Babies for teh gaysFollow

I discovered an all-gay channel on DirectTV the other day, and I watched a special on gay parents. I was concerned and yet not surprised to hear that there are states that don't allow gay couples to adopt. While they usually get around this law by becoming "legal guardians", it strikes me that this issue echoes some of the concerns that people have when they speak of gay marriages vs. civil unions. I mean, if the kid thinks you're his father, what does it matter what they call you, right?

The case that I found most disturbing was this gay nurse who was given his child by a patient who was a chronic drug user. The patient was informed that he was gay, and the grandparents agree that the gay man is an amazing caretaker. The child refers to him as "dad." However, he is not allowed to adopt him because Florida law prevents him from doing so. He went to court for a hearing, and was denied his day in court. In the meantime, this child is amazingly bright and kind, and sensitive not only to his issues as a child of a gay parent, but as a black child of a white single father. It turns out that this is a big thing: gay couples adopt large numbers of African-American children, who are traditionally underserved by the U.S. adoption system. Doesn't it do more harm to leave these kids in the system?

Here is the national system on state courts on the difference between adoption and legal guardianship:


This means that the gay parent, although emotionally connected and morally responsible enough to act as a parent still stands below the birth parent as far as rights are concerned.

Totally agree with you there DSD. Doing family law, though, I can see why legislators and politicians are so reluctant to deal with the gay parent issue. The legal definitions of mother and father, married couple and a whole slew of other terms as defined in statutes would have to be redone. Not to mention the amount of paperwork EVERYWHERE that would have to be revised (everything is put down as Mother and Father, not the generic term parent).

So instead of the whole moral and ethical debate on gay parents, I really see it as people are just too damn lazy to hash it all out in the legislature, rewrite the statutes and revise every form.

Another civil liberty pummeled into submission by beauracracy.

on second thought



Seriously... meh, why bother. I just add things like this to my file called "People and why they suck."

While I am all for gay marriage, and I am sure there are many cases where a gay couple would be perfectly good adoptive parents, I am not so sure that gay couples should be able to adopt.

I think it is primarily a selfish desire to live a normal life. This is fine for marriage, but not for bringing up children as it may have a potentially negative impact on the child. They are likely to get a hell of a lot of crap at school and be pretty confused growing up.

Dunno, more of a grey area than gay marriage in my opinion.

Pat. For the same reason we shouldn't allow Jews to adopt in case of the fear of future anti-semitism towards the child.

This is the exact rationale being used by people to oppose gay adoption. The problem is it's insupportable. Every psychological study done to date has shown that kids raised by gay parents, with or without partners, are no less well-adjusted nor have any greater emotional issues than kids raised by straight parents.

The important factor is that the home is stable and without constant or violent conflict. As long as that requirement is met, there's no evidence whatsoever to indicate that a child will have any emotional or adjustment issues coming from a gay home.

Optimal ::
Child born into a loving two-parent home with tons of familial support all through life


Acceptible ::
Child born to a loving single parent
Child adopted by loving couple


Lame ::
Child shuffled among foster families
Child adopted by a couple that grows to despise same
Child born to a single parent who doesn't want same
Child born to a two-parent home who doesn't want same


I don't really care about the sexuality of the couples involved during an adoption. If they are seeking to raise a child and will love the child like their own, so be it. Far better to have a child raised by a gay* couple than to have them handled by people that do not care for them.


* : Feel free to substitute other words in here - anything that signifies "different from myself". For sake of argument, pick something you feel xenophobic towards, be they black, muslim, martian, or ***** as a nine dollar bill.


I'd rather have children raised in the wild by a pack of loving wolves than be given up to well-heeled, respectably married, completely heterosexual couples that will treat them like garbage.

Edited, Mon Oct 17 18:12:25 2005 by Wingchild

Actually, Pat, they addressed those kinds of issues in the special. They had two kids-one a girl raised by a gay couple who later separated, and one a boy raised by a single gay man, and the issues that most affected them were not the ones dealing with the parents' sexuality, but the common everyday ones: the "divorce" for the girl, and the lack of a mother for the boy.

The couples dealt with it very honestly. The gay couple told their daughter that although they loved her, theyjust didn't get along anymore but that they would all stay friends and raise her together. The single dad told his son that he understood, but just like he wanted a mom very badly, some children didn't have dads and some had no parents at all so they should be grateful they had each other and did he feel loved enough? Of course the child did, but those kinds of things happen. You don't want your kid to be untouched, you want him to be resilient.

Why do you think I drink so much?

To make us seem witty?

BAMM!

Because you want to?
Because you live in the South?
Because you have a three-year old?
Because you can?