What tin-pot dictator are you?Follow

Well done comrade! You're one of the big boys! When you're not holding speeches about how everyone is equal in the communist society, you're busy living the high-life while millions starve, freeze or get worked to death! You zany person you!

You answer the question: "what if Hitler was black?" A power-mad little **** that will do anything to keep your backside in the presidential seat, that's what! Sadly, no matter how much you persecute your populace, they are getting sick of you! When given the option of starving to death because of the **** poor economy you created or stringing you up by the nearest lamppost, more and more find the later more attractive! Also shave that stupid, little moustache off! It makes you look like an even bigger tit then you are already!

"Wait, I'm not a dictator!" you cry! Well lets look at the check list: Unelected? Check! Use wars and xenophobia to boost popularity? Check! Total control of the media so they never say a bad word against you? Check! Kill scores of innocent people to get what you want? Check! Do anything to get your hands on oil? Check! Inhumane treatment of prisoners? Check! Face it, you're a dictator, and no amount of gloss will hide that fact… or the fact you're a borderline ****** who looks like a monkey!

As dictators go, you're kind of pathetic! Instead of military coup or systematic persecution to get power, you just happen to be the head of the only party in the UK that isn't totally worthless! While not very impressive it is none the less effective! You can do whatever the hell you like without any chance of getting voted out of office! People know that the only alternative would have them eating their children if they ever got back into power! However, you still think that you are as loved as you were when you were first elected into power… News flash for you: You're not!

When not writing poetry you're devising your own version of communism