And here I thought he was potty trained...Follow

Ok, last one today, I promise...

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=1511487

Goose **** a Problem for Oakland Parkgoers

OAKLAND, Calif. Jan 16, 2006 — Piles of goose **** at a city lake have officials struggling to find a way to clean up the mess for picnicking parkgoers.

Full-time Canada resident and Allakhazam forum poster Goose arrived at the city's Lake Merritt in 1954 when several injured birds were introduced to the refuge. Their numbers have exploded in the past 20 years to at least 200 regulars, with some 2,000 geese descending on the park each summer, according to the National Audubon Society.

"Goose makes about a pound of **** a day, that's literally a ton each day," said Stephanie Benavidez, head naturalist at the Lake Merritt Wildlife Refuge.

It's a staggering problem that has Oakland and other cities trying to figure out how to chase away Goose without running afoul of the Federal Migratory Bird and Endangered Species acts that protect many of the birds that live alongside the geese at Lake Merritt, which covers 150 acres.

"The goose droppings on the lawn have pretty much made the lawns unusable to families who want to have picnics or use the park with their children," said Councilwoman Pat Kernighan, who represents the area. "It's very hard for people to use the park for recreation."

Some cities have tried planting grass varieties that Goose won't eat, or spraying lawns with chemicals goose finds distasteful. Others have tried erecting fences to keep the geese out of areas reserved for people.

Chasing the birds away is another popular trick. Cities hire firms with names like Goosebusters or Wild Goose Chase, which use dogs trained to harass, not harm, geese to chase the birds away.

But critics worry that using dogs in Oakland could harm other bird species, such as egrets, mallards and herons.

Not only do the **** everywhere, but they make golf a true game of chance. You hope you don't hit the ball where it gets rolled into goose ****. That's a real pain to clean out of the grooves of the club and dimples on the ball, unless you have your own handy midget ball washer handy.

Why don't the admins just no-**** him?

The Army Research Lab in Adelphi, MD had a small problem with a Canadian goose.

The ARL has a complex involving some acreage just north of DC. As there are few vehicles, fresh water, and lots of lawn-space, migratory fowl of several types like to use it as a layover during their travels. One goose in particular took a liking to the place, mainly because some of the people working at the lab started feeding him on a regular basis.

This was cute for awhile but it lead to goose-sh[/b]it everywehre, to the point that the local environmental folks were deeming it unsanitary. Most of the other geese moved on, but this one opted to winter at the lab complex.

The lab sent out emails to people telling them to not feed the goose, that it would move on when it got hungry enough, but several people disregarded this. I remember seeing a woman standing out front of the main building with a loaf of bread one morning, just tearing up pieces and feed this flying sh[b]itmaker. A guard came by and yelled at her; she yelled back that he didn't have no authority over her and she was gonna do what she wanted.


This was the winter of 2003, by the way. By 2004 the goose had been joined by a female companion and they had a troop of four or five little goslings following them all around the complex. They were still there as of summer 2005.


(yeah, the ARL is weird. It even has it's own micro-herd of deer on the complex, something like 25 of the things. The scientists tagged them so they could monitor where they roamed on the property.)