Rekindling old flamesFollow

Have you? Would you? Could you?



No, I never have. I'm not sure if I would or not; I can't imagine the person I was in love with at 16 being someone I'd want to be with now (mainly because we didn't grow up together, making all those tiny adjustments).

Still, I admit to a certain amount of curiosity.

there's a reason exes are exes...

Not while married at any rate. I try not to put myself into situations that raise tension in my marraige on purpose. I do enough of that accidentlly.

My current Girlfriend is the first and only girl I have said I love you to. There is a reason for that No EX could ever come close to comparing to her.

I saw the girl that I "lost it" to a few months ago at the car wash.


She was a soccer mom... driving a mini-van.

I felt old and young at the same time.

I put the ex in sex, baby yeah!

I have no clue how I would react if I was contacted by one of my ex's. On the other hand, aside from a vindictive wish that I'm doing better in life than my ex, I don't want to know how my ex is doing.

It is not difficult to keep oneself separate from one's ex when you either hate the person in question or when you're already in a better relationship. This point is worthless, though - we know our noble scions of the Asylum are masters at setting temptation aside. We raise our ramparts high and laugh at lesser mortals.


That said, the situation described in Samira's post is a difficult one. Consider a situation where you dated someone for three years or more. While you may have run into issues that you could not resolve, and found reason to part company, there were likewise reasons that you stayed together in the first place.

Recent divorcees run into this problem a lot if they have any measure of contact with their ex. It's the reason most states have a cohabitation clause as part of their divorce statute. When you're upset, scared, or lonely, it is easiest to find comfort in familiar things -- and familiar people.

Why is that point worthless? Samira asked about our opinions on it. Just 'cause I've had a series of horrific break-ups is no reason for you to get all uppity.

You can always throw qualifiers on any hypothetical situation to sway the answer. What if we were deeply in love but her parents disapproved and sent her away to a nunnery? Or she had an abusive spouse? Or a rare form of cancer that could only be cured by my magic *****?

However, as it is, I have little intention of contacting the woman who concluded our relationship by threatening me with witchcraft.

That'll teach ya to go poking that thing around indiscriminately.


I remain on pretty decent terms with about half my exes. The other half I hardly think about anymore. There are a couple there that I was very close to and consider friends, and every so often I check up on them either directly or through friends to see how they're doing. About a year back I found out one of them, my high school sweetheart, is terminally ill. They gave him about 5 years to live and I was surprised that it hurt me as deeply as it did. When you love someone, I suppose that (barring a horrid, vindictive breakup, which neither of these was) part of you always cares for them.

That said, when I'm with someone, I'm loyal above all things. No one else exists outside of the person I'm with.

Edited, Tue Jan 10 13:55:35 2006 by Atomicflea

I was friends with one for three years, dated him for two, and then friends for three more before he got married and we stopped speaking out of consideration to his wife (she asked him to). The other guy is a train wreck, but I'll always have a soft spot for him because it was one of those rare cases where we loved the bejesus out of each other but just couldn't make it work. Sometimes, a breakup really isn't anyone's fault. I think those are the cases where it's easiest to stay friendly, if not maintain an active friendship.

QFT

I have had sexual relations with one of my X's. I only had sex with her once, and it was two years after our demise. We didn't speak much of it. I never dealt with her much again.

I do agree that this was rather stupid, and that I lucked out. Normally I would never consider going back, after all, it's like digging through your trash to wear those ratty slippers one more time.