What is flirting?Follow

How would you define it? Where would you draw the line between flirting and chit-chat or flirting and general joking? Is it merely a question of gender that changes banter into something else?

Consider this an off-shoot of the compliments thread. I haven't seen the woman since that day so it's a dead issue but this is just something else I was thinking about. For instance, the ladyfriend claims I flirt. She's not upset or threatened or anything, she simply states it as fact that I do so. I, on the other hand, am slightly shocked at the implication. Not because I feel I'm being judged poorly but because I wouldn't guess to call my talk flirting. In fact, if someone asked me "do you know how to flirt?" I'd laugh at them. In my mind, it's a means to an end. The first step in establishing a cross-gender rapport with the intent of advancing it. So, since I'm not trying to get anywhere, I don't see it as flirting. Since she's not standing behind me she can't give her version of events but that's not too important. I'm more curious to hear how you define it.

If you are being nice, it's flirting. If you make eye-contact, violate personal space, or bump into someone, it's flirting. Talking, laughing, smiling, joking, breathing, eating, etc are all types of flirting.

Don't be helpful, considerate, or selfless either, those are dead giveaways.

Edited, Thu Nov 3 14:19:27 2005 by NephthysWanderer

It's when you stick your finger in her ***.

On the other hand, it would seem flirting has an intentional sexual charge to it. Which would be why some people are so adverse to it. I don't mean that by flirting you're saying "come get some" but that you are changing it from a person to person paradigm to one based on gender and sexuality.

So if it's unintentional, is it flirting?

Without being facecious for just a moment, most flirting is done on the unconscious level. Body language is more important than spoken language when courting. If you are in close proximity to someone you find attractive, without you even thinking about it, your body will react appropriately. That is how it is very possible to have someone at "Hello".

I watched a documentary on first impressions in relationships and ever single time the immediate chemistry decided the rest of the blind date. TV said it so it has to be true.

Flirting isn't always a conscious endeavor. Some people are naturally the flirty type. The line between innocent conversation, innocent flirting, and flirting with purpose will always be blurred due to the subtle nature inherent in flirtation, regardless of the initial intentions.

To me, overt flirting is more akin to asking a woman "What's yer sign?" than the playful art which it should be. It could be as simple as catching a crosswise glance with that look in her eyes while passing each other in the office or as elaborate as setting up specific situations in which one can display affection without being out of context in one's actions.

/nod but I'll embellish it a littl e bit more. For one thing Flea, if you held my hand, while you and I may not think anything of it at all, my husband would think you and I were flirting. I think it all depends on your own personal view of what flirting constitutes, so it will be different for each person.

For me, there are two types of flirting: the innocent, joking kind, where no matter what it looks like the two people know there is no chance in hell it will lead to anything. And then there is the flirting where each person is trying to lead it to something. I flirt with my guy friends, but it's a completely innocent, joking way, and hubby knows it. It's who I am and how I have always been. I'm not looking for sex or any hanky panky, but I do enjoy making a guy blush because I know I can, even if its my best guy friend from highschool who know me well enough to know what Im like. Most of my friends have been guys throughout my life and I feel much more comfortable with men than surrounded by women. And as I grew up it used to be a joke that I got along with guys better. I was the "little sister" to all my friends and as such I had immunity to flirt with them, knowing nothing would happen from it. This could be as a bawdy joke, insinuations said while laughing, or even just having a guy friend wrap his arm around my shoulders.

Then you have the real flirting, which is only used for my man. It's the stare he gets when he catches my eyes, my lips curled in a hint of a smile, sometimes coupled with an arched eyebrow. It's snaking my hands over his arms to find his hand and clasp it. Using my thumb to make small circles on the base of his palm. Rubbing my foot lightly on his legs under the table while we're at dinner. Those types of flirtations is what I use when I want it to lead to something. And he knows it

Simple, Jophiel.

The next time you find yourself at the grocery store, and you spot an attractive, yet sophisticated looking women say in the produce section of Jewel. Go over and grab yourself a cucumber, and then approach her and say "You know I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you?"

Now that is flirting.








No, vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous.

if you're in midle school

I wondered why that only works on the jailbait.

I picked the wrong week to start reading about flirting.

Airplane rules

First off, I think most flirting is innocent. Second, I think most flirting is unintentional, and is the standard by-product of the charismatic personality. It doesn't mean anything other than "I think you're fun to talk to" for the most part and unless you are either a. at the beginning of a relationship, or b. with someone that is insecure, or c. going through some hardship with your significant other, flirting should not be seen as threatening to the other party.

However, I think it is important to be aware of your own behavior, the affect is has on the person you are interacting with (wouldn't want them to get the wrong idea), and the significant other. Even if you don't mean anything and he/she is taking it the wrong way, it is a respect issue and you need to put yourself in their shoes and try to tone it down a bit.

Also (look I'm turning into gbaji), there would be a huge difference between seeing my husband flirt with an old friend, a friends wife, an ex-girlfriend, an attractive stranger, a new co-worker, etc, etc. All people are not created equal and again, being aware of the s.o.'s feelings about it are important. What constitutes flirting varies from one person's opinion to another, and it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks, just what you consider flirting, what your s.o. considers flirting, and sometimes, what the person you may or may not be flirting with considers flirting.



I just wanted to say: be careful there. It's amazing how quickly the "no way in hell" can get out of hand and turn into a "maybe" and then a "oh **** what am I doing".

Nexa

See but when I flirt I dont do it with strangers. If you're the kind of person who doesnt care what her actions are than I would say thats a reasonable caution. However when I innocently flirt, I do so with men I have known for awhile, who know I am their friend and only that, and that they know my love is only for the Mr. Maybe I have been lucky, but all my guy friends have given me the utmost respect throughout my friendships with them and never try for more. I've never had to deal with anything because the respect my friends and I hold for each other is very strong. Again, Im more like the sister when I go out. Im the one they can safely flirt with and no there will be no consequences