Dear MMVIFollow

Dear 2006

Nice to meet you.

I know we've only just met, and I'm sure you're inundated with new fair-weather friends, but the least I could do is acknowledge your arrival with a post on t3h A55ylum.

I know you have a busy time ahead of you, but I wondered if you could see your way to accomodating me in a few ambitions. See, right now, 365 days may seem a great deal, but trust me, before you know it, it'll be New Year's Eve 2006 and you'll be ticking off all those little things that you didn't quite manage to fit into your alotted time.

Let me just help you out with some priorities.

Now, don't get me wrong; I hope that you find it in yourself to sort out Iraq, Israel/Palestine, Global Warming, African Famine and an effective solution to the Garth Brooks problem.

But please, if you can take a few moments to get me seduced by the top 5 finalists in the "Miss Lipstick Lesbian (bi-curious)" competition, I'd be grateful.

Also on my wishlist are:

The death of Hurley in the next episode of "Lost"

6 numbers on the next Lottery draw

A fully documented and proven litigation against Conoleezza

A car that runs on Chimpanzee **** (think of the merchandising possibilities)

A throat infection for Madonna

Peter Jackson to confirm he's been given the Hobbit gig

Pink Floyd to announce a World Tour

Dracoid to get that place at University

I understand you might not run to all of those, but at the very least, I sincerely trust you don't suck *** as badly as 2005 did.

Thank you for listening.

Kisses

Nobby

Dear Nobby

Go fu[/i]ck yourself!

I found you an incoherent drunk ******* upon my arrival. You took my jacket and proceeded to vomit uncontrollably in the pockets. That little ****-waffle of yours threw butternut squash at me and kept screaming something about a bush. I don't know I couldn't understand the little cu[/i]nt. Your booze was watered down (cheap ***) and the Hors Douvres were too salty. I shall consider accomodating you in much the same manner. I look forward to our encounters.

Sincerely,

2006



p.s. You owe me for the cleaning bill on the jacket.

Roman numerals for 2006

M=1000
V=5
I=1
MMVI = 2006

They are really just a bunch of letters that some guys in togas used instead of numbers. They are only used at the end of movie credits so nobody pays attention to them anyway.



Edited, Mon Jan 2 19:24:36 2006 by jewelofmh