An Engineer's view of ChristmasFollow

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau).

At an average (census)rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.

This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element.

Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons, not counting Santa
himself.

On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds.

Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere.

The lead pair of reindeer would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's.

A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

<insert somthing about time-space continuoum Kelvy style>

The Gathering?


What color would Santa be? White?

Nerd.

Blue 'cause he flies. And summons stuff. Kinda.

Santa's sleigh has an inertial dampner field and a reactionless hyperdrive duh! don't you people read any science fiction?

Fancy Santa Claus technology.

Ahem. That rabbit has 2 pancakes on it's head. That is a blatent waste of food and rabbit abuse. The weight of 2 pancakes can easily crush the disks in the rabbit's neck causing it a lifetime of pain and agony, especially if they are soacked with butter, soy margarine or syrop. The SPCA has been notified of your rabbit abuse and will be coming to your house to send you to the big house and to put your poor bunny out of it's misery (and have it for lunch).

For shame. For shame!!

According to the string theory, all the atoms in our bodies are teleporting around the universe to switch places with another atom of it's kind. Santa must be manipulating this Univeral law to be in everyone's house at the same time to deliver the presents.


It's very simple you see.

3 islands and 6 others, sheesh you people really can't see my posts can you :(

I almost read all of that.

After reading half way through the OP, I realize she's finally done it!

She has finally overdosed on caffiene.. It's a sad day indeed. I always thought there was no such thing as too much coffee.