On World DominationFollow

<WARNING: EXTREMELY LONG POST>

WORLD DOMINATION: THE PLAN
Conceived by: TheMightyMagnu

Consisting of three phases, each taking from 2-26 years to complete.


Phase 1: Learn, fix, and plan.

Time taking to complete: 22-26 years

Details: The first stage to world domination is simply to gather knowledge, both about the world at large and about oneself. To expound, information must be gathered about such figures as Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler, men who had an entire country of civilized people underneath their proverbial thumb. Also, social skills, by hook or by crook, must be aquired, as no ruler could be ruler for long without the ability to express themselves. Lessons must also be taken about the mistakes of these people, and their methods must be put to use on a global instead of regional scale.

A simple issue to be resolved before world domination can be attempted is the issue of personality, that is, traits that can both help and hinder a human. Many traits are also solely positive, while others are solely negative. Each negative trait must be purged from the system during Phase 1, and traits which can be either positive or negative must be used in solely positive manners.

A Brief List of Personality Traits that affect yours truly:

Intelligence
Brawn
Narcissism
Arrogance
Introversion
Dependance
Sloth

As you can see, several of these traits are what most people would consider 'negative'. However, I put it to you that many can be put to good use.

SOLELY POSITIVE TRAITS

Intelligence: You can never be too smart.

Brawn: You can never cease to build up your self-image.

SOLELY NEGATIVE TRAITS

Dependance: As a ruler with total authority, this trait must be purged no later than age 18. If it is allowed to continue, it could threaten the Plan.

Sloth: The most dangerous trait. Ruling requires hard work, in virtually every area imaginable. This trait should be purged as soon as humanly possible, by any means necessary, even to the extent of replacing it with another negative trait.

MIXED TRAITS

Narcissism: This trait is commonly misconstrued as solely negative, however I put it to you that it can be used well by the competent ruler. Charm and good looks can corrupt, but used correctly they can win key positions in either money-making areas or areas vital to the Plan. As long as these looks don't get taken for granted or feed arrogance.

Arrogance: Speak of the devil. As the total ruler of the earth, one is bound to feel somewhat arrogant. This can cause one of two things.

1. It can make you extremely cocky, ultimately leading to a mistake. Mistakes are to be avoided at all cost.

2. It can serve as a reminder to underlings that you are simply better than them. Factually, this is a simple truth, although in reality it would be better not to ferment unrest.

Introversion: It should be obvious why this is a mixed trait. However for those of you that are dim-witted I will explain in further detail. First, the negative. Obviously, being an introvert will hamper social activity. Social activity is very likely the most important aspect of the Plan, so this is to be avoided at all costs. However, once total rule has been achieved, it can be turned to your advantage. This will not be covered in the first half of the plan.

Phase 1 should primarily be used to straighten these traits out, and to mold them to suit the needs of a total ruler. This should be complete by age 18.

The second part to Phase 1 is education. Education has been received since age 2, therefore it should not be that much of an issue. However, social education should not be shirked, nor should history. Finally, our society strangely looks down upon members of our society who have failed to complete college, therefore to further the Plan it is imperative to attend the best college possible. Staying there for a Master's degree is optional but recommended.

Phase 2:To marry and to secure a government job.

Time to complete: 2-18 years

Phase 2 is actually two phases, however they should both be secured within the same time period. This phase should take approximately 10 years, however depending upon luck and the build up of the traits in phase 1, there is a large grey area.

The marriage part, you might think, should be optional, however I put it to you that the majority of the people in governing bodies are morons in that they believe a 'family man' to be more honest than a bachelor. You should note that every king, president, or other authority figure has been married or forced to marry to obtain that image, and the total ruler should be no exception. Preferably, you should marry for money so that that nuisance no longer poses a threat.

Securing a government job is essential. The closer you get to the UN, the better. Remember the goal is TOTAL WORLD domination, not just American or European domination. By the end of Phase 2 you should be working for either the UN itself or another high beurocratic area of your own country's government.

Phase 3: Securing the position.

Time to Complete: Varies greatly on the success of the prior two phases.

One of the central points, I believe, to becoming a total ruler is to minimize the change the people as a whole experience. Therefore, the individual countries should remain the same, with their same government, political problems, etc. However, the difference will be who sits in the adviser's seat to the United Nations. I believe this to be the ideal location for a world ruler in that

1. He avoids the limelight. No one but a select few will actually know the situation, and those few will be forced into doing your bidding through force.

2. You can give orders under the guise of 'advice'. This 'advice' will always be acted upon. Essentially, you are using all of the world's governments as puppet systems.

3. The media will stay out of your face, and you will be able to control exactly what it says.

However, securing this ideal position will not be easy. This is the moment each of the prior phases has been building up to: you must assemble an elite team of commandos that follows your orders alone. Depending on the skill of these commandos to strike fear into your opponents heart, you may need as few as 10 to begin your operation. This may take years and years depending on the prior success of the last two phases. Obviously, I will not go into a detail by detail walkthrough depending on situation. Therefore, I am forced to end this transmission.

Peace out.

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Discuss.

There is actually a second portion to the Plan, I am just too tired to write it right now.

Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering Pinky?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but I don't think the OP has access to a vat of hydrochloric acid for a nice setz bath.
Brain: You're probably an idiot, Pinky. Tonight's plan is... ah, who cares. Five'll get ya ten it's a stinker like all the others.
Pinky: I'm not listening, Brain, I'm doing something stupid over here. Zoiks, or somethin' like it.
Brain: Yes, I see. Well, better get some sleep so we can prepare for tomorrow night.
Pinky: What're we doing tomorrow night, Brain?
Brain: The same thing we've done every night for the last 15 years, Pinky. Try to take over the... (yawn,)

Narf!

Whens the last time posting of any kind was cool?

What other guy?

I avoid questions by making a delicious glass of rich chocolate Ovaltine.


am I the only one?

Sometimes I avoid them with a fake heart attack, but I cant do that on a forum, unless I go for a whole Monty Python "The Castle of Aaaauuuggghhhh" thing

I don't have anyone around to dictate though.

I offer courses if you are interested.