that some women suffer from incontinence during pregnancy and after childbirth. Be prepared if you want any rugrats.

Nexa


My sister is getting closer and closer to 30 and the maternal clock is ticking. She was starting to jones for a baby until her friend got pregant. Apparently she had loose stool for most of the pregnancy and all kinds of unpleasant stuff like that. Afterwards my sister was a little more leary about the who baby thing and her boyfriend of 11 years was breathing easy.
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#17 Jan 31 2006 at 1:43 PM Rating: Excellent
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Nexa wrote:
He's freaking out about a procedure that isn't even an elevendy-kadillionth as painful as childbirth, doesn't require nine-months of uncomfortable preparation, and has a recovery time that is about 6-8 weeks shorter? Also, it won't make him fat, give him hemroids, or stretchmarks?
On the plus side, you get that awesome cross to nail yourself to Smiley: grin
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#18 Jan 31 2006 at 1:45 PM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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Yeah, there are exercises and stuff you can do that are supposed to help, but who the hell wants to exercise when you're already exhausted and off balance and grouchy, haha? I used to want three kids, but I think two will do it..unless I adopt.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#19 Jan 31 2006 at 1:46 PM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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Jophiel wrote:
On the plus side, you get that awesome cross to nail yourself to Smiley: grin


It is lovely, I use it for hanging birdfeeders when I'm not *********

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#20 Jan 31 2006 at 1:49 PM Rating: Good
Nexa wrote:
Yeah, there are exercises and stuff you can do that are supposed to help, but who the hell wants to exercise when you're already exhausted and off balance and grouchy, haha? I used to want three kids, but I think two will do it..unless I adopt.

Nexa
My wife birthed 4. Wuss.
#21 Jan 31 2006 at 1:51 PM Rating: Decent
Skelly Poker Since 2008
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16,781 posts
Nexa wrote:
Elinda wrote:

(my husband is freaking out)


He's freaking out about a procedure that isn't even an elevendy-kadillionth as painful as childbirth, doesn't require nine-months of uncomfortable preparation, and has a recovery time that is about 6-8 weeks shorter? Also, it won't make him fat, give him hemroids, or stretchmarks?

Tell him to get over it.

Nexa
Yes, he's worried about the one in elevendy-kadillionth chance that things won't work properly afterwards.

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#22 Jan 31 2006 at 1:56 PM Rating: Decent
Nexa wrote:
Elinda wrote:

(my husband is freaking out)


He's freaking out about a procedure that isn't even an elevendy-kadillionth as painful as childbirth, doesn't require nine-months of uncomfortable preparation, and has a recovery time that is about 6-8 weeks shorter? Also, it won't make him fat, give him hemroids, or stretchmarks?

Tell him to get over it.

Nexa



I'd be worried about botch-ups, causing such [sarcasm]unimportant[/sarcasm] things as impotence, for example. Slice a nerve somewhere on accident (And don't tell me that there's an infinitesimally small chance of it happening, the point is that there's a chance), and sure, no babies, but no sex for j00 either.


Would it be as painful as childbirth if the procedure went properly? Of course not. But the risk is a stressful one. Anytime going under a knife is stressful, because, well, Shi[i][/i]t happens. If you were to get your tubes tied/cut, you'd be freaking out a bit of some person going inside of you and slicing things up, I'd wager.

Have a <3 Smiley: frown.





Not that I'm devaluing the labors of childbirth or anything I'm just saying that I feel for the guy.



(that last part is a FTFY waiting to happen...)
#23 Jan 31 2006 at 2:02 PM Rating: Decent
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Althrun the Silent wrote:
Nexa wrote:
Elinda wrote:

(my husband is freaking out)


He's freaking out about a procedure that isn't even an elevendy-kadillionth as painful as childbirth, doesn't require nine-months of uncomfortable preparation, and has a recovery time that is about 6-8 weeks shorter? Also, it won't make him fat, give him hemroids, or stretchmarks?

Tell him to get over it.

Nexa



I'd be worried about botch-ups, causing such [sarcasm]unimportant[/sarcasm] things as impotence, for example. Slice a nerve somewhere on accident (And don't tell me that there's an infinitesimally small chance of it happening, the point is that there's a chance), and sure, no babies, but no sex for j00 either.


Would it be as painful as childbirth if the procedure went properly? Of course not. But the risk is a stressful one. Anytime going under a knife is stressful, because, well, Shi[i][/i]t happens. If you were to get your tubes tied/cut, you'd be freaking out a bit of some person going inside of you and slicing things up, I'd wager.


I would have to say that as a general rule men try to keep sharp objects away from their manhood. I’ve gone through 6 surgeries. Half of them were more serious then this supposed simple procedure. That doesn’t make having someone cut the base of my wing-dang any easier.
#24 Jan 31 2006 at 2:02 PM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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Elderon the Wise wrote:


My wife birthed 4. Wuss.


I can live with that title if it means I don't have to be pregnant three more times. Smiley: grin

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#25 Jan 31 2006 at 2:04 PM Rating: Decent
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3,101 posts
Nexa wrote:
Elderon the Wise wrote:


My wife birthed 4. Wuss.


I can live with that title if it means I don't have to be pregnant three more times. Smiley: grin

Nexa


Kao ... get on it.
#26 Jan 31 2006 at 2:05 PM Rating: Good
Nexa wrote:
Elderon the Wise wrote:


My wife birthed 4. Wuss.


I can live with that title if it means I don't have to be pregnant three more times. Smiley: grin

Nexa
8130 posts to go and you're golden.
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