The Top Ten Deadly Animals in the U.S.Follow

Pffffft. No poodles? The author is obviously uninformed.

Totem

Fear my killer pug.

It's quite common for pigs to indulge in cannabilistic behavior. They regularly bite the ears and tails off of runts or otherwise "downed" companions.

When I was a kid, every year I had to raise two groups of pigs from little cute piglets to grown porkchops on the hoof. The first batch was just part of my chores, but the second set I always got part of the profit from, set aside where I couldn't get my grubby little video game buying hands on, of course.

Our hog barn had four pens, concrete sloped floors, and walls that were about 3.5 feet tall separating the pens. One of the pens was converted to a hen coop, so we actually only had three pens we used. When the old man would buy a bunch of pigs, we'd put them all in one pen. As they got big enough to need more room, we'd split the group in half and use two pens. The third pen, and a fenced dirt area outside of the barn were both reserved for animals that were being abused by the rest. I can not recall a single lot where I did not have at least three animals that required separation in order to live, much less thrive.

The single worst incident was one time when we had some pigs with trichinosis (IIRC). At any rate, I had to medicate their water daily. To make sure they drank nothing but the medicated water, their regular waterers were turned off and replaced with a trough. To keep them from wallowing in the trough we welded bars across the top of the trough, roughly 12 inches apart. So, one afternoon when I hopped off the schoolbus I heard squealing coming from the barn (a good 200 yards away). I figured there was a bit of a tussle going on and it'd end in a moment or two as always. Not so. After about 20 seconds or so, I started running out there. I found that one of the pigs somehow managed to squeeze his *** in between those bars. This was a 90 pound pig, mind you. He was 100% in that trough on his side and there was pig poking out puffed around every one of those bars. His penmates had taken his tail off clean and gnawed his exposed ear down to a nub as well. The one leg that was sticking out between the bars had been getting some rough treatment as well, though he could still flop it around a little so it wasn't really in such bad shape.

After I sat there playing bodyguard for two hours until the old man came home I could have happily let them finish the job. Well, if not for the fact that I'd still have to get him out of there and would be doing so with a sore *** if I chosen to leave him.

We had to cut half the bars to get the pig loose and never could put him back in with the rest even after he healed up. Pigs are nasty bastards.

*All references to maleness in these pigs are just me being lazy. Technically we had nothing but females and eunuchs. No boars for us, not for long, anyway.