How do i get that calendar everyone has?Follow

Download lots of ****.

S[/u]hit he's seen too much, someone kill him.

                                     ↓His opinion is ****.↓

You need to purchase the following:

1. Fluffy pink fur to line your desk with.
2. A happy-times 2005-2006 Cute and Cuddley Kitty Calender
3. Duct tape.
4. Ply-wood for the airfoil.
5. Fuzzy dice.
6. William Hung's album.
7. A shotglass.
8. Antifreeze.
9. A book on how to pour antifreeze into a shotglass.

What you'll need to do:

1. Line your desk with fluffy pink fur.
2. Use a thumbtack to hang up your cute and cuddley calender.
3. Use the duct tape on the ply wood and make an airfoil so that if you ever take your desk on the road, people will definitely believe it to be pimp because it has a mother fu[/b]cking airfoil.
4. Hang the fuzzy dice by a string.
5. Load the album into your computer and let it play continuously until the words of every song speak to you on the inside.
6. After having read your book, pour the antifreeze into your shotglass.
7. Here's the hard part: Slam your head into the shotglass so that the glass cuts into your skull. Pull your head back and repeat the slamming again. Continue until you can taste the antifreeze through your eye-sockets.
8. Fu[b]ck yourself with the edge of your computer monitor and/or a hard-backed book.
9. Run head-first into a wall and aim for your calender. If the fates have decided upon you, and the blood from your head marks a date on the calender, that is when you will officially have all the pimpness you could ever want.

...

However, any deviation from said steps will result in the dark lord himself, Lucifer, to be born upon this Earth in a physical form long enough to walk to your house, give your mom some flowers, and then proceed to rape you with the flowers that he has effectively stolen back from your mother. Unfortunately, Satan likes fisting, so you might want to be prepared for anything (or so the last guy who attempted this tells me.) Remember to channel your happy place


Ta-da! At least your desktop is pimp now!