So I have a medically diagnosed problem. I'm Obsessive-Compulsive. For the longest time I doubted the doctor in a way, putting much more into Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder instead of OCD.
Well, stuff happened. I lost faith in a lot of things that kept me going, and I've had many set-backs (of which continue). And only now am I realizing that this disoder, OCD, has tripled in my daily routines and habits.
At work I have these circuit breakers that power two projectors each. For 4 months, for some odd reason I've been afraid to leave anything to chance and can not shut the breaker's case door until I've tapped the switches I've turned off and follow it down the breaker exactly how I previously did in shutting them off.
I have to wash my hands really well now. I used to always joke about that action for people with the disorder, but now, on occasion, I absolutely need to have lathered up a third time.
When I go to bed at night I sometimes cannot sleep for fear of not having the perfect CD to listen to on the ride to work. My keys must allways be clipped to my belt-loop and put in my back pocket, and the car always gets locked, even if I'm going inside a buddy's house for 3 minutes to grab a forgotten cell phone.
Truth is, and my reason for posting this, it's getting really bad. I've been diagnosed, and I've done the prozac thing. Prozac, even in it's smallest 10mg form, I eventually (3 weeks on it) lost my ability to feel things like regret and sadness. It was easier to be out in social situations (not always longing to be home where I can do my own thing with my own stuff), and while I still had some minor routines, I definitely didn't notice (therefore let it impact my lifestyle) them as frequently.
Unfortunately, I can never continuously use prozac for more than a few months due to what I lose mentally (you'd think it'd be fun not to care whether anything you do is 'right' or 'wrong' by society standards.)
My problem in all of this, is how do you admit to your family "hey, I think I'm seriously losing it mentally and I need to get some better help. Sorry I never really let anyone know how bad it's been getting but technically I didn't know until now either." I could just say that, but financially we're getting fu[b][/b]cked up the *** (my dad lost his job).
Does anyone know if a disorder like this is generally covered by insurance? Does anyone know someone who's obsessive-compulsive and has received medical treatment higher than anti-depressants? Any advice? (only from the cool cats out there though. You know who you are.)